So Easy
by thimbles
Summary: If she were my girl, I'd be so damn good to her. If only it were that easy, right? [Probably just gonna be short and sweet. Not sure I remember how to do this.]
1. Chapter 1

The party's hit a lull. It's that slow point around two a.m. before things head one of two ways. If someone doesn't inject something—more booze, some pills, even The 'Hoods at full volume—then people are about twenty minutes off sobering up, picking up on the muted vibe, and feeling uncomfortable enough to start heading out.

I hate the lull. Hate waiting to see whether it's all going to fizzle out, or if someone manages to spark things back up. Which means I've already got the ride-sharing app open on my phone when Jasper Whitlock shows up with a carload of pretty girls, all of them wearing sundresses as colourful as the drinks they're clutching.

'Hey, man.' Jasper stops on the verandah when he sees me, tucks the cutest girl—a brunette with a ponytail and sparkly gold eyeshadow—under his arm. The rest of the girls dance around us as they head inside, already arguing about who's going to take control of the music and what they're going to change it to. I catch someone's whine, "But I hate Aussie hip hop," before they disappear, leaving only the sticky-sweet smell of their mingled perfumes.

I tip my chin at Jasper. 'How's it going?' Not that long ago, I would've counted him as one of my best mates. We kind of drifted apart after we finished school, though, so I haven't seen him in a while.

The girl looks up at him, all wide-eyed, and I gotta wonder what bullshit he's spun her to have her looking at him like he hung the damn moon.

'Orright,' he says. The girls must have come to an agreement, because inside, the music kicks up a notch—in both volume and tempo. Jasper has to raise his voice in response. 'Heard you been workin' for Mick Newton. Must be nice, eh?'

I set the now-warm beer I've been nursing for the last hour on the verandah rail and shrug. I stuff my hands in my pockets. 'Still apprentice wages, mate. I don't get paid any more working up the nice end of town.'

I take another peek at the girl. She's still got her eyes on Jas, so I take the chance to check her out. She's got killer legs. Firm-looking muscles under skin that looks so damn soft my fingertips actually twitch.

'I s'pose.'

I snap my gaze back to Jasper as he lifts his arm, dislodging the girl, and tugs off his cap. He runs his hand through his hair—motherfucker's always been vain about his hair—and settles the cap back on, this time backwards. I want to laugh when he hooks a bleached curl out over the closure, but instead, I thrust my hand towards the girl.

'Hey. I'm Edward.'

Jasper doesn't notice—or doesn't care—that I'm not being subtle in calling out his lack of manners.

The girl smiles, all red lipstick and white teeth. 'Bella. It's nice to—'

'You leavin' already, Cullen?' Jasper asks. He jerks his head in the direction of the front door. 'Fresh pus—meat just arrived. You're welcome.'

He doesn't notice the way Bella's nose scrunches, but I do. It's cute as fuck. I catch her gaze and roll my eyes. Her lips twitch before she looks down.

Jasper nudges her with an elbow. 'You want a drink, babe?'

'Um, yeah. Yes, please.' She smiles up at him, all wide-eyed and adoring again, but he's not even looking. Instead, he quirks an eyebrow at me and grabs a handful of Bella's ass. She startles, and even in the piss-poor light, I can tell she's blushing.

'Grab me a beer, too, wouldya?' Jasper says.

'Oh. Yeah. Sure.' Bella gives me half a smile before she tucks a non-existent strand of hair behind her ear and disappears inside.

My phone vibrates in my pocket as a silver sedan pulls into the driveway. 'That's me,' I say, pointing a thumb over my shoulder.

Jas shrugs. 'Guess I'll see ya 'round.'

* * *

_Anyone still out there reading this kind of stuff?_


	2. Chapter 2

When Jasper's name lights up my phone a few weeks later, I almost let it go to voicemail. Almost. But then I remember Bella's face scrunched up all cute and those damn legs and hit answer before I've completely swallowed my mouthful of sausage roll.

'Yeah?' It comes out garbled, smothered by the lump of half-chewed pastry, meat, and tomato sauce still in my mouth.

'Ed, man. How's it going?'

'Uh…' I swallow, then wince as the food scrapes its way down my oesophagus. Jasper didn't actually need a reply, it seems, because he continues as if I've given a satisfactory answer.

'Cool. So, I saw Macca out at Kiddies' the other day and he reckons you've got a room available.'

I take a swig of vanilla malt milk to clear my mouth. 'Uh, yeah. Tanya moved out last week, so we're looking for someone to take her room.'

'How much?'

The glare coming off the freshly poured slab is giving me a headache. I squint as I watch Mick walk the perimeter, pretending like he's inspecting shit. He's probably just trying to increase the step count on the fitness tracker his missus likes him to wear.

'Two hundred a week. That includes internet and water, and we split the power bill.'

Jasper whistles and I cringe away from my phone. _Fuckwit_. 'That's not cheap.'

I shrug, as though he can see me. He could definitely find somewhere cheaper if he wanted, but two hundred is pretty damn reasonable given the location and amenities. 'Yeah, well. It is what it is.' My parents might own the place, but they still have to cover the mortgage on it somehow.

'Can you text me the address?' he says. 'I'll come over this arvo to check it out.'

I hesitate. 'I'm not asking this to be a dickhead, but, uh, you got a regular income, right?'

'You want me to fill in an application form?' Jasper snorts. 'But yeah, I got an income. I'm workin' two jobs. I pack shelves a couple nights a week and I'm behind the bar at the Bayview most days. You want references?'

'Nah. You get why I had to ask, right?'

'Yeah, whatever. So when can I come take a look?'

I scrub my fingers through my hair and look down at my boots. Thanks to the last few months' work, and more than a few hikes, they look almost as beat up as the other guys' do. I'm not sure I'm too keen on Jasper moving in. But if he does… well, maybe there's a chance I'll run into Bella again.

'Come by this arvo,' I tell him. 'I'll send you the address now.'

* * *

_Well, hi! Super cool to see so many familiar names landing in my inbox. _

_This bout of nonsense was inspired by the song 'So Easy' by Triple One, ft. Kwame and actual angel Matt Corby. _


	3. Chapter 3

Turns out, Jasper's not too bad a housemate. He pays his share of the bond and the first two weeks in advance, and after that I hardly see him. He's usually still asleep when I leave for work, and by the time I knock off, he's already headed to one of his jobs. He's not too messy—not any worse than me and Alistair, anyway. The occasional empty tinny on the coffee table or half-drunk coffee by the kitchen sink doesn't bother me. I have my own ensuite, but I still stick my nose into the main bathroom every now and then to make sure they're not leaving piss on the dunny seat or wet towels all over the floor.

The downside of not seeing a lot of Jasper is that I haven't seen Bella. Like, at all.

Well, I _thought_ I saw her at the Beery one Friday night but I was pretty trashed and by the time I made my way over to where I thought I'd seen her, all I found was a group of guys I vaguely recognised as having been a few years behind me at school. They might still have been in school, come to think of it, because they asked me to buy them a case of beer from the bottlo next door. Annoyed with my overactive imagination and the distinct lack of Bella in my life, I told them I wasn't old enough to drink and decided it was well past time to head home.

I finally manage to engineer being home, and conscious, at the same time as Jasper by bailing on a Sunday lunch at my parents'. When he emerges from his room, nursing what looks like a killer hangover, I offer him a plate of bacon and eggs. He's clearly too grateful for the greasy food to question my sudden act of domestic generosity.

'Big night?' I aim for casual, even as it occurs to me wonder if he's ever had Bella here, in my house, without my ever being aware of it.

Jasper groans and drops his face into his hands. 'Apparently.'

'Where'd you go?' What I really want to ask is: _Who were you with?_ I shove some bacon into my mouth so the words don't accidentally escape.

'My mate's band played a gig at some pub up north,' he says, 'so me 'n a few of the boys went to watch.'

'They any good? The band?'

He snorts and swipes some toast through the smears of orange-yellow yolk left on his plate. He looks at the eggy bread for a moment before he tosses it back onto the plate.

'They sucked.' He brushes crumbs from his hands. 'I don't even know if you could call them a band. Like, they don't have a drummer or a guy on a keyboard. It's just this one guy pressing all these little light up squares, you know?'

'Right.' I think he means a synth with a drum machine, but I could be wrong.

'Yeah, so it's that one guy, and the other guy like, I guess he's the singer, but he just sings a few bits and then spends the rest of the time pressing pedals to make it echo or whatever.'

I expect the 'but that's not a real band!' attitude towards electronica from people my old man's age. It's a little weird coming from someone Jasper's age. 'You remember what they're called? The band?'

Jasper stares into his coffee mug for a moment, like he might find the answer in there. 'Yeah, nah. No idea.' He swallows the rest of his coffee. He's one of those people who make that nerve-grating 'hhaaa' noise after they drink, which means I make a mental note to avoid offering him liquids where I can help it.

I can't figure out how to bring the subject around to Bella, short of asking him if he's got a girlfriend, and something tells me that might be too obvious. So instead I ask, 'You got any plans this arvo?'

Jasper scratches the patchy whiskers sprouting from his top lip. 'Don't think so. Why? You got something good on?'

I shrug, then get to my feet. I scrape the bacon rinds and toast crusts into the bin before stacking my plate into the dishwasher. 'I guess we could invite a few people 'round. If you want.'

* * *

_tinny = beer can; dunny = toilet; Beery = beer garden (outdoor area at the pub); bottlo = liquor store. I'll try to remember to translate, but hey, for aaaaages I thought you were all literally putting pumpkin in your lattes so I don't feel too bad about using Australianisms. (FYI, pumpkin spice = mixed spice.)_


	4. Chapter 4

Jasper's idea of 'a few people' is a bit different to mine. I invite five people over. He invites, like, fifty.

I'd be more pissed about it, but this crew are like a fucking rent-a-crowd or something. Not only do they bring cases of beer and soft drink, they also come with Eskys pre-loaded with ice, folding chairs, and picnic blankets. They even bring a couple of beach umbrellas and one of those pop-up shelter things. It's wild, watching a couple of girls I've never met clean and light my barbeque, while this guy—I'm pretty sure he said his name was Stefan—hands me a wine glass that definitely isn't mine.

'An aperol spritz for the gracious host,' he tells me, before he disappears back into my kitchen.

I swallow half the chilled orange liquid and walk out onto our back verandah. The breeze is slowly swinging around to the south, chasing away the afternoon heat. I love this time of year, when the days are warm but the nights are still cool enough that I can get to sleep easily. It won't be long until we're sweltering twenty-four seven.

'No, put the prosciutto here.'

In the most shaded corner of the verandah, two girls and a guy putting together one of those grazing table set ups. They're unwrapping cheeses and cured meats and arranging it on these big wooden boards that definitely didn't come from my kitchen. I watch as the guy drapes a bunch of grapes between two piles of crackers, then pushes away the wheel of cheese one of the girls is about to set down. 'This one already has a soft cheese,' he tells her. 'Put the vintage cheddar here, and the washed rind over there.'

I shake my head, which the cheese guy must see, because he points at me and says, 'See. This guy knows what's up.'

I swallow the rest of whatever the hell drink is in my hand, wondering how I'm suddenly feeling like a guest in my own bloody house. I'm seriously considering hiding out in my bedroom with a six pack so I can drink myself into a slightly less overwhelmed state when I spot Bella weaving her way through the knots of people clustered on the grass. She's wearing a tiny denim skirt and no shoes, meaning there's a whole lot of tanned leg on display. She's got to be a runner, I decide, based on the definition in her quads and calves.

Someone has very considerately placed an Esky by the top of the stairs that lead from the verandah down into the backyard, so I grab a beer, not even looking at the label, and crack it open. I lean against the railing and pull my phone from my pocket. I pretend to be scrolling through Instagram, but really, I'm watching Bella.

She flits from one group to another, ponytail swinging as she goes. She's smiley, and seems to be well-liked, given all the cheek-kisses and one-armed hugs she's offered. It's dumb, but I'm a little jealous. I wish I knew her well enough to kiss her cheek. I bet they're fucking soft, her cheeks.

Eventually, a girl she's talking to gestures towards the verandah, and Bella looks up. She nods, touches the girl on the shoulder, and starts heading my way. By the time she's reached the top of the stairs, I can see the small creases lining her forehead. She stops at the Esky, pulls out a beer, and examines the label. With a wrinkle of her nose, she drops it back into the ice and feels around for another can. Whatever she pulls out meets her approval, because she cracks it open and takes a drink. She doesn't make the 'hhaaa' noise, thankfully.

I take a step towards her.

'Hi, uh, Bella, right?'

She looks up, eyes wide. 'Oh, hi.' She chews her lip for a moment. 'I'm so sorry, I know we met before, but I can't remember your name.'

* * *

_Esky = portable cooler._


	5. Chapter 5

I'm pretty sure my stomach falls into my shoes. Or through the decking into the damp, dark soil below. This chick has been on my mind from the moment I met her, but clearly, I couldn't have been further from hers. _I'm such a loser_.

Maybe Bella sees something of my embarrassment on my face, because she offers me her hand, like some sort of consolation prize.

'I'm Edward,' I tell her. For the second time.

'Oh!' Her smile widens as she squeezes my fingers. 'No, I did know that. You live here with Jas.'

I let go of her hand, not wanting to seem like one of those weirdos who have no sense of personal space. 'That's me.' I don't bother pointing out that it's Jasper who lives here with me.

Bella glances behind me. 'I haven't seen him yet. Is he even here?'

I shove my hand through my hair. This girl has me feeling like an absolute tosser. 'Jasper? Yeah, last I saw he was in the kitchen.' He was chopping strawberries for punch or some shit.

'Right.' Bella makes no move to head inside and seek him out. Instead, she takes another sip of her beer and mirrors my position, hip against the railing. Her t-shirt has slipped sideways, revealing a lavender bra strap nestled in the middle of a stripe of much paler skin. Whatever she usually wears in the sun has straps about three of my fingers wide.

'You went to school with Jas, right?'

I yank my gaze up to meet hers. Bella's eyes are a really pretty shade of brown, kind of like tea before you add the milk, with these little flecks of green and gold towards the pupil. Something sort of soft and wistful passes over her face before she squares her shoulders and breaks eye contact.

'Um, yeah.' I shove my phone back into my pocket and reach up to massage the stiff muscles in my neck. 'Known him since we were about twelve, I guess.'

Before I can ask Bella how she knows Jasper, she says, 'You're a builder, right? I remember you said something about being an apprentice.'

She remembered that and not my name? 'Close. I'm doing a carpentry apprenticeship.'

Bella does that cute as fuck nose scrunch at me. 'Like, making furniture?'

'Nah.' It's a common misconception. People hear 'carpenter' and picture Jesus sanding a table or something. 'That's a cabinet maker. A carpenter basically does all the wood bits on a house. Frames, decks, floors, that sort of stuff.'

'Oh.' Bella nods. 'Have you been doing that long?'

'Almost finished my first year.'

Bella does a double-take, which again, is pretty common. I wink at her, 'Little older than your average first year apprentice, huh?'

Her cheeks and neck flush a dark pink. She sets her beer down and reaches for her ponytail. She yanks the elastic out and lets her hair fall around her shoulders. My sister used to do the same thing when she was really embarrassed, so I immediately feel crap for teasing her.

'I spent a couple of years working and travelling after I finished the HSC,' I tell her. 'Sort of worked my way around the country, just in bars and cafés or whatever. So by the time I finished fucking around and figured out what I wanted to do with myself… Yeah. I was already way older than a lot of the guys are when they finish their apprenticeship.'

I drain the last of my beer and aim the can at the empty box beside the Esky. 'Although, there's this one guy I go to TAFE with who was a doctor for 30 years.'

That brings back Bella's smile. 'Seriously? That is so cool.'

I scrub my fingers through my hair. 'You reckon?'

'Absolutely,' she says. 'Imagine having the guts to quit something after that long and start all over again. I _love_ that. I hope I'm always open to change like that.' She combs her fingers through the ends of her hair as her gaze drifts out over the backyard. 'Like, I hope I'll always be brave enough to quit something that isn't making me happy.'

And with that, I'm a goner. My stomach dives again, but this time it's welcome. Because I might've been taken by Bella's sexy legs and cute facial expressions, but when she gives me this little peek into her mind—I'm in full-blown crush territory now.

Of course, it's at that moment that motherfucking Jasper slams open the screen door and yells, 'Bellaaaaaaaa. Get that hot arse of yours in here.'

Bella gives me a small smile and the barest of winks as she moves to obey his ill-timed demand. 'Edward.' She nods. 'I won't forget again. Promise.'

* * *

_TAFE = technical and further education. I don't know what the equivalent anywhere else is. You can study various certificates and diplomas across a variety of vocational areas. _


	6. Chapter 6

Most of the guys have already taken off on their usual Maccas run by the time I realise I've left my lunch sitting in the fridge at home. I can't be bothered driving into town myself, so I head across the grass, dodging the arcing sprinklers, to the cafeteria shared by the TAFE and uni campuses. I've never actually eaten here before, so it's a pleasant surprise to find that it's air-conditioned, and that I get a huge discount when I swipe my student ID. Also, they don't charge for tomato sauce, which is a massive win in my book.

I find a table by the windows and watch a couple of plovers picking their way across the grass while I eat my pie. When I spot the tiny balls of grey fluff on legs, I make a mental note to stay far, far away from that section of the grass. Plovers are territorial motherfuckers at the best of times, but if they've guarding chicks, then they're downright aggro. Aggro birds with fucking spurs on their fucking wings.

'Edward?'

I look over my shoulder to find Bella smiling down at me. Her hair is tied in a wobbly bun on top of her head.

I wipe my chin, hoping it's not covered with sauce and flakes of pastry. 'Bella. Hi.'

'What are you—' She shakes her head, her bun bobbing from side to side. 'You've got TAFE today?'

'Yeah.' I gesture at the small stack of textbooks and folders she's carrying. 'Uni?'

She nods and mimes dumping her books onto the table beside me. 'Can I join you?'

'Of course.' My shit isn't really in her way, but I move it over anyway. 'Please.'

She drops the textbooks with a sigh and slips her backpack off. I scan the spines of the books. _Observing and Understanding Child Development; Education, Change and Society_.

'Teaching?' I guess.

Bella pulls one of those aluminium water bottles from the pocket of her bag. 'Yeah. Early Childhood and Primary.'

'You like kids then?'

It's probably a dumb question but Bella just raises her eyebrows as she takes a drink. She screws the lid back on and huffs a tiny laugh. 'Most of the time. Oh, hey. I'm sorry I didn't come back to chat more on Sunday night. My ride decided to leave early and I didn't even get the chance to say thank you—'

'Hey, Belinda.' A redhead waves at Bella as she walks past, and I'm so busy getting my head around the fact that Bella meant to seek me out again that it takes my brain a moment to catch up.

'Bella is short for Belinda?'

Bella rolls her eyes, but her cheeks go pink. 'She's being a dick.' She sighs and digs a thumb into her temple. 'I'm really bad at names.' She aims a wry smile at me. 'As you know. That'—she points in the redhead's direction—'is Maggie. But it took me like, half of last semester to remember her name, so she calls me random names that start with B to remind me how much I suck.'

I frown after the redhead. 'That's kinda shitty.'

Bella drops her elbows to the table and rests her chin in her hands. 'I had a traumatic brain injury a couple of years ago,' she says. 'It was pretty full on. Like, I had to do so much rehab before I could walk without bumping into walls or just stand on one foot. My short term memory is now absolutely awful, too. Last time I saw my neurologist, I tested in the bottom ten percent for my age. And for some reason, learning names is the thing I find the most difficult.'

Full on is an understatement. 'Does Megs know that?' If she does, she must be a real piece of work. Why would you give someone shit for something they've got no control over?

'Nah.' Bella shrugs. 'I don't usually bother explaining it to people.' She drops her hands and reaches for her water bottle, which she turns on its side and starts to spin on the laminate table. 'Kind people don't need a reason to be kind, you know?'

She must see my confusion, because she gives me a tiny smile. 'I don't want her to be nice to me because she feels sorry for me,' she says. 'That's not kindness, that's pity.'

That makes a lot of sense. 'Yeah, I get you.' I could seriously listen to this girl talk for hours. 'Do you mind if I ask how that—the injury—happened?'

Bella shakes her head. She grabs my hand and guides it towards the side of her head, just a few centimetres behind her ear. 'Do you feel that ridge there?'

I move my fingers cautiously against her skull. I can feel it, a small, hard bump under her skin. 'Yeah.' I realise I've been holding my breath and gently pull my hand from hers.

'I used to compete in IronWoman events. I came off my board in some big surf and managed to cop it in the back of the head. Woke up in hospital with fourteen stitches and feeling like someone had held my brain buttons down until the apple appeared.'

'Fucking hell.'

'It was,' Bella says. She spins her drink bottle again, a little harder this time. I catch it before it goes flying off the edge of the table. 'It took me two days to remember my parents' names. Everything came back, just slowly, and in bits and pieces. It sucked, like, feeling so out of control in my own brain.'

The words feel useless but I offer them anyway: 'I'm sorry.'

Bella's lips curl a little as she says, 'I think the worst bit was the way everyone kept telling me how lucky I was. And I was—I _am_. I could've drowned, could've been paralysed, could've had severe, lasting brain damage. But while I was trying to remember my own date of birth and whether I liked vanilla slice and how to stand up without falling on my arse, I didn't feel very lucky.'

'I think,' I say, trying to pick my words carefully, 'sometimes people think they're being helpful by trying to focus on the positives in a situation. They mean well, but they don't realise they're actually making you feel worse by adding guilt on top of everything else.' I snort and hand Bella her drink bottle. 'Kind of like I've just done now.' I sigh. 'Sorry.'

'Not at all,' Bella squeezes my forearm. 'You're totally right. And,' she tilts her head, 'it seems like you're speaking from experience.'

I recognise the unspoken question. I've known this chick for all of five seconds, but she's so open that it's easy to reciprocate. 'My sister had leukaemia.'

Bella hand tightens on my forearm. She hesitates, her lip between her teeth. 'Had?'

I smile and cover her hand with my own. Just for a moment; I don't want to come across as a creep. 'Had. She's been in remission for seven years now.'

'That's great, right?' Bella's hand leaves my forearm, which kind of sucks, because I really like her touching me. She combs her fingers through the hair at her temples, like she's trying to tidy it up or something. It looks fine to me.

'Yeah—' My phone starts to buzz on the table. I catch sight of the time. 'Oh, shit.' I was supposed to be back in class twenty minutes ago. 'Bella, I'm so sorry. I gotta run.'

Bella blinks down at her watch. 'Shit. Me, too.'

As we get to our feet, Bella shoves her drink bottle back into its pocket on the side of her bag. She taps each of the pockets of her shorts and then her bag twice, before she picks up her books.

'It was really nice to see you again, Edward.'

'Yeah. You, too.' I want to ask her for her number, but I still don't know what the go with her and Jasper is. So instead I say, 'I'll see you soon?'

She grins up at me. 'Hope so.'

I spend the rest of the afternoon wondering if she hopes so because she enjoys my company, or if she hopes so because she wants to be hanging out with Jasper, at my house.

* * *

_Macca's = McDonald's (Even Macca's calls itself Macca's, okay?); aggro = aggressive. _


	7. Chapter 7

When I yank open the door on Friday evening, I'm expecting the delivery guy from the Thai restaurant. Instead, I find Bella, in the red shirt and black cap I immediately identify as a Macca's uniform.

'Hey.' I push open the screen door to let her in, but she doesn't move.

'Um…'

I watch in amusement as Bella's eyes widen and her gaze bounces between my face and my bare chest. I'm not a massive unit; I've always been what my sister so helpfully described as 'gangly.' But a year of being tasked all the shittiest jobs on construction sites has finally helped build some muscle the way lifting weights in the gym and downing protein shakes never managed to. And honestly, every night of aching muscles and morning of spasms and cramps is worth the look on Bella's face right now. Finally, she looks up at me, her face the same colour as her shirt. She steps inside, bringing with her the faint scent of fried food.

'Hi, Edward.' Bella drops her backpack on the floor and pulls her cap off. 'Lost your shirt?' She startles at the obnoxious guffaw that comes from the other side of the living room.

I flip Al the bird from behind Bella as I close the screen door.

'Bella, have you met Alistair?'

Bella flashes a smile over her shoulder, before she nods. 'Yep. We met the other night. You're the nurse, right, Alistair?'

Alistair tosses his PlayStation controller onto the couch beside him and stands to shake Bella's hand. 'Yeah, that's me. How's it going, Bella?'

'Good, thanks.'

There's an awkward pause as Al and I look at Bella, wondering which one of us is going to ask the obvious, but then she rolls her eyes and says, 'Jas isn't home yet, is he?'

Alistair shakes his head. 'Not yet.'

Bella sighs. She pulls her ponytail loose, then reties into a top knot. 'He said he was finishing at six. Told me to catch the bus over after work and hang out with him tonight.'

Jealousy pulses through me, hot and sour. But I shove it aside when I see the obvious disappointment in Bella's eyes.

'Maybe they got slammed and he hasn't been able to get away just yet,' I say.

Alistair nods as he sinks back down to the couch. 'Yeah, probably. You know how The Bayview gets on a Friday night. He shouldn't be too long. Grab the woman a beer, Ed.' He offers Bella a controller. 'You in?'

She flops onto the couch beside him. 'Nah, I don't have the hand-eye coordination anymore.' She smiles up at me. 'But a beer would be awesome, if that's okay?'

The guy arrives with our Thai takeaway while I'm getting the beers, so I grab bowls and cutlery for three. Bella tries to tell us she's not hungry, then tries to offer us money, but Al and I wave her protests away.

'We always order way too much,' I tell her, as I take a seat on the floor beside the coffee table.

Al adds, 'And Whitlock will steal the leftovers anyway, so you'd be doing us a favour.'

Bella asks Alistair about nursing while we eat. He's working in paediatric oncology at the moment, so I tune out their chatter. I don't really want to be reminded of Katie's time on that particular ward.

Jasper still hasn't shown up when Alistair announces he needs to get ready for his night shift. Bella slips her phone from her pocket and frowns at the screen. Her thumbs dance across it for a few moments, before she drops it onto the couch.

'Everything okay?' I ask.

She purses her lips in a way that answers for her. 'It's just… Jas says he and Pete are having a quick frothy and that he'll be home in half an hour. But if he's not, it's getting kinda late to be catching the bus by myself.' She sighs and tucks her hands under her thighs. 'And I also don't want to overstay my welcome.'

_As if that were possible_. I swear Jasper is a deadset moron. Why he'd choose Pete's company over Bella is beyond me.

'Stick around,' I say. 'If you want to. And if Jas doesn't get back before you wanna head out, I can drive you.'

'You don't have any plans tonight?' she asks. 'I really don't want to inconvenience you.'

'No plans.' All I was going to do was sit in front of the telly until I was tired enough to sleep.

Bella considers me—and my chest, I might add—for a moment before she nods. 'If you're sure. Thank you.'

'No worries.' Since it looks like we have a bit of time to ourselves, I finally ask the question that's been bugging me for weeks. 'So how do you know Jasper anyway?'

Bella pats the couch beside her. My knees crack as I get to my feet. The space Alistair vacated is still warm, which squicks me out just a little. It's almost like I'm sitting in his lap or something.

'So my mum and Jasper's have been best friends since primary school,' Bella says. I stop thinking about Al's lap and focus on Bella. 'But when Mum was pregnant with me, my family moved to Sydney for Dad's work. So they made it a thing, that every October, the Whitlocks, my family, and a couple of their other friends would go on holidays together.'

I lift my feet onto the coffee table. 'That's cool. Staying in touch like that for so long.'

'Yeah. Mum was so excited when we moved back up here. It was super cute, seeing her and Maria get all emotional about living in the same suburb again.' Bella stabs a piece of chicken, considers it, but then drops her fork into the bowl with a clatter. She sets her bowl on the coffee table. 'I'm _so_ full. So anyway, yeah. It took my parents ages to get pregnant with me, so I'm the youngest of all their friends' kids. Which means I spent every holiday trying to keep up with Jasper and all the other kids.'

I bet that was fucking adorable.

Bella sighs and knits her fingers together in her lap. 'I dunno. I mean, I probably had a crush on Jas since before I even really understood what a crush was.'

Because I'm a masochist, and because I need to be put out of my misery, I say, 'And now, you guys are…' I raise my eyebrows.

Bella wiggles in her seat. She tucks her knees up to her chin and wraps her arms around her shins. She's blushing again, but she also looks really bummed.

'I don't know,' she says. 'I thought things were heading that way. We, uh, messed around a bit a few times. But we'll hang out, and he'll be all affectionate and it seems like he's into me, and then I won't hear from him for over a week.' She blows out a breath. 'It's starting to feel as if… maybe he just likes being liked, you know? Like I'm good for his ego. But just when I think, _fuck it_, he texts or calls and I get my hopes up all over again.' She touches a knuckle to the corner of her eye, then huffs again. 'Sorry. Didn't mean to get all emo on you.'

Feeling awkward about it, I extend my arm along the back of the couch and give her shoulder a careful squeeze. 'It's all good, mate.'

Jasper has to be the dumbest motherfucker on the planet. If Bella were my girl, I'd do basically anything to make sure she never, ever looked the way she does right now because of me.

Bella opens the cabinet under the coffee table. We have a pile of DVDs and a couple of shitty old board games stashed in there. Most of the games are missing pieces, the boxes held together with packing tape. 'You wanna play a game?'

'Sure,' I tell her. 'Anything but Monopoly. I have too many awful childhood memories to ever play that again.'

Bella laughs. 'I think the only people who still want to play Monopoly as adults are the ones responsible for everyone else's awful memories.' She holds up a battered box. 'Trouble?'

* * *

_frothy (or froffy) = beer._


	8. Chapter 8

Bella's pretty subdued as I drive her home. She's got her elbow propped on the windowsill, her head resting in her hand. She directs me towards her house, her voice soft in the darkness that sits between us.

'It's just past the next telegraph pole. Just park on the street behind those bins.'

I oblige, pulling in to the curb by her house.

'My parents' bedroom is at the front of the house,' she murmurs as I yank on the hand brake. 'So headlights go straight through their window.'

'Gotchya.' I look over at her. She makes no move to undo her seatbelt. 'You okay?'

Bella had beaten me three games to one in Trouble, and we had each won a hand of 500, when she started yawning.

'Geez, it's nearly eleven.'

'You need to head home?'

Bella tipped her head to the side and massaged her neck. 'I probably should, yeah. I got up at five to work on an essay before I went to work so I'm pretty wrecked.'

She gathered up her stuff while I grabbed a hoodie and my keys, and we walked outside in time to see Jasper and Pete fall out of some poor bastard's car.

'And _that_ is why I'll never be an Uber driver.' Bella narrowed her eyes as she watched the guys stumble across the front lawn, laughing like a pair of shitfaced hyenas.

Jasper stopped short when he saw Bella. 'Heyyyyy, babe. Sorry I'm late.'

Beside him, Pete cackled. They were both swaying like palm trees in a stiff breeze. I shoved my fists into the pockets of my hoodie.

'Whatever.' Bella's voice was soft, but steady. She gestured towards me. 'Edward's gonna take me home now.'

'Aw, don—don't be like that.' I tensed as Jasper lurched towards her. 'Stay. Hang out.'

'I've been hanging out,' Bella said. 'For the last four hours.'

'I said I was sorry,' Jasper whined. 'We were so fuckin' busy. And then I just needed to unwind a bit.'

'I get it,' Bella said. Jasper is one dumb motherfucker, because he clearly missed the dismissal in her tone. He smiled that dopey smile he always wears when he's three sheets to the wind.

'You're the best, babe.' He reached for her, but Bella stepped to the side. Closer to me.

And then the shithead tried to kiss her. His hands went for her arse and his mouth landed on her cheek as she leaned away and shoved his chest. My ears rang as fury pulsed through me. I grabbed him by the back of the shirt and yanked him away from her. I might've ankle-tapped him as I pushed him towards the house, too. Watching him slam face-first into the grass wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped though. Not with Bella standing there with her arms wrapped around herself looking like she wanted to cry.

As much as I wanted to reach out and hug her, I figured it was probably best I keep my hands to myself for a while. 'Bella?'

'Let's just go,' she said. 'Please.'

'I'm fine,' she says now, but I'm not sure I believe her. 'I'll _be_ fine, anyway.'

Before I can figure out how to respond, she continues. 'No, in a way, it's good. Not good. I mean—I'm glad I saw that side of him now. Glad's not the right word either.' She sighs. 'I'm angry and embarrassed but I also feel like I can see clearly so I guess I'm relieved about that. If any of that makes sense.'

It absolutely makes sense and I tell her so. 'I'm heaps sorry. I didn't—'

'Please don't apologise.' Bella lifts her head from her hand and reaches over to squeeze my forearm. 'I had a really fun time tonight. It's just the ending that sucked, and none of that was your fault.'

My instinct is to argue, to tell her that I should've seen what Jasper was about to do, that I should've got to her quicker, that I should've offered to take her home ten minutes earlier. But I can tell she'll try to reassure me, and I don't want to make this about soothing my ruffled feathers. Right now, it's got to be about her.

So I put my hand over hers, and I say, 'What do you need?'

Bella shakes her head, but there's a ghost of a smile on her lips. 'I don't know. A good night's sleep? A time turner? A few rounds with a punching bag? Honestly, I have no idea.'

'Maybe start with the first one, huh?' I squeeze her hand. 'Come on. I'll walk you in.'


	9. Chapter 9

There's no way I can go home tonight. I've been keeping a lid on my anger, but I know if I set foot through my front door, I'm liable to end up punching Jasper or a hole in my bedroom wall. And while doing either of those things might feel good in the moment, I really don't want to be _that_ guy, the one who thinks hitting something will do anything but damage. The clock on the dash reads _11:25_, so I pull over to send a quick text to our WhatsApp group: _I'm coming over. I've got a key. Just giving you a heads up_.

The porch light is on when I pull into my parents' driveway. Someone obviously got my message, so I don't worry too much about trying to be quiet as I unlock the front door and toe off my shoes.

'We're in here, darling.' My mother's voice floats out from the kitchen. I follow it in to find Katie and Mum sitting at the breakfast table. Katie's nursing a cup of tea while Mum sips what looks like water but is probably gin and tonic.

'Nice flowers.' There's an enormous bouquet of natives—banksia, flannel flower, and some others I don't know the names of—in a big crystal vase in the middle of the table.

I look at Mum, but she just raises her eyebrows and tilts her head towards Katie. My sister is wearing a blush that could rival Bella's and the goofiest smile I've ever seen. And as Katie would say, I have a lot of feelings about this. There was a time when we had no guarantees Katie would make it to adulthood, so seeing her now, healthy and obviously head-over-heels, is really bloody awesome.

'Ah,' I poke the side of my sister's neck, just because I know she hates it. 'Who are they from?'

Katie shoves my hand away. 'Don't touch my neck meat.' She picks up her mug of tea—it's peppermint, I can smell it—and takes a deep drink. Just to piss me off, she makes a really loud 'hhaaa' as she swallows.

Pretending to gag, I hook my ankle around a chair and pull it out so I can sit down. 'Nice deflection.'

I prop my elbows on the table and my chin on my hands, but that reminds me of driving Bella home and how fucking sad she looked, so I fold my arms over my chest and quirk an eyebrow at my sister. She spent months and months in front of the bathroom mirror when we were kids, trying to figure out how to isolate her eyebrows.

Katie pokes her tongue out at me, then crosses one eye. I never did figure out how to do that one. 'Their name is Riley.' She puts the slightest emphasis on the pronoun, and I nod to show her that I understand. Because Katie is a year older than me—fourteen months to be exact—or because she's way smarter and knows it, she took it upon herself to educate me on the diversity of gender and sexual identities when we were in our teens. It often felt like she was lecturing me, and I probably didn't pay as much attention as I should've. In hindsight, though, I'm glad she took the time to help me understand the world a little more clearly.

'How'd you meet them?' My tongue trips a little over 'them.' It does feel a little strange, but I guess it's just a matter of habit.

'How about I tell you that once you've explained what you're doing here at'—she makes a show of checking the time—'almost midnight.'

'It's eleven-thirty,' I say.

'Which is almost midnight, is it not?'

'Children.' Mum rolls her eyes at us, then fixes me with a look that I know all too well. The one that means, 'Start talking, Mister.'

I give them a quick run down of the evening, pausing so they can call Jasper far more imaginative names than I've managed to think up.

When I'm done, Katie ruffles my hair and says, 'You did the right thing, li'l bro.'

That doesn't make me feel any better, and I tell her so.

'I know,' she says. 'But sometimes shit happens and there's literally nothing you can do to just'—she clicks her fingers—'make it better.'

'Katie's right,' Mum says. She finishes her drink and sighs. 'Sometimes all you can do is not make things worse.'


	10. Chapter 10

Once Mum goes to bed, Katie and I raid the parentals' booze cabinet, and she teaches me to mix Negronis while we catch up. I tell her about meeting Bella and her brain injury and how open she is and how easy that makes her to talk to. She finds it absolutely hilarious that Bella forgot my name.

'You poor baby. But good on her for telling you. I would've just faked it.' She sniggers. 'That's what she said.'

'Yeah, maybe we need to slow down on the Negronis.'

'Sure thing, _Dad_.' Katie smirks at me. 'You like, really, really like her.'

I don't bother to deny it. I'm pretty sure I'm too drunk to dissemble. 'Yeah. She's awesome. But…' I sigh and finish my drink. The ice cubes clink against the glass as I set it down.

'But?' Katie immediately swipes my glass and starts making me a refill.

'But, she's had a thing for Jasper since she was a kid. And even if she's angry and hurt, it's not as if she's going to just'—I wave my hand—'get over him.'

Katie shrugs. 'Give her some time. But stay on her peli–periph–_shit_. Don't drop off her radar.'

'Right.'

She pats my hand. 'You're sort of a decent catch,' she says. 'Bella will figure that out.'

I make a face at her. 'Thanks a lot.'

Katie then tells me about meeting Riley at the fan dancing class her friend, Bree, dragged her along to.

'They're doing a law degree,' she says. 'That's hot, right?'

'Sure.'

I notice that Katie, too, trips over 'they' a little, and when I ask her about it, she nods. 'Yeah, it takes a bit of time to get used to, huh? But like, so what? What's harder, having to choose your words more carefully, or have someone basically ignore your gender identity because they don't want to learn a new way of speaking? Pass me the Campari, would you?'

'How'd you get so smart?' I ask her.

She answers me by singing, 'I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way.' My sister is good at a lot of things, but singing is not one of them. I shush her before she can wake Dad. He hates it when she drinks.

'So, fan dancing?'

Katie giggles. 'Holy shit, Ned.' She's well on the way to wasted if she's busting out my childhood nickname. 'It's so much fun.'

She explains that it's a burlesque dancing class using fans made of ostrich feathers. I have literally no clue what she's talking about, so she grabs a couple of Dad's camping magazines and tries to demonstrate. Honestly, it doesn't help. But it doesn't really matter. What I do understand is that Katie's happy, really happy, both with the feather fans and getting to know Riley.

When Katie finally drops the magazines, she demands I pull up Instagram on my phone so I can watch the videos she posted of her last class.

'You're a lot more graceful sober,' I tell her. I think the dancing is supposed to be sexy, teasing the audience with little peeks of what's behind the fans. But 'sexy' is not a word I'll ever associate with my sister. And I'll never in a million years tell her this, but with her long, thin legs and pale skin, she does sort of remind me of an ostrich. It could just be the feathers and my inebriation, though.

Katie scoffs and flips me off, before directing me to Riley's account so I can see what they look like. They're cute, and exactly what I imagine Katie's type to be, with eyeliner 'on point,' thick-framed glasses, and silver hair.

'Oh, Em Geeee.' Katie looks at me wide-eyed. 'Find Bella. I wanna see!'

I sigh, kind of annoyed that I didn't think of doing this weeks ago. 'Fine.'

But as it turns out, Bella's account is set to private. Katie tries to get me to follow her, but I tell her that I'm not going to click follow at three a.m. Not after the night Bella's had.

'Let me at least do it at a time when it doesn't look like I'm drunkenly stalking her account, yeah?'

Katie acquiesces with a sigh, and with that, we decide it's bedtime. Katie puts away the grog while I stack our glasses in the dishwasher, and then she follows me into what used to be my bedroom, but is now the 'guest room.' She crawls in beside me, just like she used to when we were little.

'Don't hog the doona,' she says, then yawns widely. 'I always get cold when I sleep with you.'

'I mean, you _could_ go sleep in your own bed.'

She makes a 'psshh' noise. 'No way. This might be the last time we get to do this.'

I tug the doona over a little. 'You said that the last two times I slept here.'

'I know,' she says. 'And one day it will be true.' She yawns again, which makes me yawn. The alcohol and the stress of the evening press down on me, making my whole body feel leaden. I'm exhausted on every level: physically, mentally, emotionally.

But then, randomly—and probably inappropriately—I remember the look on Bella's face when I opened the door to her earlier tonight. And I know it's way too soon, and that I'm probably the last thing on her mind right now, but a little spark of hope flickers warm in my chest.

Beside me, Katie groans and yanks the covers back towards her side of the bed.

I reach out and flick off the bedside lamp. 'G'night, Katie-cakes.'

'Night, Ned.'

* * *

_doona = comforter/duvet/bedspread_


	11. Chapter 11

I wake surprisingly clear-headed. I mean, I have a killer headache and my mouth tastes like I spent the night chewing on a mouldy orange peel, but I'm feeling pretty calm. After I've chugged a cup of coffee, I sit down with Mum and we go over the tenancy agreement Jasper signed.

'Now, he only signed for an initial three month lease period, anyway. So that will be up in'—she checks the calendar—'about three and a half weeks.'

'Right.' I drum my fingers on the table. I'm not loving the idea of having him around for that long, even if I do hardly ever see him.

'However, there is a clause in here which allows us to terminate the agreement early in the case of antisocial behaviour.' Mum frowns at the paperwork in front of her. 'He could, of course, challenge that, which would mean having to go to the tribunal.'

'Why's that?'

Mum steeples her fingers beneath her chin. 'Well, should he choose to challenge it, we might have difficulty simply because there's no police report or any official documentation. It would come down to your word against his—and Bella's, I suppose, if she were willing.' Mum purses her lips, considering. 'But I can't imagine he would try to challenge it, really. Not if we return his bond and any rent he's paid in advance. Unless he was trying to be deliberately painful, and it's a rather expensive way to go about being a thorn in your side.' She gathers up her papers and slides them back into their slot in her accordion file. I usually tease her about still needing paper copies of documents, but I'm too preoccupied today.

'You make the call,' she says. 'Wait out the rest of the three months, or tell him to move out tonight. We'll back your decision.'

'Thanks, Mum.' I kind of want to talk to Bella about it, but short of turning up on her doorstep, I don't really have a way of getting in touch with her. Plus, I'm not sure it's fair to burden her with this when she's probably got enough to think about right now.

'What do you think I should do?'

'Kick his arse to the curb.' Katie's voice floats in from the living room where she and Dad are watching the WBBL.

I ignore Katie and look at my mother. She frowns as she considers the question.

Before she can formulate an answer, I say, 'I feel like people are going to tell me it's not that big a deal. It was just a kiss, he was drunk, he's harmless, it didn't mean anything, they've hooked up before so he probably thought she wanted him to. But I just…' I shove my hair back from my face. 'It doesn't sit right. It feels like… Like if I don't _do_ anything, then I'm saying it was okay.'

Mum makes an 'mmm' noise, but waits for me to finish.

'And not just for Jasper, for what he did. It feels like if I let him stay then I'd be sending a message to Bella, and to Pete, and anyone else who hears about it, that what he did was okay, and that feels… gross.'

'You're a good egg, Ned,' Katie says from the doorway. She musses up my hair as she comes to sit down beside me. 'And you're right. The message you send if you let him stay is that men are allowed to assault women on your property.'

I cringe at the word. _Assault_. It feels big and scary.

Katie notices my reaction. 'I know. But kissing someone against their will is indecent assault.'

'Even if he only managed to get her cheek, and it was only a few seconds before I pulled him away?'

'Even then. And the thing is, stuff like this happens a lot, and it gets downplayed _a lot_. It's no big deal, he was drunk, they've been hooking up so he thought it was okay… and even Bella might want to say it's not a massive deal, I don't know. And if she does'—Katie points a finger at me—'it's not your job to convince her otherwise.'

'All right,' I say.

'But I think you're doing the right thing.' Katie leans towards me and puts her hand on my knee. She gives it a little shake. 'If you just sweep it under the carpet and ignore it, then you normalise this as something women just have to put up with.'

'What are we talking about?' My dad wanders in, scratching his stomach. He's got some ugly, patchy thing happening on his top lip. I mean, props to him, Movember's a good cause, but the old man couldn't grow a respectable 'stache to save his life.

'Kicking Jasper out of Edward's place,' Katie says.

'Oh.' Dad pulls a mug from the cupboard and switches the kettle on. 'And why are we doing that?'

'Because he tried to kiss Bella when she obviously didn't want him to.' Katie folds her arms over her chest and raises her eyebrows at me. I sigh, because I know what's about to unfold.

'Was it obvious to Jasper?' Dad asks. He opens the pantry door. 'Esme, where's the sugar?'

'Right in front of you,' Mum says. 'Between the teabags and the biscuit tin.'

Katie rolls her eyes. 'He knew she was mad at him, right?' She looks at me and I nod.

'Yeah, she shoved him away. And,' I add, 'she was pretty upset after.'

'Hmm,' Dad says. 'This "Me, Too" thing is getting a bit out of control, isn't it? Are men supposed to ask permission for every kiss now?' He looks at Mum. 'Do I have to ask every time I want to kiss you?'

Mum's fingers go to her temples. The veins in Katie's neck darken and grow prominent. I get to my feet. I mess up Katie's hair and kiss my mother's cheek. 'I'm out.'

'Bye, sweetheart.' Mum looks completely miserable as she watches Dad stir his tea. As is typical, he's oblivious to the outrage emanating from Katie.

As I shove my feet into my shoes, I hear Katie say, 'So you think any guy on the street has the right to grab me and kiss me whenever he wants then?'

'That's not really the same thing, is it?' Dad says, and I can hear the genuine confusion in his voice.

I know it's kind of a dick move, leaving now, but I just don't have it in me. Katie's right; I know it, Mum knows it. But Dad… who knows if he'll ever be able to see past 'just how things are' to how they could—and _should_—be.

* * *

_WBBL = Women's Big Bash League (Cricket). Ned is a pretty common nickname for Edward._


	12. Chapter 12

**Extra speedy update purely so I can say this: **

**Yo, this isn't beta-ed or even pre-read. It's free fanfiction I'm writing in the small amount of spare time I have, because I know being creative is good for my mental health. As such, there are gonna be mistakes. If you see one, feel free to let me know; I've got no issues at all taking corrections. Constructive criticism is both welcome and necessary. **

**HOWEVER... To the 'anonymous' person who felt the need to tell me my stories are boring: Fuck off. Seriously. I'm just gonna keep deleting your crap. (And let's be real, I know who you are. Do you still have nothing better to do? It's been fucking years, champ.)**

* * *

I don't see Bella for close to two weeks. I lob a ball into her court and wait.

And wait.

And then she's there, standing outside my classroom when we get out for lunch. She pretty much launches herself at me, throws her arms around my waist and squeezes so hard I almost feel winded. Although, it could partly be the pure, breath-catching elation I feel at seeing her again. I rub her back gently and, when she makes no move to let go of me, I press a careful kiss to her forehead. And _fuck me_, I could really get used to this, Bella in my arms and my lips against her skin.

When she finally pulls back, she grins up at me. 'Next time you send a girl flowers, it would be a great idea to put your number in the card, okay?'

She's still got one arm hooked around my waist and it takes me a moment to gather my wits. 'I'll remember that.' I had considered it, but I didn't want her to feel like she owed me anything. I had just wanted her to know she was on my mind.

'Thank you, by the way. They were beautiful. I love native flora'

I smile down at her. 'I'm glad you liked them.' Native flowers seemed like less of an overtly romantic gesture than something like roses, so I got Mum to send me a photo of the florist's sticker on the bouquet Riley had sent Katie.

A ute rumbles towards us and I put my hand on Bella's lower back as we move out of the way and onto the footpath. The driver taps the horn and a couple of the guys hanging out the windows give us a wave as they head off for lunch. I ignore the very audible, 'Damn, Cullen's got game.' Either Bella doesn't hear it or she chooses to ignore it, too.

'It's good to see you,' I tell Bella. 'How're you doing?'

'Pretty good.' She licks her lips and squints up at me. The sun is fierce today; I can already feel the back of my neck burning and sweat gathering in my armpits and behind my knees. I'm glad she hugged me when I'd just come out of the air conditioning and not now, when I might be starting to stink.

'Are you going over to the cafeteria for lunch?'

'Uh, I brought stuff from home,' I say. 'But I can eat it wherever, if you need to buy something?'

She nods. 'I could really use a coffee.' She shades her eyes with a hand. 'Also, air conditioning.'

As we head across the grass, walking a looping path to avoid both the sprinklers and the plovers, Bella says, 'So, I heard you gave Jasper the boot.'

I can't tell how she feels about that from her tone; she doesn't _seem_ mad.

'Sort of? I mean, I told him we wouldn't be renewing his lease. And… I also said I'd refund any rent he'd already paid if he wanted to leave earlier. So, uh, he's moving out this weekend.'

'How'd he take that?'

I shove my fingers through my hair and adjust my backpack on my shoulders. 'He wasn't super happy with me.' I shrug. That's putting it mildly. He had made all the excuses I'd expected: he was drunk, they'd been hooking up so he thought she wanted it, he didn't realise how mad she was. He said some shitty things about me judging him for 'one lapse in character.' He also called out my apparently-obvious crush on Bella as the real reason I was trying to get rid of him. And as much as I insisted it wouldn't have mattered if it were Bella or any other girl—or guy for that matter—there was a part of me that couldn't help wonder if he was right.

'He thinks I'm being unreasonable, but I don't really give a shit.' I do, however, give a shit about what Bella thinks of the whole debacle.

'You didn't have to do that on my account, you know.' Bella pulls open the door to the cafeteria and waves me in. She heads towards the counter and I follow her. Worry dribbles into my stomach. Is she pissed off with me? I'm convinced I did the right thing, but it will suck if she's upset.

Bella pulls a reusable cup from her bag. I wait until she's ordered and paid for her latte before I say, 'I just couldn't—I don't want to live with, or be mates with, someone who can't respect other people's boundaries.'

Bella doesn't say anything, so I keep going. 'I'm not—I don't want to tell you how to feel about it or anything. That's not…' I blow out a breath, frustrated by my lack of eloquence. 'He crossed a line. For me, I personally can't—_won't_—tolerate that.'

The barista calls Bella's name and she collects her coffee before heading towards the same table we sat at last time we were here together. I trail behind her, the lightness I felt when I first saw her outside my class ebbing away. But then I remember the way she threw herself at me. She already knew what had gone down with Jasper when she hugged the breath out of me. She mustn't hate me completely.

I watch the plovers and their chicks while I wait for Bella to speak. The fluff balls are getting a bit bigger, and braver, venturing further away from their overprotective parents.

'I do appreciate that,' Bella says, eventually. She takes the lid off her coffee cup and inspects the foam. It must meet her standards because she takes a sip. She doesn't 'hhaaa,' but she does sigh in what I think is contentment. 'At first I thought it was—well, Jasper made me feel awful about it, to be honest. Like it was my fault. I guess he thought I'd asked you to get rid of him.'

_Motherfucking dickhead._

Bella holds up her hand, silently asking me not to interrupt her. 'So I was upset. But then I got really angry. Like, _I_ didn't do anything wrong, so why was I being made to feel like the bad guy? Jasper acts like a dick, and it's my fault he's copping some consequences for it? Fuck that.' She sips her coffee again. When she brings a thumb to her temple, I notice the dark circles beneath her eyes.

She looks up and gives me a small smile. 'So after that, I started feeling… grateful, I guess. That I do have friends who _will_ draw that line and hold their mates accountable when they cross it.' Her gaze drifts out over the grass before she drags it back and meets my eyes. 'Thank you.'

I just nod, because saying 'You're welcome' in this situation seems too weird.

'And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to come and find you,' she says. 'I would've come last week but I had a massive assignment due.' She chuckles. 'I mean, I could've just slid on into your DM's or something, but I wanted to talk to you in person.'

'Yeah, well.' I say. 'I probably could've slid into yours, too, but I didn't want you to think I was being sleazy.'

Bella digs her phone out of her bag, unlocks it, and hands it to me. 'Let's make life a lot easier for ourselves.'

I dial my number, then hang up as soon as I feel my phone vibrate against my thigh. 'Done.' We're both silent as we save each other into our contacts. I watch Bella toss her phone back into her bag and something dawns on me. She's got a handbag, not a backpack, and she doesn't have any books or folders with her.

'Do you not have class today?'

Bella shakes her head. 'Handed in my last assignment on Friday. I'm on holidays until next February.' She holds her hand up for a high five and I slap it gently, still thinking.

'You came in just to see me?'

Bella lifts her eyebrows. 'Yup.'

'But… You don't drive, do you?'

She tips her head to the side. She's wearing her hair loose today, and it swings over her shoulder, the sunlight turning the sun-bleached strands to gold.

'How'd you know that?'

'You caught the bus over to our place after work. And the time before that you got a ride with someone else. So I just figured…' I look at the Keep Cup in front of her. 'Is it an environmentally conscious choice?'

Bella scrunches her nose up in that way she does. 'Actually, no. It's a "I had a brain injury at sixteen and no one wanted to let me behind the wheel" _lack_ of choice.'

_Shit_. 'I'm so so—' Bella presses her fingers to my lips, trapping my apology.

'Don't apologise. I'm not mad. I've been cleared by my doctor and I got my L's last year. I'm just finding it hard to get enough hours in.'

I wrap my fingers around her wrist and gently tug her hand away from my mouth.

'Bella, if you're not here for class… Do you wanna take off?'

She frowns. 'Don't _you_ have class?'

I get to my feet and scoop up my backpack. 'I haven't missed one all year. Let's go.'

* * *

_Ute = pick-up truck; L's = Learner's Licence (You've gotta log 120 hours of experience with a fully licenced driver beside you, over at least a 12 month period). _


	13. Chapter 13

As soon as Bella is buckled into the passenger seat, she starts dicking around with the radio. She flicks through all the preset stations before she spies the shitty old iPod in the ashtray. 'This is basically vintage,' she says, switching it on and scrolling through the playlists.

I chuckle. She's not wrong; it was old when I bought it. 'It was my sister's,' I say. 'I saved up and bought it off eBay so she had some music to listen to while she was in hospital. It was the newest one I could afford.' I don't think I'll ever forget Katie's excitement when I handed it to her, already loaded with her favourite music, plus some of the stuff I was listening to that I thought she might like. Dad had been really ticked off about it—he has this weird thing against people wearing headphones, thinks it's antisocial or something.

'She doesn't need it now, obviously, so I figured it's a good one to keep in the car. No one's smashing my window to steal that.'

Bella smiles. 'You're quite the sweetheart, aren't you?'

I shake my head and roll down the window as Fleet Foxes' 'Montezuma' starts to play. I'd completely forgotten _Helplessness Blues_ existed.

'What's your sister's name?'

'Katie.'

'And she's… younger than you?'

'Fourteen months older.'

'Yikes. That must've been fun for your mum.'

I chuckle. 'Well, there's only the two of us. Clearly I put Mum off from going back for more.'

Bella props her feet up on the dash. My instinct is to tell her that it's dangerous, that her legs could get smashed up if we have an accident and the airbag gets deployed. But I figure she's an adult, and can make her own decisions. Plus, I'm not complaining about the view.

'So where are we going?'

'No idea.' I'd simply started heading towards home, with no real thoughts beyond getting off campus. 'Any suggestions?'

'We could go to the beach?'

'Sure.' There at least a dozen beaches between here and home, so I ask her which one is her favourite.

'Ooh, tough question,' she says. 'It really depends on the conditions and what I want to do there, you know? Like the best surfing beaches aren't necessarily the ones I go to if I'm going for a run. And my favourite swimming beach is also the one most likely to be swarmed by bluebottles.'

We decide to just head to the beach closest to home, which Bella tells me is one of her favourites for walking. 'Especially at sunrise. And plus, it's really sheltered,' she adds, 'so it's also the best to surf when everywhere else gets too big.' She tells me she's lost a lot of confidence in the surf since her accident, and it's something she struggles with.

'I used to be proud of being this spontaneous and laid back person, you know? When people called me a "free spirit," it made me feel good. Probably a bit smug, too, if I'm being completely honest. But now… I'm different.' Bella crosses her feet at the ankles. The ruffly, floral skirt she's wearing slips up a little, revealing even more tanned and toned thigh. I give myself a mental shake and remind myself to keep my eyes on the road and my mind on what she's saying.

'It was hard enough realising my brain didn't work quite the same way anymore. Things that used to be easy for me were suddenly really difficult. It was so frustrating. It still is, really. My balance is nothing on what it used to be. Studying is so much more work than it was before. I've had to learn all these strategies and tricks to help me remember things.'

'That sounds really difficult,' I say. She also seems pretty incredible. The more she talks, the more I see just how strong she is, how resilient she's had to be. And the more I get to know her, the more I like her.

_I could fall in love with Bella_, I realise. Which is ridiculous, because we've only hung out a handful of times. But still… I'm kind of looking forward to it.

'It's been tough. But realising that parts of my personality had changed, too? That like, some of the traits that I thought defined me were gone? That was way harder to come to terms with.'

I glance over at her. Her eyes are closed and little creases line her forehead.

'I'm not as brave as I used to be. I definitely don't take as many risks. And I'm not as social either, because I get anxious about forgetting someone's name or if I've met them before.' She sighs. 'I guess I complain a lot more, too.'

I chew over my words for a moment, trying to make sure I get them right. 'I don't say this to, I guess, diminish how hard going through all of that must've been…'

Bella opens her eyes and watches me intently. It makes me nervous and the carefully chosen words come tumbling out in a rush.

'I know I haven't known you heaps long, but I think who you are now is pretty fucking awesome.'

Bella tips her head back, a smile playing on her lips. 'That's sweet of you to say.'

We're quiet then, only the soft folk music swirling through the space between us until we arrive at the beach and I nose the car into a free parking space. As I shut the engine off, Bella elbows me gently and says, 'I think you're pretty awesome, too. Just so you know.'

* * *

_For those who've asked about it, single quotation marks are standard dialogue punctuation in Commonwealth English. _


	14. Chapter 14

It's one of those perfect late-Spring afternoons, the kind we're seeing less and less of as the climate changes. The sky so blue it's impossible to tell where the ocean ends and it begins. A faint nor'easterly breeze ruffling the red and yellow flags and taking enough heat out of the day to make it enjoyable.

Bella pulls a tube of sunscreen out of her bag and makes me apply it to my face and neck before she follows her own advice.

'You got an Undetectable Extension Charm on that or something?' I ask, watching as she pulls her sunglasses from her bag, tosses the sunblock back in, and then stashes it carefully under the passenger seat of my car.

'I wish,' she says with a grin. 'Then I'd have my cosies and a towel.' She tugs the band of her skirt away from her hip and peers down. 'Ah, well. At least they won't go see-through. Come on, ya nerd.'

I follow her down onto the beach. The tide is in, which means the sand beneath our feet is soft and shifting. We've only been walking a few minutes when my calf muscles start having a sook about the effort they're exerting.

Whether it's because the beach is her happy place or because of our sort-of declarations in the car, Bella is cheerful and chatty, and I soak up the sound of her voice as we walk. I notice, though, that's she's pretty wary of dogs. Whenever one that's not on a leash approaches, she steps behind me.

'Not a fan of dogs?' I ask, after the third time it happens.

'I actually love them. They're just a bit unpredictable.' She bends down to pick up a shell. She slips it into my pocket and keeps walking. 'Not long after I got out of hospital I went for a walk, like, by myself for the first time. And this stupid dog just came out of nowehere and started jumping all over me. It was pretty big and I got knocked over.' She adds another shell to my pocket. It takes me a second to realise her skirt probably doesn't have a place for her to stash them.

'It was kinda scary. I'd fallen over heaps since the accident. No joke, probably hundreds of times. Sometimes it felt like I spent more time on my bum than on my feet. But it was the first time that it wasn't in a controlled environment, you know? And the lady whose dog it was—she was horrible. Started scolding me like I was some dumb kid, telling me the dog was just being friendly and what did I expect because it was the off-leash section of the beach.'

'That sucks.' I spot a rust-coloured scallop shell and add it to the collection Bella is building in my pocket.

'Yeah. I ended up going home in tears.' She shrugs, her lips twisting in embarrassment. 'And since then, I've just been a bit leery of them.'

'Fair enough.' I watch Bella as she squats down to sift through some more shells. None of them take her fancy this time.

Her willingness to share her vulnerabilities, her fears and failures, I realise, is part of what makes her so extraordinary. She doesn't bluster or get defensive or make excuses. She owns her weaknesses, and paradoxically, it shows her strength.

I notice a particularly pink pipi shell and add it to my pocket. Bella's fingers brush against mine as she moves past me. I'd love to grab her hand, but it feels too soon.

'So, uni holidays, huh?'

'Yup.' She grins and twirls on the sand. 'Freedom. Kind of.'

'Gotta keep working for Ronald?'

'Ronald? Oh, haha. Well, I'm only there Tuesday and Friday. Now that I don't have uni, I'll do OOSH care the other days, and then vacation care when school breaks up.'

'Ooshcare?'

Outside of school hours. Before and after school care.'

'Gotchya.'

An older guy jogging in his dick-stickers shakes his head as he passes Bella. Puzzled, I look at her. _What's up his arse?_

And then I notice her t-shirt. How I didn't register it before is beyond me. It's white, with red writing that gets smaller with each line:

_no way  
__get fucked  
__fuck off_

I chuckle. 'Well, that's appropriate.'

Bella looks down at her chest and shrugs. 'Oh. I wasn't feeling very social earlier. Wait—what do you mean?'

'Until a few hours ago, I was wondering if I was ever gonna see your face again.'

Bella laughs. 'Oh, right.' She sings the line, 'Am I ever gonna see your face again?'

I join her for the response: 'No way! Get fucked! Fuck off!'

An older couple walking a dachshund in the opposite direction give us disapproving looks but Bella just shrugs and jerks her thumb in my direction like, 'Can you believe this guy?'

'Bella, I gotta stop for a minute.' My calves are screaming at me.

'Wh—oh.' Bella giggles when she sees me trying to stretch out the muscles in my legs. 'I'm sorry. You should've said something sooner.'

'I didn't realise you were planning on walking a half-marathon,' I grumble. I wink at her to show her that I'm not actually bothered.

'Here. Sit down for a bit.' We move up the beach to where the sand is drier, though no more firm. Bella grabs the ball of my foot and pushes against it until I feel the stretch in my calf. I groan.

'Too much?'

'Nah. That feels awesome.'

She smiles and flips her sunglasses up on top of her head. 'Sorry,' she says again.

I wave her apology away. 'All good, mate.' She switches to my other foot and I ask, 'You run, right? On the beach?'

She nods, her attention trained on my leg. 'Mmm-hmm. I used to do surf IronWoman events, so surf ski, swim, board paddle, run. But after the TBI I was, uh, encouraged to stay out of the water for a while, and I'd lost a lot of confidence anyway, so I started focusing on running events. Now I just do flags and sprints.'

'Flags?'

'Yeah, beach flags? You know the races where you all start lying down facing away from the flag and then on the whistle you have to get up and sprint to get to the flag first? It's not actually a flag, though,' she adds. 'Just a bit of garden hose.'

'Hose? Is it your lot who are responsible for my hose shrinking then?' I'm joking, of course. The dickhead who keeps cutting off sections of my garden hose is definitely not using it for something athletic.

Bella cracks up, and it feels so fucking good, being able to make her laugh.

'I thought the flag thing was just a game they played at Nippers,' I say. 'I didn't realise it was competitive.'

'Oh, yeah. We do it in Opens. Masters do it, too, actually.'

'Well that explains that.' I say it without thinking and Bella cocks her head at me.

'Sorry?'

'Uh.' I rub the back of my neck. My ears are burning. 'You just have like, epic muscle definition in your legs. I figured you must've been a runner.'

'Oh.' Bella looks at her own legs and shrugs. 'I guess. Sand sprints will do that.' She pats my ankle. 'Speaking of.'

I groan. 'Can't we just wait 'til the tide goes out?'

Bella laughs. 'It's still an hour off full high tide. We'll be here until dark.'

'I'm fine with that,' I joke. 'Reckon we've got Deliveroo coverage here?'

'You know the only way to make it easier?'

'No, but something tells me I'm not going to like whatever you say next.'

'If we run, it'll be over quicker.'

'I knew I wouldn't like it.'

By the time we get back to where we started, I'm out of breath and absolutely soaked. My shirt sticks to my back and chest as I suck in huge lungfuls of air. Sweat drips down my forehead, stinging my eyes. It's disgusting.

Bella, who's pink-cheeked and seems only slightly puffed, pulls off her shirt and her skirt, and runs straight into the ocean in her sports bra and undies. Thankful that I wore boxers today, I drop my sweat soaked clothes onto the sand and follow her in.

* * *

_cosies = swimsuit; sook = whinge/whine (it can function as a verb or a noun, e.g. 'don't sook,' vs. 'don't be such a sook'); dick-stickers = Speedos; Nippers = junior surf lifesaving_.

_Thanks heaps for all the kind words. Sorry I suck at replying to your reviews. xo_


	15. Chapter 15

'You better not be watching porn on my worksite, Cullen.' Mick guffaws at his own joke.

'Yeah, you're heaps funny, Mick.' I roll my eyes and try to wipe the grin off my face, but I'm pretty sure I don't succeed.

Mick looks over my shoulder. If it were anyone else, I'd be pissed off at their lack of respect for my personal space. But I've seen Mick trying to use his phone and there's no way he can make out anything on my screen without his reading glasses on.

'Are you playing one of them dumb games? That Clash of Clans bullshit? My kid spends fucken hours at a time playing that.'

'Nah, I'm texting a girl,' I say.

'Yeah, nice,' Mick says. I don't think he registers what I said, because he doesn't give me shit about it. Instead, he keeps going on about how his son spends every waking hour glued to his phone and how he thinks the kid might have a gaming addiction but whenever he tries to bring it up with his wife she tells him the boy has social anxiety and at least he has friends online because he doesn't have many at school. I nod and say 'yeah, right' every now and then, because even though I know Tyler, and do actually feel bad for the kid, most of my attention is on the conversation I'm having with Bella.

_Bella: Hope your morning is going better than mine did. I had to break up a booger fight. Yes, it was exactly what is sounds like._

_Edward: In the restaurant? That's gross._

_Bella: lol, no. I swapped shifts with someone so I'm OOSHing today. _

_Edward: Ok. Well, still disgusting. _

_Bella: I nearly threw up. Thankfully I didn't, because guess who would've had to clean that up? _

_Bella: And now that I've introduced both snot and vomit to our conversation, how are you? _

We've been texting back and forth all week, ever since Bella messaged me to ask how the muscles in my legs were feeling the morning after our run. (Spoiler: They were really fucking sore, but I didn't die.) I've never been one to spend a lot of time on my phone or computer, and the only social media accounts I have are the ones Katie insisted on 'helping' me set up. So it's a bit strange, finding myself looking forward to the chime of a message, or waiting for the notification to tell me Bella's 'liked' a picture I put on Instagram.

_Edward: I'm ok. Building a staircase and trying to keep out of the plumber's way._

_Bella: Are there tradie factions or something? Plumbers vs. carpenters, painters vs. sparkies, etc?_

_Edward: lol, no. The guy on this job never shuts up and we're already a week behind so we've been told to steer clear. _

_Bella: Right. Well, while you're out there being all practical and stuff, I learnt that a Pacific Octopus has three hearts, nine brains, and blue blood._

_Edward: Can't decide if that's awesome or disturbing. Why you studying octopi?_

_Bella: I've been reliably informed the plural is octopodes. One of the girls in OOSH this morning is totally obsessed. _

_Edward: Again, the line between awesome and disturbing is a little blurry._

_Bella: She wants to train an army of them to disassemble submarines. I'm going with AWESOME._

_Edward: That's hilarious. Hey, I gotta go, but you wanna grab a beer after you finish?_

_Bella: Yes! Beer is exactly what I'll need by then. Actually if the booger kids are back this arvo, I'll need vodka. Lots and lots of vodka. _

_Edward: haha. What time you knock off?_

_Bella: Be done about 6:30. Can meet you at the Beery after 7?_

_Edward: Want me to pick you up?_

_Bella: If it's no trouble, that'd be great. If not, Dad can drop me off._

_Edward: I'll be at yours at 7._

_Bella: Perfect. Thanks. xo_

I shove my phone back into my pocket just as the foreman, Ben, calls out, 'Smoko's over. Let's get back to it.'

* * *

_Octopus comes from the Greek so the plural *should* be octopodes. Anglicising it to octopuses is perfectly acceptable. Octopi is just wrong – 'i' plurals come from Latin. There. That's a thing you now know._

_P.S. 'Anonymous,' fUc,k oFf._


	16. Chapter 16

Parking near the Beery is a shitfest at the best of times; tonight, it's ridiculous. After we've looped around the block twice looking for a free space, Bella points out the hordes of people queued at the front doors. 'There must be a gig on or something. We could go somewhere else, if you want? Somewhere a bit quieter.'

'Sounds good.' I'm pretty chuffed when she suggests we head to the new wine bar above the old post office. It feels like a step away from 'hangout' territory towards something a bit more like a date.

'I didn't even know that was open yet.' One of the guys I'm at TAFE with did a bit of work on the site, but I haven't caught up with him in a while.

'I think they're keeping it quiet for a bit,' Bella says. 'One of my friends knows one of the dishies there. I think she said they didn't want to get too busy until they had everyone trained up properly, so they're just letting it build up by word of mouth for now.'

'Nice.'

La Poste _is_ nice. Whoever did the lighting did a great job, because it manages to be low-lit and intimate without making you feel like you need to whip out a torch to read the menu or see your date's face. I point this out to Bella once we've been seated in a booth and she nods.

'Totally. The acoustics are bang on, too. Listen.'

She's right. The music is soft and jazzy, audible over the murmur of conversation without drowning it out.

A heavily tattooed girl, who introduces herself as Lauren, rattles off the 'cocktails du jour' and then, when it's clear neither Bella or I are ready to order, disappears to get us some water and 'housemade' pretzels.

Bella sighs and covers her eyes with a hand.

'You okay over there?'

'Yeah, just frustrated.' She drops her hand and does one of her cute as fuck nose scrunches. 'Can you remember what she said? I think I liked the sound of the first one, but by the time she finished, I forgot what it was called.'

'She did speak like, crazy fast,' I say. 'Was that the one with gin and violets?'

'Yes! It had crème de violette in it.'

'I think it was called a Fairy Fizz?'

'Oh, you're the best.' Bella beams at me and honestly, it makes me feel kind of dizzy, having the full force of her delight focused on me.

Lauren saves me from trying to figure out how to respond by returning with a carafe of water and some glasses. We order our cocktails and decide to take a gamble on the chef's 'Feed Me' menu. By the time she walks away, I'm feeling slightly less overwhelmed.

'I could _not _waitress,' Bella says. 'It's been hard enough when I've had carloads of drunk chicks in the Drive-Thru. They all hang out the windows and talk over each other and I invariably end up fucking their orders up.' She snickers. 'At least they're usually too smashed to care that they got a Cheeseburger instead of a McChicken.'

'I remember you said you had to learn strategies to help you remember things,' I say. 'What kinds of things help?'

Bella smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. She's wearing one of those cute all-in-one things girls are into at the moment, and the soft yellow colour really suits her.

'It depends what I'm trying to remember. I'll have to remember a lot of names once I'm teaching, so OOSH care is good practice for that. With kids I see regularly, I make up little mnemonics to help me.'

'Ne-what?'

'Mnemonics. It's just a fancy word for a memory device. Like how people say "Never Eat Soggy Weet-Bix" to remember North, East, South, West?'

'Oh, yep.'

Bella takes a sip of the lilac-coloured drink I don't even remember being delivered to the table. Sure enough, though, a Manhattan sits by my right hand, condensation sliding down the glass and pooling on the timber. I take a sip and wait for Bella to continue.

'So, there's this one girl called Mary and she's super clever. Seriously. She's a little genius. So in my head, I started calling her "the Diction-Mary."'

I have to smile at that. Bella's mind might cause her a lot of frustration, but it's also utterly fascinating.

'And, like, Alistair, right? When I met him for the first time, someone told me he was a nurse. So I remembered by thinking, "If _Alice_ falls down the _stairs_ to Wonderland, nurse Alistair can help her." It's ridiculous, I know, but it helps.'

'It's not ridiculous,' I say. 'I think it's amazing. You're amazing.'

Bella shakes her head at me. 'I've just had to adapt.' She slides her finger through the condensation on her glass and sighs. 'If I can, I try to use someone's name at least three times when I meet them. That really helps. And there are other ways I can compensate, too. Like I've figured out that a few degrees of extra enthusiasm helps. If I hug people or kiss their cheeks and tell them it's really great to see them again, they're less fazed when I have to ask them to remind me of their names.' I nod, remembering how I watched her work her way through Jasper's rent-a-crowd in my backyard. She had made it look so easy, but in reality, it has to have been quite a challenge.

I use my foot to feel around under the table until I bump Bella's sandal. When she looks up at me, I hook one of her ankles between both of mine. 'Like I said. Amazing.'

I tug her ankle when she shakes her head.

'You are. You're heaps thoughtful. It would be totally understandable if you just said, "Look, I've had a brain injury," and just did what you've gotta do to get by. No one could fault you for that. But you don't. You go out of your way to make people feel good, so you don't hurt their feelings if you can't remember their name. And you do all these things to try to remember. You don't need to do that. But you _choose_ to, because you know it matters to people and you care about them. That makes you more than amazing, Bella. It makes you really fucking special.'

Bella pulls her foot from mine and stands up. For a moment, I think I've fucked this up royally. But then she drops onto the seat beside me and grabs a fistful of my shirt.

'Couldn't do this over there,' she says, and then yanks me forward so she can kiss the everloving shit out of me.


	17. Chapter 17

Bella's kissing me.

I'm kissing Bella.

Her lips part and her tongue slides against mine and I feel the tug deep in my belly. _Holy shit_. This is so much better than I imagined.

As much as I want to wind my fingers into her hair and anchor her mouth against mine for the next few hours, this really isn't the appropriate location for a full on make-out session. So when she pulls away, I don't stop her. I do put my hand on her thigh, though, to keep her from returning to her side of the booth. She grins, and reaches across the table for her drink.

I sip mine, barely tasting it.

Bella kissed me.

For a few minutes, we just sit there, smiling at each other like a pair of morons. Until Lauren, the speed-talking waitress, appears with our oysters and 'roe boats'—which look like some sort of crispy fried potato thing topped with salmon roe.

'Enjoy.' Lauren smirks at us, so I assume she understands that we're not particularly focused on food right now.

Bella clears her throat and settles her napkin on her lap.

'Hi,' she says.

I lift my eyebrows. 'Hey.'

'So, we need to eat, then go somewhere more private, okay?'

'Okay.' I've never been more okay with anything in my life.

'Could you like, talk to me about something, please? Distract me from the fact your mouth is just… ungh.' She shivers and whether she's genuinely that turned on or is just playing with me, I don't know—or care.

The fact that she's obviously as into me as I am her makes me cocky. 'Wouldn't talking draw more attention to my mouth?' I squeeze her thigh and she wriggles in her seat but doesn't push my hand away.

Bella rolls her eyes. 'Talk,' she tells me.

I try to remember what we were talking about before she kissed me.

'Okay, yeah. I do have a question.' There's no way I'm moving my right hand off Bella's thigh, so I guess I'm left-handed now. I pick up an oyster shell and tip the contents into my mouth. Once I've swallowed, I say, 'You said just before that you get extra enthusiastic to soften it when you've forgotten someone's name.'

Bella nods like she knows what I'm going to ask, but I say it anyway: 'How come you were so straightforward about it when you forgot my name?'

'A couple of reasons.' Bella picks up one of the roe boats and takes a bite. 'Oh, my God, that's delicious.' She finishes it before wiping her fingers on her napkin. 'I was really tired. I'd talked to a lot of people before I ran into you, and mentally, I was pretty spent.'

'Completely understandable.' I feel like a massive dickhead for even asking.

Bella considers me for a moment before she continues. 'You know, I did remember you. Not your name, obviously, but I remembered that you'd introduced yourself to me at that party. And that you'd seemed really chill and hadn't been impressed by the shit Jasper was talking, and I guess I just… I didn't _want_ to be fake with you. So instead of putting on my usual show, I just asked. And you were nice about it. Even though I could tell you were bummed, you didn't make me feel like an idiot.'

I swallow my pride and reciprocate the honesty she always gives me. 'I was bummed because I hadn't been able to stop thinking about you since that party.' Hell, I even let fucking Jasper move in because I'd hoped it would mean seeing her again.

'If it helps,' Bella says, 'I couldn't stop thinking about you after _that _night. I was so upset when Jess wanted to leave early to go to a different party. I even asked Jasper if he'd take me home later if I stuck around for a while.' She grimaces. 'He told me he was planning on being way too drunk to drive.'

That motherfucker. But I don't really want to waste any more time talking, or even thinking, about Jasper.

Lauren appears at Bella's elbow. 'Smoked mussels on toast,' she says, depositing the first plate onto the table. 'And zucchini flowers with pecorino.' She grabs our dirty dishes and disappears. She may talk way too fast, but she's clearly trying to accomodate our desire to be interrupted as little as possible.

I lean towards Bella and she closes the gap, lets me kiss her softly.

'Stop it,' she mumbles, and I pull away immediately.

'I don't really want you to stop,' she says, before I can apologise. 'But I'm trying really hard not to climb into your lap and do things that are absolutely not fit for public consumption.'

'Fuck me,' I mutter. It figures that Bella is as open about sex and intimacy as she is everything else. I adjust myself as discreetly as I can, but of course, Bella watches my every movement. She bites her lip and shifts in her seat.

'What was the waitress's name?' she asks.

'Lauren.'

Bella nods. 'Okay. Wait here,' she says. I watch, curious, as she heads to the bar and catches Lauren's attention. They chat for a moment before both of them look towards me. Bella winks and Lauren lets out what looks like a shocked laugh. I think she even blushes. Shaking her head, she high fives Bella and then disappears towards the kitchen.

'Care to explain?' I ask, as Bella drops back into the seat beside me.

She leans forward, mischief written all over her face. 'I asked if we could get the rest of our food to go,' she says. 'She told me that they don't technically do takeaway, but when I told her that I couldn't promise I wouldn't try to get you to have sex with me on the table, she said she'd see what she could do.'

I groan and drop my head into my hands. 'Bella.' She's trying to kill me, I'm sure of it.

When I look up, she looks a little unsure of herself.

'Did I embarrass you? I wouldn't actually have sex in the middle of a restaurant.'

'No.' I chuckle. 'I'm not embarrassed. Just really fucking turned on.' Honestly, I'm not sure how I'm even managing to form coherent sentences. There can't be much blood circulating in my brain.

'Oh.' Bella smirks at me before she drains the rest of her cocktail. 'Well, good. That makes two of us.'


	18. Chapter 18

It only takes a few minutes for us to square the bill and collect the rest of our meal.

'Because we're not a takeaway restaurant, I'm supposed to tell you that we can't guarantee the quality of the food once you leave,' Lauren tells us. 'Reheat at your own risk and all that.'

'No problem,' I say. We thank her for being so accommodating, and she just laughs and waves us off.

'Have fun, kids. Be safe.'

Bella giggles as we head down the stairs to the street. As soon as we're out the front doors, she pushes me up against the brick wall and kisses me again. The bag of takeaway she's carrying bangs against my knee as I cup her jaw and deepen the kiss. Bella's lips move against mine softly at first, then harder, faster, and I haven't been this overwhelmed by just kissing since I was a teenager first learning how.

Bella makes this stupidly sexy whimper-groan sound and then pulls back. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes shine with anticipation. She licks her lips and beams up at me. 'Shall we?'

'Sure.' I throw an arm across her shoulders and we start towards the car.

We've only made it fifty metres when Bella stops and groans again. This one is more exasperated than sexy. She frowns as she looks up at me. 'I'm really sorry about this.'

'Hey?'

'Hope you don't have a phobia about meeting parents.' She points out two middle-aged blonde women who are walking towards us, deep in conversation. 'Because that's my mum.'

'Okay.'

As the two women get closer, I realise I recognise one of them. 'That's Mrs. Whitlock with her, right?' It's been years since I've seen Jasper's mother, but I spent a bit of time at their place when we were in high school.

'Uh-huh.'

'Is this okay?' I tug the ends of Bella's hair gently, hoping she understands that I'm offering to remove my arm from her shoulders.

She nods, swaps the bag of food to her other hand, and reaches up to tangle her fingers in mine.

'Let's get it over with.' She leads me into the women's trajectory. Before they reach us, I comb my fingers through my hair, hoping I don't look like I've just been fantasising about having sex with Bella in the middle of a restaurant.

'Hey, Mum.' The woman on the left looks up, startled. Her resemblance to Bella isn't immediately obvious, but it's there. She might be blonde-haired and blue-eyed, but she has Bella's nose and chin.

'Oh. Hey, honey.' Her gaze immediately flickers to me. She registers my arm across Bella's shoulder and our linked hands with the slightest twitch of her lips. That almost-smirk is all Bella, too. 'And this must be Edward.' She offers me her hand and I shake it. 'Renée Swan,' she says.

'It's nice to meet you.' I turn to Maria Whitlock. 'Hi, Mrs. Whitlock.' I'm a little wary, given the whole kicking her son out of my house thing, but Jasper's mum smiles widely and tells me that I'm not a child any more so I should call her Maria. I'm guessing Jasper hasn't been forthcoming about why he moved out then.

'What are you two up to?' Bella asks. She sounds suspicious and I grin at the apparent role reversal.

'We're off to drink our weight in cocktails at La Poste,' Renée says. 'Have you been there yet? I've heard it's fabulous.'

'We just left there,' Bella says. She mumbles a soft, 'Thank God,' and I have to bite my cheek to hide my smile.

'Really?' Maria looks at the bag in Bella's hand and her forehead creases. 'Do they do takeaway?'

'Doggy bag,' Bella says quickly. 'We tried the Feed Me menu but we couldn't finish all that food.' She winks at me and I feel my ears start to burn.

'Was it any good?' Renée asks. She looks at Maria. 'If we eat, we can drink more.'

Bella shakes her head, the movement causing her hair to brush against my arm. 'Is Dad picking you up?'

Renée makes a 'pssh' sound and waves a hand. 'I know how to order an Uber, Bella.'

'Edward, dear,' Maria Whitlock says, apparently oblivious to Bella and Renée's conversation. 'How's your sister doing these days?'

'She's doing really well.' I chuckle. 'Driving Mum and Dad crazy, as usual. She'll be out of their hair next year, though. She got into medicine at Newcastle.'

'Wow!' Maria's eyes widen. 'That's very impressive.' She hesitates. 'But is it a good idea? Medicine's very demanding. She'll run herself ragged.'

'She's been in complete remission for a long time,' I say. 'And her odds of getting sick again aren't that much higher than the general population.' Bella's fingers tighten around mine and I shoot her a small smile. I'm not unfamiliar with this line of conversation; I know it's one both Katie and Mum have had numerous times with well-meaning friends and family.

Thankfully, Maria doesn't seem inclined to push me on the subject. 'Of course,' she says. She nudges Renée. 'We shouldn't hold these two up any longer.'

'Mmm, we're wasting valuable drinking time,' Bella's mum agrees. 'Where are you two off to now?'

'You should try the Fairy Fizz, Mum,' Bella says, ignoring her mother's question. 'I think you'll like it.'

'I'll do that,' says Renée, as Maria says, 'Fairies? I like the sound of that.' The two women link arms and wander off, giggling as they speculate on whether the fairy cocktail contains absinthe.

Tucked under my arm as she is, I feel Bella sigh. I pull her closer and kiss her temple. 'You okay?'

'Fine,' she says, leaning into me. 'Good luck to the Uber driver, huh?'

Chuckling, I nudge her forward, towards where my car is parked.

We walk in silence for a moment before Bella says, 'That's super cool that your sister's going to do medicine.'

'You should've seen her when she found out she'd got in. She was screaming and crying and jumping around the living room.'

'Aww. That's awesome. That it meant that much to her.'

'Yeah.' I smile at the memory. 'Katie's always wanted to be a doctor. As long as I can remember, anyway. She put it off for a few years so we could travel, and for Mum's peace of mind. So she was worried they'd knock her back for having spent so many years bumming around.'

Bella looks up at me, her eyes full of questions. 'When you went around Australia, she went with you?'

I nod. 'She made me promise her when she was going through chemo. That once she was well enough, we'd go the whole way 'round the country together. See it all. So once I finished school, we did. We'd work for a few weeks, sometimes a few months, in cafés or bars—whatever we could get. I did a couple of stints packing shelves, a couple of labouring jobs. We'd see the sights, save up a bit, then move on to the next place. We spent almost three years doing that.'

'That is up there as one of the loveliest things I've ever heard.'

I shrug. 'Katie… I guess having to go through what she did—it shifted her priorities. She still wanted to be a doctor, but she wanted to see something of the world, have some fun, before she buckled down. If she goes into paediatrics, it's like, at least thirteen years of study and training. So she wanted to just enjoy life for a while first.'

Bella considers that for a while. 'I mean, it's kind of ridiculous that people expect us to know at seventeen or eighteen what we want to do for the rest of our lives, isn't it? And when you've had to deal with something as confronting as cancer… Yeah. I can see why it was really important to her to do that first.'

'She, um.' I swallow, trying to clear the way for the words. 'She said she knew that if she got sick again, she knew what she'd regret not having done the most.'

We reach my car and Bella turns to face me. I slip my hands down to her waist. The furious sexual energy sparking between us when we left the bar has mellowed and deepened, and I know I'm falling hard and fast. I don't know what I thought it would be like, falling in love, but I sure as fuck didn't expect it to be so easy.


	19. Chapter 19

I wake while my bedroom is still blanketed by darkness. My actual blanket is nowhere to be found. I grope around for my doona and my hand finds warm, smooth skin. The evening comes back to me in flashes: kissing Bella in the bar, kissing Bella on the street, kissing Bella in my car, kissing Bella on my couch, kissing Bella in my bed.

As I fumbled with my keys, I'd asked Bella if she had wanted to come back to my place for a bit. 'Or you can stay the night. We don't have to do anything. I mean, I'm not assuming anything. I'm just—I'm not ready for tonight to be over. But if you're tired, I get it. You—'

Bella shut me up with a kiss, which had been a relief, because I was definitely rambling. And also because I really, really like kissing her.

When she pulled back, she held up the bag of food I'd all but forgotten about. 'Tonight's obviously not over yet. At the very least, we need to finish dinner and make-out like, a lot.'

I feel around on my bedside table until I manage to locate my phone. The screen comes to life at my touch and I blink as weak light seeps across my bedroom. It's a little before 4 a.m.

Bella is asleep with her back to me, my doona wrapped around her legs like a tortilla around a burrito. Moving as gently as I can to avoid disturbing her, I tug one side of the doona from beneath her and drag it back across the bed, covering myself in the process. I'm still in the trackies I changed into earlier, and while the top half of me is cold, I can feel sweat gathering behind my knees. As much as I'd like to kick my pants off, it doesn't seem right to lose them while Bella's asleep beside me. Instead, I find the remote for the little air conditioning unit that sits on my windowsill and turn it on. Bella stirs as it rattles to life.

Alistair had been parked in front of the television when we got home, which meant we'd been forced to put the making-out part of our plans on hold. Bella hadn't seemed to mind. She'd plonked herself down on the end of the couch and patted the space between her and Al. As soon as I sat down, she lifted her legs into my lap. While she and Al chattered away, I occupied myself with exploring her smooth skin. I traced the curve of her calf, the knobbles in her ankles, the arch of her foot, catching only snippets of their conversation.

The moment Al had said goodbye and left for work, I wrapped my arms around Bella and flipped us over so we were lying on the couch, me on top of her, my hips between her thighs. I kissed her hard, trying to make up for the hour we'd just lost to small talk with my housemate. Bella wove her fingers through my hair, holding me close as she parted her lips so I could kiss her deeper.

When I needed to catch my breath, I pulled my mouth from Bella's and kissed my way down her throat. She let out this sexy whimper-moan and wrapped her legs around my waist. The grunt that escaped me when she moved against me would have been embarrassing if she hadn't made a similar noise when I returned the favour and ground my hips into hers.

'Fuck that feels good.' I ran a hand up Bella's thigh, feeling soft skin stretched over hard muscle. 'I swear you've got the nicest legs I've ever seen.'

Bella kissed her way up my neck, before gently dragging her teeth over my earlobe. Goosebumps broke out across my neck and arms. 'Nice?' she said, her voice strained. 'Nice is a very pedestrian word.'

'They're hot.'

'Come on,' she goaded. 'You can do better than that.'

'Fine,' I muttered. 'You want me to be more specific, huh? You want me to tell you that you've got the sexiest legs I've ever seen? That I've been thinking about what they'd feel like wrapped around me just like this since the day we met?' I splayed my hand across her thigh, trying to touch as much skin as I could. 'You want me to tell you that I've actually given serious consideration to the best position to fuck you in so I can enjoy them? That what you wanna hear, Bella?'

Beneath me, Bella arched her back, her breath coming fast in these little pants that were doing nothing to help me rein myself in. 'And?'

'And what?'

'And what did you decide? Which positions?'

I almost swallowed my tongue. She really was trying to kill me. I hadn't gotten off while making-out since I was about fifteen, but the tension building low in my gut told me it wouldn't take much to send me over the edge.

'You flexible?'

'Reasonably.'

Moving carefully, because the last thing I needed was for her to strain a muscle, I lifted her leg until her knee was hooked over my shoulder.

'Maybe like this,' I said, bucking my hips into hers.

'This could be _nice_,' she agreed.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and dragged her with me as I moved to sit up. Once she was straddling my lap, I grabbed her hips and pulled her against me. 'Or maybe with you sitting on the counter in my bathroom. I think it's probably the perfect height. And the mirror means I'd get to watch both angles.'

'Oh, fuck.' Bella rolled her hips, pressing herself against my dick and I groaned. 'That could be hot,' she said.

'Or maybe just your thighs wrapped around my head and my mouth on you.'

'Mmm.' She tipped her head back as I kept moving her on my lap. 'Yes, just there. Maybe—Oh… Maybe we should write these down.'

I had to chuckle at that. And, fuck, it was _fun_. I had never been one for talking while being intimate with someone, although I don't think I'd ever been with anyone who wanted me to bother. But the nature of the conversation was turning me on, while concentrating on keeping it going was just distracting enough to keep me from coming in my pants like a teenager. It was a win-win, really.

'Yeah, maybe. Any you'd care to add?'

'So you can enjoy my legs?' Bella grabbed at my shirt and tugged it. 'Take this off?'

'Yeah,' I said, popping open the top two buttons and then yanking the shirt over my head. 'No. I mean, whatever. Things you want to try. If you've thought about it. It's cool if you haven't.'

Bella put her hands on my chest. Her eyes were a little unfocused as she continued to rock against me.

'Now _that_ is nice,' she said. She trailed her fingers across my shoulders, over my sternum, down to my abs before she smirked and flicked my nipples.

'Fuck, Bella.'

Bella slowed her movements and brought her fingers to the buttons of her little onesie thing. She unbuttoned it to the waist and let it slip from her shoulders. She had this cute lacy thing on underneath—not quite a bra, not quite a singlet.

'I like this,' I told her. I covered her breasts with my hands and she moaned, leaning into me. 'So…?' I prompted, running my thumbs over her nipples.

'Shit. Do that again,' she said.

I grinned at her but didn't comply. 'Tell me,' I said. 'What are you adding to the list?'

'Edward,' she whined. I pinched one of her nipples and she jerked against me, her breath escaping in a whimper. 'Oh. Again. Harder.'

I quirked an eyebrow at her and she frowned.

'Uh, I can't—I can't think like this. You feel so good.'

I leaned closer to her and lowered my voice. 'We could stop. If it will help you concentrate.'

She shook her head, her movements getting a little floppy as she kept rolling her hips against where I most wanted to feel her. 'No. No stopping. Uh… I want you in the shower. You're so sexy when your hair's wet. And I want to wake up to you behind me, with your hands on my tits, pinching and—Oh, fuck, yes, like that.'

I swiped a finger under the lace. 'Can I?'

She nodded. 'Yeah.'

I tugged the lace lower, and she arched her back, helping me to find her with my lips. I kissed across the swell of her breast before tracing my tongue around her nipple. 'Keep going,' I said against her skin.

'Ungh. I want—I want to be on top. I want you to bend me over in front of a mirror. And on your washing machine. I want the ones you said, too. I—' She broke off with a moan as I sucked her nipple into my mouth. 'I'm really close,' she told me. I gripped her arse and her little high-pitched whimpers got louder as I kept moving her against me, and when I raked my teeth across the nipple in my mouth, she stiffened and let out a breathy 'Oh, fuck,' before she melted against me.

I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into my side, twisting my hips away from her as she moved. With my other hand, I unbuttoned my jeans and grabbed my aching dick. Bella's lips found my neck and I stroked myself roughly as she kissed her way along my jaw. I heard her moan and soft, 'Fuck, Edward,' as she realised what I was doing, and then felt one of her hands slip down my chest to my stomach. Her hand covered mine loosely as I increased the speed of my strokes. My head fell back as tension coiled low in my gut. I was really fucking close. Bella licked and kissed my throat and when she sucked hard on the skin below my ear, I came with a loud groan.

Her forehead still pressed into my neck, Bella kissed my throat and sighed softly. 'I want you in every way possible. Including all the ways I don't even know about yet.'

I hooked a finger under her chin and tipped her face up. I was pretty sure we were no longer talking only about sex. I kissed her softly. 'Same.'

* * *

_These two and their honesty push me so far outside my comfort zone_.


	20. Chapter 20

'Edward?' Bella says now, her voice scratchy with sleep.

I kiss her shoulder blade. 'I'm here.'

She reaches back and rubs her fingertips against my scalp.

'It's four a.m.,' I tell her.

'My bladder always was a jerk,' she says. 'Could you switch the lamp on?' I comply and Bella sits up with a sigh. Her hair tumbles down her back. I tug the ends gently, and she looks over her shoulder at me with a gentle smile. 'Be right back.' She heads for the ensuite, closing the door behind her, and I hear her groan as she flicks on the light.

After our activities on the couch, Bella had stashed our leftovers in the fridge while I chucked my jeans in the washing machine and pulled on some trackies. Luckily, the mess had been contained, but I made a mental note to be a bit more careful in the shared areas of the house. Having to explain any suss stains on the couch to Al would be the fucking worst.

Bella was yawning and filling a glass at the tap when I walked into the kitchen.

'Do you, uh, need me to take you home?' I asked, shoving a hand through my hair.

She shook her head. She'd pulled her little jumpsuit thing back up, but hadn't bothered to button it. I stared at her bra as she gulped down her water.

'You'll stay?' Sleeping next to her meant waking up beside her, and I wanted that—badly.

'Yeah.' She opened the dishwasher and set her empty glass on the rack. 'If that's cool.'

I closed the distance between us and grabbed her hips. She tipped her chin up and I kissed her lips for a minute before I told her, 'Of course it's cool.'

'Okay. I just gotta send a text then.'

I dropped my hands and followed her back into the living room. I sat on the coffee table as she dug through her bag for her phone.

'Your parents won't mind?' Renée had seemed pretty chill, but I knew how Dad could get when Katie stayed out all night. Funny that he never said a word to me when I'd done the same thing. When I was younger, I thought he was just protective of her because of her having been so sick. And it could've partly been that, but let's be honest, it was also because she's a girl. The double standard is real.

'Not if I give them a heads up,' she said. She tossed her phone back into her bag and moved to stand between my knees. She threaded her fingers through my hair and smiled down at me. 'I'm all yours.'

She comes back from the bathroom with her hair tied up in one of those wobbly topknots. She's just in her undies and bra and when she yawns and stretches, I realise she's also got a killer set of abs. I want to lick them.

Bella climbs onto the bed and sits cross-legged, facing me. 'Hey.'

'Hi.' I prop my head on my hand. 'Not tired?'

She shakes her head. 'We went to sleep pretty early. I am kinda hungry, though.'

I chuckle. 'Yeah. We forgot to eat the rest of our dinner, huh?'

'Trust me,' Bella says. 'Food was the last thing on my mind.'

'Do you want to eat something now?'

She shakes her head. 'Maybe in a bit.'

I sit up against the headboard and Bella crawls over to me, moving to straddle my lap. I kiss her cheek, then her nose, then her forehead.

'I like this,' I say, tracing my finger over her lacy bra thing.

'Yeah, you mentioned that.' She smirks at me. 'Cute bralettes are one of the perks of having tiny tits. Underwires can go fuck themselves.'

'Not that my opinion should matter or anything, but I think your tits are gorgeous.'

Bella chuckles. 'Thanks. I quite like them. They actually only showed up once I wasn't doing as much upper body strength work, so they're still a novelty to me. Before that I just had pecs with nipples.'

I huff a tiny laugh at the image she paints for me. 'I think nearly all pecs have nipples, don't they?'

Bella makes a show of studying my chest. She flicks my nipple and I jerk in surprise. I can't remember another girl ever so much as glancing at my nipples, and honestly, I'm surprised by how much it turns me on.

'The last two guys I was with both suggested I look at getting implants, which made me pretty self-conscious for a while. But then'—Bella shrugs—'I realised they were both dickheads and that I didn't give a shit what they thought.'

For a very brief moment, I wonder if Jasper was one of the motherfuckers who suggested she undergo surgery for his own gratification. But then I decide I really don't want to know.

Bella cups her tits and I'm sure she can feel me harden beneath her. She gives them a jiggle, which makes me laugh—and grow harder still. Once again, I'm amazed at how much fun it is, being intimate with her.

'They're super sensitive, which is pretty fun. Makes it really easy to get off. If surgery messed with that I'd be devo.'

I dip my finger under the lace and trace around her nipple. 'That sounds like a pretty fun challenge.'

Bella giggles. 'I didn't mean it to be.'

'Can I try?' I ask. 'See if I can get you to come without touching you anywhere else?'

'Be my guest.'

As it turns out, I don't succeed. I kiss and pinch and lick and bite until Bella's a sweaty, panting mess, until she's shaking her head in frustration, her hands fisted in my hair.

'It's right there,' she says, her voice strained. 'I just can't—I need more.'

I tug the waistband of her undies. 'Is this okay?'

'Yes. Please. Fuck.' I slip my hand between her thighs and she groans in relief. It doesn't take long until she comes on my fingers, moaning my name.

Her skin is slick with sweat and her hair is a mess, strands sticking to her face and spilling across the pillow, and she's so damn sexy and I'm so fucking hard. When I grab my dick, Bella pushes my hand away.

'My turn,' she mumbles. She takes a moment, but then her breathing evens out and she gets to her knees and moves to straddle my legs. She pumps me a few times before she scoots back a bit further. Her hair brushes my thighs as she leans forward. Before she takes me into her mouth she says, 'Just, um… I don't really like…' Her cheeks flame a darker shade of pink. 'Warn me?'

'Of course.' The fact that Bella, who less than twelve hours ago told a waitress she wanted to have sex with me in the middle of a restaurant, doesn't just say 'Don't come in my mouth' actually unsettles me a little. I'm about to tell her she doesn't have to do this at all, but then her lips are right there and I lose all coherency.

I gather as much of her hair as I can reach, lifting it out of the way so I can watch her. I'm so worked up, though, that it's only a matter of minutes of feeling her warm, wet mouth on me, before I choke out, 'Bella, I'm close.'

She pulls back and replaces her mouth with her hand, and when she grabs my hand and places it on her breast, I'm gone. White light sparks behind my eyelids and every muscle tenses before a wave of deep satiation rolls over me.

Bella chews her lip as she waits for my to regain my executive function. 'I'm sorry,' she says. She won't meet my gaze.

'Hey,' I say. 'It's okay.' I fumble for the box of tissues on my bedside table and clean up. Bella pulls her knees up to her chest and it makes something in _my_ chest hurt, seeing her so unsure of herself.

'Come here.' I open my arms to her and she moves to lie down beside me. She rests her head on my shoulder and I run my fingers through her hair, which has completely escaped its bun. 'You know, I don't expect anything of you. If you don't wanna do that, it's definitely not a deal breaker, all right?'

'I want to,' she mumbles. I feel rather than hear her sigh. 'It's just…' She breaks off and I'm on the verge of telling her she doesn't owe me an explanation when she says, 'I had a pretty bad experience a while ago. I don't really want to go into detail. But basically, I don't give head, ever. But I wanted to, with you, because I knew I could trust you. I just hope you're not disappointed.'

It takes me a moment to gather my thoughts enough to speak. 'I'm not disappointed, mate.' I kiss the top of her head. 'I loved every minute of it. I mean, Bella, I think I almost blacked out for a moment. It felt so fucking good.' It's the truth. I had an earth-shattering orgasm at the hands of a girl I'm crazy about. I'm definitely not disappointed. I'm furious with the motherfucker who wasn't careful with her and made it such a traumatic experience. I'm sad to see her so full of self-doubt. But I'm also still buzzing at how wonderfully this thing between us is developing.

I trail a fingertip down her arm, loving the way goosebumps appear on her skin at my touch. 'I really like you, Bella. And whatever limits you set, in bed or in any other part of life, I'll respect them, okay? I want to be _with_ you; I don't want to own you.'

Bella lifts her head. She searches my eyes for a moment, and I guess whatever she sees is okay, because she gives me a small nod. 'I want to be with you, too. I think I maybe more than like you.'

'Yeah? I'm pretty sure I more than like you, too.'

Bella huffs out a laugh at our deliberate imprecision, and a little of the tension slips away.

'You still hungry?' I ask.

'I could eat,' she says, and I can hear the smile creeping into her voice. 'Actually, a cup of tea would be awesome.'

'Come on,' I say, patting her bum. 'I did the grocery shopping yesterday. I've got crumpets.'


	21. Chapter 21

Tea and crumpets at five in the morning is my new favourite thing. Especially when it involves Bella and we can crawl back into bed and sleep until well after ten. The sun is streaming in through my open curtains when I wake for a second time. Outside, a cockatoo is doing its nut, screeching and carrying on. My neighbours had solar panels installed a few weeks ago, and there's a goanna that likes to use them as a tanning bed. It's a big motherfucker, over a metre long, and the cockies get a massive case of the shits every time it shows up.

'Still can't believe you put jam on crumpets,' Bella says, her voice scratchy with sleep. 'You're such a weirdo. Everyone knows you put either honey or Vegemite on crumpets.'

I groan out a laugh. Waking up to Bella teasing me is now my favourite way to wake up. 'I told you, I don't like Vegemite.'

'Then have honey,' she says. 'I mean, bloody hell. Next thing you'll tell me you don't put beetroot on your burgers.'

I lift my eyebrows at her and she sighs. 'I'm not even mad now. I just feel sorry for you.'

'Don't feel sorry for me,' I say. 'I woke up with a gorgeous woman in my bed. She's hilarious, and probably the strongest person I know. I definitely don't need pitying.'

Bella groans and throws her forearm over her eyes. 'See, now I feel like a dick. I wake up and give you shit about what you eat for brekky. You wake up and say stupidly sweet things that make me wanna cry.'

'Bella. Hey. Look at me.' I try to tug her arm away from her face but she's pretty damn strong. 'I'm gonna tickle you if you don't move that arm.'

'Not ticklish,' she says.

'Seriously?' I dig my fingers into her ribs and clearly, she's not lying. I try a featherlight touch, then a firmer tickle. When my fingers fail to produce results, I try again with my unshaven chin. The only reaction I get is a slight tensing of her abs, which reminds me that I had wanted to lick them.

So I do.

I trace my tongue down the centre line between the muscles, then around each of the little squares. Bella's hands find my hair and she lets out a breathy moan. I kiss her ribs, her belly button, along the waistband of her undies, before moving lower. I kiss her over the lace, then suck the skin of her inner thigh. I'm tempted to give her a hickey, but knowing that she spends a lot of time in her cosies I figure it's probably not a great idea.

'You're killing me,' Bella says. 'Get up here.'

'Soon,' I say. I hook my fingers into the waistband of her undies and look up at her, my eyebrows lifted in question.

She bites her lip and nods, before she throws her head back onto the pillow and covers her eyes with her forearm again.

I pull the lace over her hips and scoot back down the bed while she kicks them the rest of the way off. I kiss my way back up her legs, switching between them every few inches. Her muscles tense under my lips, and I tell her again how fucking sexy her legs are.

I hesitate when I reach the tops of her thighs, waiting for her to look at me, wanting to make sure she's definitely okay with what I want to do.

'You really don't have to,' she says.

'I want to,' I assure her. The way she's squirming and hesitating makes me wonder if she's had a bad experience with this, too. Or perhaps it's that she's had no experience with it. 'Just making sure it's what you want, too.'

'Trust me, I want.'

'Tell me if something's not working for you, okay?'

She nods again, and I dip my head and put my mouth on her. I kiss and lick and suck as she pants and moans and swears and tells me, 'Yes, just there.' When I add my fingers, her thighs close around my head and I groan against hot, slick skin as one of the fantasies I listed for her earlier plays out.

It's so much better than I imagined. The press of her strong legs against the sides of my head, the sharp tug of her fingers in my hair, the wetness of her on my lips and chin, the taste of her on my tongue. I don't let up until I feel her back arch and her thighs tense, and hear her swear and moan.

When her thighs relax their grip on my head, I give her one more kiss, which makes her groan and squirm away. She rolls onto her side, closing her legs, and looks down at me with heavy eyelids and a lazy smile.

'I forgive you for the jam,' she says, startling me into laughter. 'You can put whatever the fuck you want on your crumpets.'


	22. Chapter 22

Sometime after midday, Bella asks if she can take a shower. I find her a clean towel and an unused toothbrush and tell her I'll sort out some lunch while she washes.

I'm putting together a pretty basic pasta salad when Katie texts me.

_Katie: Riley is coming to family lunch tomorrow. I want you to meet them. Also, I need your help to keep Dad from saying something offensive. Will you bring Bella, too?_

_Edward: I'll do my best with Dad. Want me to bring gaffer tape? And I'll ask Bella and let you know._

Bella comes out of my bathroom, her hair dripping all over one of my t-shirts, her legs on display in the pair of tiny gym shorts she said she's started stashing in her magical handbag 'for emergencies.'

'You cook?' she asks. 'That's sexy.'

I shake my head at her. 'It's just pasta. That's hardly cooking.'

She picks an olive out of the salad and pops it in her mouth. 'Well, thanks for hardly making me lunch.'

'No problem. But speaking of—is it too soon to invite you to lunch at my parents' house tomorrow?' I know I met her mum last night, but that was definitely not planned.

Bella shrugs. 'Is it too soon to say yes?'

'Cool.' As I text Katie back, I tell Bella, 'Lunch is usually at one, so I'll pick you up about twelve-thirty?'

'Sure.'

* * *

When I knock on Bella's front door at twenty-five past, I'm not expecting her to be ready. I'm early, after all. I'm also not expecting her to answer the door with white zinc smeared across her face and salt caked on her eyebrows. She's wearing a pair of tiny maroon bikini bottoms and a fluro pink rash vest that makes sense of the tan lines I noticed on her the second time we met.

She stares at me for a minute before her face falls. 'Lunch with your family. Shit. I forgot.' She opens the door wider and motions for me to come in. 'I'm so sorry.'

She digs two fingers into her temple and sighs in frustration. 'I'm really sorry. What time is it?'

'Almost twelve-thirty.'

'Okay. I just—I need to shower. Shit. I'm so sorry about this.'

I trail behind her as she heads down the hallway and into her bedroom. She starts opening drawers and pulling out clothes and underwear at random. She tosses at least four pairs of socks and three bras onto her bed. 'What should I wear? Is my red top okay? The one—Or maybe a dress…'

I catch her wrist before she gets to her cupboard and pull her around to face me. 'Hey. Look at me.' Her eyes are red-rimmed, but I can't tell if that's because she's upset or because she's spent the morning coated in sunscreen and salt water.

I settle my hands on her hips and say, 'Bella, chill.'

It's the wrong thing to say. She steps out of my reach and heads back to her wardrobe. Metal screeches as she slides coathangers along the railing.

I sit down on her bed, rest my forearms on my knees, and wait for her to give me some sort of clue about how to proceed from here.

Bella mutters and swears as she keeps digging through her cupboard, and I have to tell myself not to take her reaction personally. She's not upset with me; she's upset with herself. I sigh and shove my hand through my hair. The thing is, I'm not even frustrated that she forgot, or that we might be a little late to lunch. I'm frustrated that she's so worked up when she doesn't need to be.

'Can I tell you a secret?' I keep my voice as light and conversational as I can manage. 'Mum's doing a lamb roast. And she always underestimates how long it will take. Every time. She cooks it like, once a month, but every single time, she puts it in the oven too late and we end up eating closer to two o'clock.'

Bella stops rifling through her wardrobe and turns towards me slowly. She's holding a white sundress in one hand and a pale blue all-in-one thingy in the other.

'Katie lives there,' I say, 'and she'll still manage to get to the table later than us. We usually end up starting without her.'

Bella sighs and drops the clothes on the floor. She comes to stand between my knees. 'I'm sorry,' she says. 'For forgetting, and for freaking out on you.'

'It's totally fine. Were you training?' I tug the hem of her rash vest. It's more like a lycra singlet than the rashies surfers wear. It's also really fucking bright.

She shakes her head. 'Helping out with Nippers.' She flicks her rashie, answering a question I didn't even know I had: 'I wear one, because the kids all have to. Pink hi-vis is the easiest to see in the water, so they're compulsory.'

I smile at the mental image that generates. Bella surrounded by a horde of zinc-slathered, pink-vested grommets.

'So like the old "no hat, no play?"'

'Exactly like that. No pink vest, no water activities.'

I squeeze her thighs, and Bella leans down and kisses the corner of my mouth. 'Sorry for freaking out,' she says again.

'It's cool,' I say. 'But, hey, for future reference… How can I help you out without, I dunno, seeming like I'm being patronising? Should I text you a reminder when we've made plans?' I had thought about it earlier this morning, but I didn't want her to feel like I was treating her like a kid.

Bella considers me for a moment, her hands on my shoulders. 'Thanks for asking that,' she says. 'No one ever has.' She kisses me softly before she pulls back, her eyebrows furrowed. 'Maybe when we make plans, just remind me to put it in my phone at the time. If I put it in my calendar, I can set a bunch of alarms to remind me at certain points in time beforehand. That way I give myself enough time to get ready and get wherever I need to be.'

'I can do that.'

Bella kisses me again, harder this time. She parts her lips and our tongues meet and I groan into her mouth. She pulls away, smirking. 'I can't make us even later.'

'You totally can,' I joke. 'Or we can just not go and stay here and make-out.'

Bella rolls her eyes at me and steps back. She picks up the clothes she discarded earlier and holds them up to me. 'You got a preference?'

'What do you call that thing?' I ask, pointing at the onesie.

Bella looks at it, then at me, apparently confused by my ignorance. 'A playsuit?'

'Right. Well.' I chuckle. 'While you look stunning in anything, I'm pretty sure it'll be easier to get my hands up that dress later.'

She drops the playsuit on the carpet and giggles. 'Excellent point.'

* * *

_Grommets = kids (esp. those who surf); "No hat, no play" = If you don't have your school hat, you're not allowed in the playground at break times and have to remain in designated shaded areas. Melanoma is no joke. _


	23. Chapter 23

Despite Bella's lapse in memory, we end up pulling into my parents' driveway only a few minutes after one o'clock. It's actually my fault we're those five or so minutes late, because I insisted on 'helping' Bella get dressed. And by helping, I mean I dragged her, freshly showered and still dripping wet, onto my lap so I could kiss the shit out of her. She let me pick out her undies, too, which I've since realised was an evil genius move on her part. I'm now going to sit through lunch with my parents with the image of the lacy thing that barely covers half her arse in my head.

Before I can push open the front door, Bella grabs my hand. 'Katie. And Riley. Your dad is…' She frowns in concentration. 'Carlisle. And your mum is…' She shakes her head in frustration. 'It's gone already.'

'Esme.'

'Esme. Okay. Esme, Esme, Esme.'

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her gently. 'If you forget, you can just call them Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. Dad will like it, because he's a weirdo, and Mum will immediately tell you to call her Esme because Mrs. Cullen is her mother-in-law.'

'Okay.' Bella nods. 'Cullen. That I can remember.'

'Yeah? Because you've been doodling your future married name in the back of your diary?'

Bella looks at me, her eyes wide. 'Did you snoop through my journals while I was in the shower? Oh, my God. Edward, that is so rude! They're supposed to be private.'

I stare at her for a moment, until I catch the twitch of her lips. She's fucking with me.

Chuckling, I shove open the front door and lead her inside. I toe off my shoes and Bella copies me, stepping out of her sandals. She grins up at me as I take her hand and head towards the kitchen, following the scent of roasting lamb and vegetables.

My mother is leaning over the counter, studying a cookbook. I wink at Bella and hold a finger to my lips. She scrunches her nose at me in reply.

While we wait for Mum to notice us, I take in the state of the kitchen. I can smell the pungent, herbaceous aroma of rosemary, and immediately spy the pile of sprigs by the chopping board. A stack of dirty bowls balances in the sink, waiting to go into the dishwasher, which is blinking to say it's finished. There's also a very depleted bottle of gin beside an empty glass rimmed with lipstick prints. I've gotta talk to Katie about it, but it seems like Mum is drinking a lot more than she used to. It could just be that I'm only usually here around meal times so I'm not getting the full picture, but my gut tells me there's more to it than that.

Mum moves to the pantry, takes out a container of flour, then startles, her free hand coming to press against her chest.

'You're going to give me a heart attack one day,' she scolds. She sets the flour on the bench and comes around to greet Bella, a bright smile blooming on her lips. 'Hello, darling. You must be Bella. It's so lovely to meet you.' Mum gives Bella a kiss on the cheek and a brief hug.

'Hi, Mrs. Cullen,' Bella says. 'It's really nice to meet you.'

'Please call me Esme,' Mum says. Catching Bella's eye, I mouth the next words behind my mother's back: 'Mrs. Cullen is my mother-in-law.'

Bella's eyes shine with laughter as Mum steps back. 'It's really nice to meet you, Esme.' I can almost see her repeating the name in her head.

'Hi, Esme,' I say. I'll play the little shit if it will help Bella out.

Mum looks heavenward before she looks back at Bella. 'Are you sure you know what you're doing, hanging around with this one?' My mother gives me a quick kiss before stage whispering, 'Punching above your weight, aren't you? She's far too pretty to be with a blockhead like you.'

I roll my eyes as Bella giggles. Mum is going out of her way to make Bella feel welcome, which I appreciate, but I also know Mum only gets theatrical and silly when she's tipsy. So that definitely wasn't her first gin. I scrub my fingers through my hair. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe Mum is just trying to manage her nerves. It can't be easy having both her children bring home the people they're seeing, knowing it will be a miracle if we can get through lunch without Dad saying something grossly offensive.

'I heard someone say blockhead and I knew Ned had to be here.' My sister appears behind Bella. Riley trails in behind her, flashing me a small smile.

'Mum's right,' Katie says to Bella. She kisses her cheek and grins warmly at her. 'You _are_ a stunner. Way too pretty for Ned.'

Bella looks amused as she looks from Katie to me. Her eyebrows lift and her lips twitch and I know it's because of the nickname.

'So, hi. I'm Katie,' my sister says. 'My brother has clearly forgotten his manners. Probably because he's too busy staring at you.'

I'm going to get a headache from all the eye-rolling I'm doing. I don't even care, though, because watching my sister introduce Bella to Riley while my mum fusses around the kitchen is doing something big inside my chest.

'Ri, this is Ned,' Katie says. 'My bébé brother. Sadly for him, I got the brains _and_ the looks.'

I flip Katie off and kiss Riley on the cheek. 'Edward,' I say. 'But Ned is fine if you really must.'

Riley chuckles. 'I'll stick to Edward,' they tell me. Their voice is low and soft. That kind of deep, rich timbre you could listen to for literal hours. 'It's nice to finally meet you.'

'You, too,' I say. 'How's the fan dancing going?'

Riley smirks, and I would bet a lot of money that they're picturing my sister's less-than-graceful moves. 'It's great. We have a lot of fun.'

Bella looks up. 'Fan dancing?'

It's the perfect thing to say, because within moments, Katie and Riley are seated either side of her at the breakfast table, phones out as they show her photos and videos from their burlesque classes. I definitely hear my sister mention taking Bella along to class with them. Bella shrugs and says she'll think about it. 'I'm not very coordinated,' she says.

'Neither am I,' Riley says, their voice gentle. 'And neither is Katie.' They wink at Bella over the rim of their glasses.

Katie just laughs and shrugs. 'Hey, we're both getting better.'

'That we are.' Riley reaches behind Bella and squeezes Katie's shoulder. The look they share is so tender I have to look away.

I open the dishwasher and start unpacking the clean dishes. Mum pats my shoulder in thanks and returns her attention to the dessert she's making. As I sort the clean cutlery into the drawer, I listen to Bella laugh with my sister and her partner, and my chest is once again running out of room for all the feelings I'm struggling to contain.


	24. Chapter 24

As is typical, Dad only appears in the dining room once all the food is on the table and we're ready to eat. He opens a bottle of red wine at my mum's request and pours everyone a glass. Mum makes the introductions.

'Carlise, this is Riley, Katie's datemate. And this is Bella. Edward's girlfriend.'

Dad nods at Riley and then Bella in turn. 'Pleased to meet you.'

Bella's knee bumps mine under the table and I look up at her. Our conversation is swift and silent:

Her raised eyebrows. _Girlfriend, huh?_

My smile and small shrug. _Yeah. That okay?_

Her grin. _Yes._

I'm pretty sure Katie and Mum have deliberately seated Riley across from Dad to limit his opportunities to say something shitty to them, so it's Bella who comes under his scrutiny first.

'And what do you do with yourself, Bella?' He swirls his wine quickly and then pokes his nose into the glass. He nods to himself before returning his attention to Bella.

'Well, I'm at uni,' Bella says.

'Good girl. Which course?'

Katie shoots me a look but I shake my head at her. I'm not sure if she's pissed at his patronising tone or the subtle jab at me. Dad probably won't ever get over the fact I didn't apply to go to uni but I've made peace with his disappointment. Him talking to Bella like she's twelve, though, I have a problem with.

'Early Childhood.'

'Hmm.' Dad purses his lips. He's still rocking the hideous moustache—December can't come quick enough. 'You want to be a preschool teacher, then.'

Bella nods. 'Ideally, yeah. But I'll also be qualified to teach in primary schools and work in daycare centres.'

Dad makes a hmmph noise, which means he's got an opinion he feels the need to share. It's probably going to involve him shitting on women for putting their kids in daycare, so I head him off by telling him that Bella juggles study, two jobs, volunteering at Nippers, and her own training.

Bella looks at me sideways as my dad starts raving about how lovely it is to see a young person with so much ambition. I can't interpret her look, whether she's embarrassed by the praise being heaped on her or annoyed at my less than subtle steering of the conversation.

'I don't think I'd describe myself as ambitious,' Bella says. She frowns at her plate. 'I just like to keep busy.' There's a whole lot she's not saying right now. I make a mental note to ask her about it privately.

'Nothing wrong with ambition,' Dad says, oblivious Bella's shift in demeanour. 'Too many of your generation just expect everything to be handed to them without realising they have to put in the work. You'—he points his knife at her—'clearly know the value of hard work.'

'Ok boomer.'

The whole table falls silent as everyone stares at my mother.

'What?' she says. She takes a big sip of wine. 'I know how to use the internet.'

'You're not old enough to be Boomers,' Katie says.

'The outlook's still the same, isn't it?' Mum says.

Katie shrugs, conceding the point.

Dad looks completely lost. 'What on earth are you talking about, Esme?'

'Not a thing,' Mum says. She holds out her glass to him. 'Top me up?'

Dad obliges, and while he's sufficiently distracted, Mum asks Bella if she grew up locally.

'No, we moved here about four years ago. Well, my parents are from here originally, but they moved to the Shire before I was born.'

'And the property market sent them back up here.' I've never really noticed it before, the way my father makes a statement when he should ask a question, but it's fucking annoying.

Bella shrugs and pushes some lamb around on her plate. 'That could have been part of it. But I had an accident and that really shook Mum up. She needed the support of family and friends around her, so she wanted to move back up here.'

Her mother needed the support? It was Bella who had the traumatic brain injury, Bella who needed to remember her parents' names and how to walk and talk. And yet it's Bella who is smiling softly as she says, 'It's been really good for her. She has heaps of friends here and she's been able to reconnect with them. She's really happy.'

It socks me in the chest: deep, overwhelming affection and no small amount of awe. I squeeze Bella's knee under the table and she covers my hand with her own. My stomach and my heart are trying to switch places and I think my hands might be shaking because Bella's eyebrows furrow as she looks at me. I flip my hand over and link our fingers together.

'Were you hurt, Bella?' Riley asks, pulling our attention away from one another. 'In the accident?'

Bella licks her lips and nods. 'Yeah. Not as badly as I could've been, but rehab took a long time. I missed a lot of school.' She uses the hand not tangled in mine to tuck her hair behind her ear. 'I ended up having to repeat Year 11, so moving worked out okay for me, too.' She picks up her fork and spears a piece of broccoli. 'Katie, Edward told me you're doing medicine next year. That's amazing. Congratulations.'

'Thank you!' My sister beams as she launches into a ridiculous story about how she almost missed her MSA interview because she'd managed to get completely lost on campus and had to keep asking people for directions. 'But it's all good,' she says. 'I've seen basically every building on the entire campus now, so I'll have no trouble finding my classes next year.'

I watch Riley's face as Katie talks and I wonder if that's how I look when I'm listening to Bella. Because it's all there on Riley's face: pride, adoration, awe. All the things I feel when I listen to Bella talk about missing a year of school like it was no big deal and am reminded of how fucking strong she is, how resilient she's had to be to get to where she is today.

Maybe they sense me watching them, because Riley looks up and catches my eye. They brush some hair off their forehead and give me a small grin, an unspoken, 'I know, right?' Because we are some lucky fuckers to have these amazing women in our lives.

* * *

_MSA interview = Multiple Skills Assessment (part of the selection process for entry into Medicine). _


	25. Chapter 25

Miracles apparently do happen, because Dad manages to get through the entire meal without going on one of his rants. Sure, he's patronising as fuck, and he makes a lot of assumptions, but at least he doesn't start going on about immigration policy or pill testing trials or kids skipping school to strike for climate action. He doesn't even bust out his catchphrase—'the leftist agenda'—the whole afternoon.

Bella grows quieter as we move from the main course to dessert. She smiles as she listens to Mum, Katie, and Riley talking, but doesn't contribute much to conversation unless they ask her a question. So as soon as everyone has finished their slice of coffee and walnut cake, I start clearing the table. Bella jumps up to help me. Normally, I'd take the plates off her and insist that guests don't help with the dishes, but I'm actually glad to get a few minutes alone with her in the kitchen.

I set the plates on the bench and as soon as Bella has stacked her pile beside them, I pull her in for a hug. She melts into me, her head against my shoulder.

'You okay?' I ask.

'I'm really tired,' she says. 'Just mentally fatigued, you know?'

'Lots of social stuff today?'

She nods against my chest. 'Yeah. Lots of people-ing.'

'Do you want to take off?'

'Soon. We should—' She waves a hand towards the stack of plates.

'I'll deal with that.' I kiss her forehead. 'Do you wanna wait here while I load the dishwasher and then we'll say our goodbyes?'

'Yeah.' Bella kisses my chin and I dip my head to press my lips to hers. We kiss softly for a few moments before I reluctantly pull away.

'Give me a minute,' I say.

'You can have two,' Bella tells me with a smile. 'I'll rinse, you stack?'

* * *

When I pull up in front of Bella's place, I pull on the handbrake but don't switch off the engine. She's tired and I don't want to presume.

'Don't you want to come in?'

I run my hand through my hair. Of course I do. But I'm also conscious of the fact she seems pretty exhausted and might need to rest. Plus, I've monopolised a lot of her time already this weekend.

'Do you want me to? I wondered if you might need some space to chill and, you know, de-people.'

'You know you don't count as people.'

'Uh, sorry?'

Bella shakes her head. 'That probably didn't make sense. But it's like…' She sighs and I switch the engine off, waiting to understand what she's trying to tell me.

'Socialising can be pretty mentally draining, right? Remembering names and making small talk and putting in the work to keep conversations flowing. It's tiring. But then… there are people who are easy. There aren't many of them, but they're the people I can be quiet with. And not just quiet as in not talking. Quiet as in still. Peaceful. Does that make sense?'

'I think so.'

'I can count my easy people on one hand,' Bella says. 'And you've been easy since the second time we met.'

I don't really know what to say to that. I'm pretty overwhelmed and the only responses that come to mind seem either inadequate or too much too soon.

So I let my lips speak in other ways as I lean across the console and kiss her. I tangle my fingers in her hair and kiss her until I run out of air and when I can't kiss her anymore, I press my forehead against hers and try to catch my breath.

The corners of Bella's mouth lift as she fingers the hem of her dress. 'You know,' she says, 'I do distinctly recall you promising to get your hands up my dress. Plus, I'm wearing like, the most uncomfortable pair of undies I own because you liked the look of them.'

I swallow hard and pull away, tip my head back against the headrest. 'Your folks?'

'Will be at the sailing club until late tonight. They were going out on a friend's boat and then having dinner with them.'

I don't need her to ask me again. I'm out of the car and at her door, pulling her into my arms, kissing her neck as her giggles turn to gasps. She fumbles with her keys while I press my erection against her backside, keeping my promise as I slide my hands under her dress and squeeze her thighs and toy with the hem of her underwear. We almost fall through the front door when she finally manages to fling it open, but I wrap an arm around her waist and kick the door closed behind us.

'Bedroom,' she says, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the hall. She sweeps all the clothes she dumped on her bed earlier onto the floor and then I'm on top of her, her legs around my waist and my lips on her neck, her collarbones, back to her mouth. Her hands scrabble at my back as she arches beneath me and I grind into her and imagine how fucking amazing it will be to be inside her. I'm not in a rush to have sex with her just yet, though. It's been a long time since I just enjoyed exploring all the ways two people can make each other feel good and I'd almost forgotten how much fun it can be.

I hook one arm under Bella's thigh and then she's laughing into my mouth because I'm trying to get my other hand into her undies without actually pulling my hips back enough to give myself the space so I grab a handful of her arse and thrust my hips against hers until her giggles turn into groans.

Bella shoves her hands down the back of my shorts and grabs my arse and fuck me if that isn't a massive turn on. But then she grabs the waistband of my boxers and it's like she's trying to pull them off but she's actually pulling them up and giving me a hell of a wedgie.

'Bel, gimme a sec.' I get to my knees and pull my t-shirt off and unbutton my shorts. Bella uses her feet to push them down and then she sits up and lifts her hands so I can pull her dress over her head. She's not wearing a bra so I cover her tits with my hands and my lips. She fists my hair and holds me close as she squirms and whimpers and rubs herself against me.

I shift my weight off her and slide my knee between her thighs as I keep kissing her, deep and sloppy, and when I flick the hem of her underwear she moans into my mouth and grabs my wrist. And it's so fucking hot, the way she shoves my hand under the lace and then pushes it to where she wants it and when I lean down and swipe my tongue across her nipple her thighs clench around my wrist and she's telling me it feels so good and then she's crying out and coming and she's so, so fucking beautiful. When her shudders subside, her fingers wrap around my dick and maybe it should be embarrassing, how quickly I lose it, but it's not because it's Bella and doing this with her is the most natural thing in the world.


	26. Chapter 26

'So… you going to ask Bella to move in?'

I blink at Alistair over my bowl of muesli. He's perched on the arm of the sofa, dark circles under his eyes and creases in his scrubs. It's almost seven a.m.; he's just gotten home from night shift while I'm about to head out the door to work.

I mute the television—not that I was really watching it. 'I hadn't thought about it. I'm not even sure if she's looking to move out.' The idea of living under the same roof as Bella has obvious appeal, but even as head-over-heels as I am, I know it's way too early for that sort of discussion. 'Why do you ask?'

Al smothers a yawn against his shoulder. 'One of the speechies at work is looking for somewhere. I haven't mentioned it to her because I wasn't sure what you wanted to do. But if you're looking for someone to take Jasper's room, Rosalie seems pretty chill.'

I think about it for a moment. I've been covering the other third of the rent, purely because I've been so caught up with Bella that I haven't made the time to put an ad on Gumtree. On my wage, it's definitely not a sustainable solution and I do need to find someone sooner rather than later.

'Mention it to her,' I say. 'If she's keen, let's tee up a time for her to come over, see if she likes the room and if she'll be a good fit for us.'

'Sure thing.' Al runs his hand over his shaved head. When I first met him almost a year ago, he had long hair that he wore in a top knot kind of like Bella's. He shaved it all off his first week on the paediatric oncology ward, though, and I'm pretty sure he shaves it whenever he shaves his face. I've never asked him about it, but I assume it's a gesture of solidarity with the kids he's caring for. A number of the nurses, male and female, had shaved heads when Katie was on the ward.

'So, how you been, anyway?' he asks.

I can't help the smile that overtakes me. I probably look like one goofy motherfucker. 'Yeah, good. Really good.'

Al laughs. 'I see that, man.' He claps me on the shoulder. 'Bella makes you real happy.'

'Yeah.' I set my bowl on the coffee table and reach for my coffee. 'She's amazing.' I shake my head, partly because I'm still in disbelief at how quickly Cyclone Bella has stormed into my life and partly to dislodge the images flooding my mind. I don't really want to chit-chat with Al while sporting a hard-on.

'I'm stoked for you.' Al grins at me, then drops his gaze to his hands. He starts picking at his fingernails as he says, 'You spoken to Whitlock yet?'

I probably shouldn't be surprised by the question, but it actually does catch me off guard. Aside from a few brief moments of speculation when Bella's mentioned guys she's seen previously, Jasper hasn't really crossed my mind. There's probably some unwritten Bro Code that says it's shitty of me to be pursuing things with Bella when I've known Jasper for almost half my life, but I just can't bring myself to care. I don't feel like I owe him shit. Sure, we used to be mates, but we've grown apart and I've realised I actually can't stand the guy. And Bella is… well, she's incredible.

Still, Jasper and I have so many mutual friends that it's only a matter of time before we end up crossing paths. So it probably is something I need to consider. At the very least, I should talk to Bella about it all.

'Yeah, nah,' I say. 'I s'pose I should. I dunno. I'll talk to Bella about it.'

Al gives me a questioning look and I feel compelled to explain that Bella has known Jasper her entire life. 'Their mothers are best friends. So she might want to be the one to talk with him.'

'Fair enough.' Al yawns and gets to his feet. His back cracks as he stretches his arms over his head. 'I gotta shower and hit the sack. I'll catch ya later, man.'

He yawns again as he closed the bathroom door, and it makes me yawn, too. I take my bowl and mug back to the kitchen but don't rinse them so Al doesn't lose any water pressure in the shower. I grab my keys, wallet, and phone, grinning when I see I have a message from Bella.

_Bella: Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?_

I never really know what to expect when her name lights up my phone. Because she starts OOSH care at 6 a.m., I sometimes wake up to texts about something hilarious (or disgusting) the kids have said or done. Other days, I'm up first and will text her a good morning, only to have her call me, sleep lingering in her voice, so we can chat while I eat brekky. My favourite was the time she texted me the details of an erotic dream she'd just woken up from. I was already on the jobsite and it was bloody lucky I didn't need to use any power tools that morning—I probably would've lost a finger. I went home for 'lunch' that day.

I chuckle as I type out a quick reply—_Why?_—and grab my boots. By the time I've pulled them on and closed the front door behind me, Bella has responded.

_Bella: Because they're so good at it._

_Edward: lol. One of the kids tell you that?_

_Bella: Yeah. It cracked me up so I had to share it._

I hesitate for a moment before I type out my reply.

_Edward: I can't stop thinking about you either._

_Bella: Yeah, you got me. :)_

_Edward: When can I see you again?_

_Bella: Whenever you want to._

* * *

_yeah, nah = Australian for 'no.'_


	27. Chapter 27

_**My grandmother passed away yesterday, so please be patient with me if I'm slow to update over the next little while. Thanks. **_

* * *

'You're doing good. Just ease it out slowly.'

Bella's brow furrows in concentration. She eases her left foot off the clutch, but doesn't accelerate enough. The car jerks and stalls.

'Shit.' Bella sighs and reaches across to switch off the radio. I can tell she's frustrated, but she doesn't spit the dummy. Instead, she pulls the hand brake on, turns the key in the ignition, takes a deep breath, and readies herself to try again.

She stalls twice more before she gets the car moving. As soon as she gets going in first, she's fine. I've only taken her driving a handful of times, but she changes up and down gears smooth as can be, leaves a sensible gap between herself and the car in front, and parks neatly. It's just leaving the kerb or taking off after giving way that she's really struggling with.

'Take the next left.'

Bella's eyebrows lift, but she flicks the indicator on and takes her foot off the accelerator. She takes the corner the way I showed her yesterday, barely touching the brake and instead using the gears to slow the car before she turns, then accelerating around the bend.

'Nice,' I say. My supremely uneducated guess is that once her muscle memory takes over, she'll have the whole stopping and starting thing sorted—in my car, at least.

'Are you sure this is a good idea?' Bella murmurs as she checks her rear-view mirror. 'It gets pretty steep.'

'You'll be fine,' I promise her. 'There's next to no traffic this time of day. You won't need to do any stopping and starting until we get down to the beach.'

'Okay.'

I try not to talk too much as Bella navigates the drive. She listens to the engine, changing gears efficiently as we wind our way up the mountain and then back down the other side. I watch the muscles in her legs flex as she presses the pedals and shove my hands under my thighs to keep from trying to touch her while she's concentrating.

'You're driving home,' she says as she bears left at a fork in the road, heading towards the beach. 'I'm not touching that give way.'

'No worries.' It's a hill start on a pretty blind corner and I'm glad she noticed it now. I had forgotten about that particular intersection and I would've felt like a total dickhead if she'd had a hard time with it.

By the time Bella finds somewhere to parallel park and pulls the car over, the sun has sunk behind the mountain we've just driven over. It won't properly set for another two hours, but the light here has softened and the heat of the day is starting to seep away.

I slip my hand into Bella's as we make our way down onto the sand and she smiles up at me. The breeze toys with the wisps of hair that frame her face and suddenly my insides are trying to rearrange themselves again.

'Least it's low tide.' Her lips curl into a smirk.

I give her the reaction she wants, wiping at my brow in relief. We wander south, towards the rock pools, Bella tugging on my hand each time she stops to pocket a shell or a piece of sea glass.

'I used to come out here with Dad all the time,' I tell her.

'Yeah?'

'Yep. This is where he taught me to drive.'

She smiles at that. 'So that's why you decided to subject me to it, too?'

I shrug. 'I knew you'd be fine. You're doing great.'

Bella pulls me to a stop. 'You okay? Are Katie and your dad still fighting?'

I shove my fingers through my hair. 'I mean, they're not exactly fighting. Katie's staying with Riley and refusing to go home until Dad apologises, and Dad's wandering around acting all wounded because he can't bring himself to even try to understand why she's upset with him.' Even though he respected Riley's chosen pronouns while they were visiting, he sat Katie down afterwards to ask her what they 'really are.' Apparently, 'they identify as genderqueer' wasn't the answer my father wanted, because he kept pushing her on it, until Katie lost her shit and asked why the fuck he needed to know what Riley's genitals look like. 'Like, do you want to know exactly _how_ we fuck or something?'

'And your mum?'

I sigh. 'I have a horrible feeling she's drinking her way through it.' When I spoke to her last night, I had to ask her to repeat herself a few times, but I couldn't tell if the slur in her speech was induced by alcohol or emotion.

Bella wraps her arms around my waist. 'I'm sorry,' she says. 'Family tension is really difficult.'

I rest my cheek on the top of her head, closing my eyes and absorbing her tenderness. 'Yeah, it sucks.'

We pick our way over the rock pools, Bella crouching to observe starfish and sea anemones and little fish while I just enjoy watching her indulge her curiosity. When the shadows start to lengthen, Bella suggests we have dinner in the converted beach house turned swanky restaurant on the point. Neither of us are wearing shoes, but this early in the season, Tuesday nights are quiet enough that they're willing to ignore our sandy feet and casual clothes.

As we trade bites of hand-rolled pasta, I ask Bella if she thinks one of us needs to let Jasper know we're seeing each other.

She scrunches up her nose and reaches for her glass of sparkling water. 'I imagine he probably knows.'

At my questioning look, she elaborates. 'Our mothers are the biggest gossips in the known universe. If Jasper has spent any time in Maria's presence in the last few weeks, he'll know that she saw me holding hands with an outrageously handsome young man named Edward.'

'Right.'

'Is this because you're concerned about breaking some sort of bro code?'

I wipe my mouth and set my napkin beside my plate. 'Not really. I personally don't think either of us owe him shit. You especially. But Al brought it up with me, so I wanted to check if you're on the same page. 'Cause chances are, we'll run into him at something soon enough.'

Bella nods. 'Yeah, I guess we probably will.' She swallows a bite of campanelle and shrugs. 'To be honest, Edward, I don't think he ever had any genuine feelings for me. So if he does act like a moron, it will be because of some seriously fucked up possessiveness, which I have zero patience for.' She fixes me with a stare and I can see how easily she could control a class of rowdy kids if she needed to. 'I don't owe him anything, and neither do you. So I'm telling you now, I'll be incredibly ticked off if you get into a pissing contest with him.'

I don't really want to examine the psychology behind the fact that I'm getting turned on by Bella's firmness. I hold my hands up in surrender. 'That's fine. I'm not a fan of pissing contests anyway.' I tend to avoid confrontation where possible. Maybe that makes me a pussy, but shouting matches and fist fights aren't my style. 'Piss is fucking gross,' I add, trying to lighten the mood.

Bella snickers. 'For real. First piece of advice they gave me when I started in OOSH? Never tie up a little boy's shoelaces.'

'That's some wisdom right there.'

'Mmm-hmm.' Bella smiles and thanks the waiter who clears away our plates before she rests her chin on her hands. 'While we're talking about pissing contests… do you have any exes I need to worry about running into?'

My ears are suddenly very warm. 'Uh, no.'

Bella's eyebrows lift. 'Not a one?'

'The thing is'—I scratch the back of my neck—'I haven't actually had a girlfriend since high school. And Tanya, the girl I dated for two years when we were in school—she moved to the UK a couple of months ago.'

'Tanya.' Bella squints at me as she searches her memory. 'She used to live with you and Al, right? Before Jasper.'

I nod. 'Yeah. We stayed friends.'

Bella frowns for a moment before her expression clears. 'Ah, and you and Katie were living the nomad life for ages. So you just had a whole lot of casual sex?'

She smirks at me and I'm pretty sure I'm blushing hard. 'I, uh, I definitely wouldn't say a lot. Some, sure. But yeah, we weren't in one place for too long and to be honest, I wasn't really in the headspace to want anything more than the occasional hook up.'

Bella nods, and I can tell by the gleam in her eye that the next thing out of her mouth will make me squirm. 'You're pretty bloody good at it. You know, for someone who hasn't had a _lot_ of sex. I certainly don't have any complaints.'

_Game on_. I lean across the table and crook a finger at her. When she leans forward, I brush my lips against her cheekbone, then bite down gently on her earlobe. 'Bella, we haven't had sex yet.'

Her voice is a little shaky. 'Exactly.'

'Mmm. Well, think about how hard you came last time we messed around.' She exhales, her warm, humid breath caressing my cheek. 'Now think about how much better it's going to feel, coming while I'm inside you.'


	28. Chapter 28

_**Thanks so much for all your kind words. Writing is proving a good distraction from grief. **_

* * *

Because we seem set on torturing ourselves for a while longer, we don't go straight back to my place after dinner. Instead, Bella talks me into heading back down onto the beach. We head the opposite direction this time, towards the less inhabited end. When the distance between houses starts to increase, Bella stops and unzips her denim skirt. She pulls her singlet over her head, then reaches behind her back and undoes her bralette.

I quirk an eyebrow. 'You're not worried about sand getting, uh, everywhere?'

Bella slips off her underwear and tosses the scrap of black cotton at me. 'We're not having sex here,' she says. 'Not tonight, anyway. We're going skinny dipping.'

'What ab—'

'If you say anything about sharks right now, I'll bite you myself. You've got more chance of being trampled by an elephant than bitten by a shark.'

I would argue that, because there aren't any wild elephants on this continent, and there are definitely, definitely a shitload of sharks in the black expanse of water rippling in front of me. But they're probably mostly Port Jacksons and Grey Nurses, and Bella's basically right—they don't want me for dinner. I also don't want to waste time arguing with her while she's standing in front of me without a stitch of clothing on her ridiculously strong, sexy body. So I pull my shirt over my head, step out of my shorts and underwear, and grab Bella around the waist. She giggles as I propel us both towards the water. I let go of her as the waves tumble around our knees, not wanting to cause her to overbalance and fall.

We wade out into the water, arms flapping like chicken wings as the cool water swirls around our waists. A wave rolls in; I push off the sandy ground and launch myself over it while Bella ducks beneath it. She emerges with her eyes closed, her face tilted towards the sky. I follow her out past the breaking waves, relieved it's still shallow enough to stand. I'm a competent enough swimmer, but I wouldn't like to have to tread water in the dark for too long.

Warm arms land on my shoulders as Bella jumps on my back. She kisses my neck and wraps her legs around my waist. I tuck my hands under her thighs while she rests her chin on my shoulder. I can feel her tits pressing into my back.

'The water's nice tonight,' she says.

'There aren't any blue bottles, are there?' The ramifications of swimming naked dawn on me slowly. I've never been stung, and I'd really like to keep it that way.

Bella shakes her head. 'Nah. They'll usually come in on a nor'easter, so we're good.'

'Good.' I twist around until Bella and I are face to face, her legs still hooked over my hips. She knits her fingers into my hair and pulls my mouth down to hers. Her lips are salty and chilled but her kiss is heated. She groans into my mouth as I slide my hands down her back to cup her arse and grind into her. Her legs tighten around my waist as I tease her, trailing my fingers across her butt, under her thighs, between her legs. She squirms against me, and it's my turn to groan as she rubs herself all over my dick. I palm her breast then pinch her nipple, harder than I would instinctively because I know that's what she likes. She breaks the kiss, head falling back as she pants and wriggles in my arms and she's right _there_ and it would be so easy to push inside of her. I don't though, because I'm pretty sure the water would make it uncomfortable for her, and also because it's dark and we're mostly underwater and the first time I fuck her, I definitely want to be able to watch her every expression.

So I just keep kissing her, groping her, grinding against her until we both start to shiver. Teeth chattering, we stumble out of the waves. We drag our clothes back on over wet skin, sand clinging everywhere as we steal kiss after kiss.

'Do you need to go home tonight?' I ask as we trek back across the sand towards the street. 'Or can you sleep over?'

'Um, I'm supposed to start work at six.'

'I can drive you. Or you can drive; we'll log the time.'

Bella stops in her tracks, head tilted as she studies me. She sighs and takes my hands and I'm preparing for her to turn me down when she says, 'Would it be too much trouble if we swing past my place first? I need some clothes for tomorrow. And my pyjamas and some make up remover.'

I can't contain my grin. 'Definitely not too much trouble…' I bite my lip and press on. 'Maybe we should swing by the supermarket, too. Grab like, whatever shampoo and body stuff you use so you can leave them at mine?'

The streetlight above us flickers weakly, the light sparkling in Bella's eyes as she smiles up at me. 'That sounds like a plan.'


	29. Chapter 29

A few days after our sleepover, I get a text from Bella as I'm eating lunch.

_Bella: Can I come over this arvo?_

_Edward: For sure. I knock off around 4. _

_Bella: Ok. Thanks._

_Edward: everything ok?_

_Bella: Yes and no. Explain later._

Even though I take off early, Bella's waiting on my doorstep when I get home. She's got her arms wrapped around her legs and her cheek resting on her knee.

'Hey,' I say, sitting down beside her. 'What's going on?'

'Just a shit day.' I wrap an arm across her shoulders and she leans into me.

'You wanna tell me about it?'

Bella sighs and nods against my shoulder. 'It's not like… nothing specific happened. There's not an obvious incident I can tell you about and be like, that's why I'm feeling like crap.'

I kiss her hair. 'Okay. I get that.'

Bella pulls back a little and studies my face. She picks my hand up off her shoulder and ducks under my arm. She brings my hand to her lap, laces our fingers together. 'So, um, about half the people who have a traumatic brain injury experience depression in the year following the injury, right?'

'Okay.'

'But antidepressants are also a pretty common treatment for TBI's. Not just because they help with the emotional fallout of your brain being kinda fucked over, but because there's some research that shows they might actually help brain cells to grow and survive after trauma. So, I was on antidepressant meds for like a year after the accident.'

I squeeze her hand and wait for her to continue.

'Because of that, it's hard to say if I was depressed. I don't know. I had a lot of really bad days, but the medication may have meant I avoided the worst of it, on an emotional level.'

She falls silent for a while, but I don't say anything because I can tell she's not finished yet.

'Within seven years of a TBI, that statistic goes up from half to two-thirds of people. And it looks like I'm one of them.' She sighs and closes her eyes.

'I was doing really well for ages, but the last year or so, there have been a few really difficult periods. And it sometimes feels like… like they tend to come on after things have been really great. Like a really bad come down or something.'

If I were someone else, this new insight into Bella might have been a shock. Without my own experience, it might've been difficult to reconcile her resilience, her relentless positivity, with someone who struggles with their mental health. But really, it makes sense. It takes a fuckload of mental and emotional resources to be as strong as Bella has been—and is. It's understandable, then, that there will be times she can't sustain that strength, that she'll falter and struggle and need to let herself admit that she needs help.

I rub my chest and blow out a breath. I fucking hate talking about this, but I want to be honest with her. She's always been so open about her weaknesses, and I want to let myself be vulnerable with her, too.

'I spent a couple of years on antidepressants.'

Bella's hand tightens around mine.

'While Katie was sick, mostly. And for a bit afterwards.' I push the hand not wrapped in Bella's through my hair and close my eyes. 'I felt like shit, having to take them. In hindsight, I get that your sister having cancer is way too much for a teenager to deal with without some kind of help. Whether meds or counselling or _something_. But at the time I felt… just… absolutely pathetic. I was so fucking angry. At the universe or God or whatever for making Katie sick. And at myself. For not being able to cope the way I thought I should.'

'I'm so sorry.' Bella lifts her head and kisses my chin. 'That's such a huge burden for you to have had to carry so young.'

'It was hard,' I say. 'But it means… I told you because I want you to know that I get it. It's not the same situation or anything. But I understand the way life can throw so much shit at you, and sometimes you just handle it, and sometimes you don't and you fall apart. And sometimes you need some help to put yourself back together.'

'Thanks for telling me,' she says softly. 'I know it's not easy to show people your scars.'

My arse is going numb, sitting on the stoop. I get to my feet and offer Bella my hand. 'My butt is going numb. Come inside?'

Bella wraps her arms around my waist while I unlock the front door, and doesn't let go as I lead her into the kitchen. I fill up the kettle and while we wait for it to boil, pull her around so we're face to face. Bella immediately melts into me, tucks her head under my chin.

'So, a bad come down?'

She nods against my chest. 'Yeah. I hate it, because it's like… everything is so bloody good at the moment. I'm happy. Really, really happy. But it's like my brain can't handle that much happy and has to bring me crashing back down.'

'I'm sorry.' I kiss her forehead. There isn't anything I can say that will 'fix' her—because she doesn't need to be fixed. She just needs me to know what she's going through, and to stick with her while she fights her way through it.

'Don't be,' Bella says quietly. 'You're a huge part of the reason I'm so fucking happy right now.'

They're right there, those three words. They almost feel solid, like something in my mouth I need to spit out or swallow down. They can't stay where they are. But I'm not ready, and I don't think Bella is either. So I swallow hard and the words scrape their way back down my throat.

_Soon. I'll tell her soon._

Instead, I ask her what she needs. 'Ice cream and bad telly? A run on the beach? Two minute noodles and an early night?'

She manages a small smile. 'How about pizza delivery and cuddling on the couch until we fall asleep?'

I drop my hands to her hips and kiss her cheek. 'That's my specialty.'


	30. Chapter 30

_**Happy holidays! Merry Christmas! Have a heaps good Wednesday! Whatever you're celebrating, may your beer be cold, your pavlova light, and your company kind. **_

_**If you're like me and this time of the year is sucky AF because you're missing loved ones, fearing conflict, or dealing with bad memories, I'm sending you a whole lot of love and light. **_

* * *

I wrap a towel around my waist and, before I open the door, flick off the bathroom light. I don't want to disturb Bella.

Alistair had shaken me awake before he headed out on night shift. 'Go to bed, kids,' he said. 'You're gonna wake up with your necks fucked.'

Bella and I had untangled ourselves and stumbled towards my bedroom, flicking off lights as we went. Bella had stepped out of her shorts and climbed into my bed, and was asleep again before I'd pulled off my shirt. Because I had fallen asleep beside her in my work gear, I decided to take a quick shower, not wanting to get into bed still wearing the day's sweat and grime.

The problem is, once I step out of the bathroom, I realise I'm no longer tired. We probably fell asleep before seven o'clock, and my body clock is now thoroughly confused. While I would be quite content to just lie in bed and watch Bella sleep, it seems a little too stalkerish. So I flip my lamp on, and when Bella doesn't stir, dig through my bedside table for the novel I haven't picked up in months.

It's not a particularly challenging read, something Katie and my mum would call a 'beach read,' so I pick up the thread of the narrative pretty quickly.

I've read about fifty pages when Bella rolls over and blinks up at me.

'What the fuck?' Her voice is thick with sleep.

'Al kicked us off the couch,' I explain. I glance at the time. 'Maybe an hour ago. You were pretty zonked.'

She shakes her head. 'No, I know that.' She swallows. 'I meant, what the fuck are you wearing?'

I look down at my bare chest. 'Uh…'

'The glasses, Edward,' she says, exasperation tinging her voice. 'Since when do you wear glasses?'

I shrug, feeling my ears grow hot. 'I only need them for reading, or if I spend a lot of time working on the computer. So they don't get much use these days.' I could probably count the number of times I've worn them this year on one hand.

'You know they're really fucking hot, right?'

'Uh…' I mean, when I was first prescribed them, Tanya told me not to stress because I looked 'fine.' She definitely didn't have the kind of reaction Bella is. Maybe it's the newer frames…

'I didn't know you were much of a reader,' Bella says. She reaches for my book, turning it in my hands so she can check out the front cover. 'Any good?'

I shrug, dog-earring my page and tossing the book back on to my bedside table. 'It's okay. I bought it because I needed an easy read for when I can't sleep.'

Bella smiles and runs her fingers through hair. 'I know it's like the absolute worst thing for insomnia, but I'm a compulsive Instagram-scroller when I can't sleep.'

'I like to read,' I tell her. 'I know it doesn't fit with the tradie stereotype, but I was a bit of a nerd in high school.'

Bella nods. 'Yeah, when we had lunch at your folks', Katie told me that you're smarter than she is.'

'She did?' I shake my head, frowning. 'That's definitely not true.'

'She also said you'd say that.' Bella pushes herself up to sit and gathers her hair up into one of her wobbly buns.

'Well, as my dad will tell you, I couldn't hack the pressure of the HSC and I bombed out. Badly.' Keeping my promise to travel with Katie had been easy when I didn't get the marks needed for any of the uni courses I had applied for.

Bella's expression softens. 'You had a lot to deal with while you were still a teenager,' she says quietly.

'So did you. So did Katie.' I shrug, giving her a small smile. 'It's okay. I was really upset with myself for a couple of months after school finished. But I met heaps of people when Katie and I were travelling—people who had taken all different paths in life. And eventually I realised my ATAR wasn't the sum total of my life. I'm happy with where I'm at.' It's true that I'm a couple of years behind a fair number of my peers, but I know where I'm headed and I know I'll get there.

I push my hand through my hair and sigh. 'How are you feeling, anyway?' I nudge Bella's shoulder with mine.

'Yeah. A bit better,' she says. She smiles small. 'Sleep helps. Sometimes. It's like hitting reset, I guess.'

'Yeah, I get that.'

Bella yawns and stretches 'I think we went to sleep too early, though.'

I chuckle. 'Yeah. I reckon you're right.'

'What time is it?'

'Half past eleven. Are you hungry? I don't have any crumpets, sadly. But there was some pizza left over, or I've got some sourdough we can toast.'

Bella contemplates the offer before she shakes her head. 'Nah, I'm not hungry.' She wriggles back down under the covers and turns to me, her expression morphing to one I recognise—one that usually means she's about to make me a very happy man.

'Come here,' she says. I move to take my glasses off when she grabs my arm. 'Leave them on.'

Smirking, I roll on top of her, settling between her legs. My body reacts immediately, my stomach swooping, my dick growing hard.

'You're so fucking gorgeous,' I tell her.

She arches up to kiss me. 'Just for that…' she says, a little breathlessly. She pushes me back on to my back and moves down the bed. Her fingertips sweep down my thighs, dragging goosebumps to the surface.

I shake my head. 'Bel. You don't have to.' I never want her to be uncomfortable or apprehensive when we're being intimate.

Bella smirks up at me. 'Shush. Just give me a heads up.' She snickers at her own choice of words, before she kisses my hip and takes hold of me.

I'm being honest when I say I could absolutely live without this if it was something Bella really didn't enjoy. But that doesn't mean it isn't fucking unreal, the feel of her strong hands and her warm, wet mouth moving on me. More than that though, it's the way she meets my gaze, the way she smirks up at me like she knows exactly how good she's making me feel. It's just Bella, really. I'm completely in love with her.

I stroke her cheek. 'You gotta stop, mate.'

She shifts to the side, still stroking me as she reaches up and wraps her other arm around my neck. She pulls me down to kiss her. I kiss her hard until I lose control and I come, forehead pressed against hers, groaning and gasping into her mouth.

It takes me a while to catch my breath. Bella bounces off the bed and returns with a towel. Once I've cleaned up, I toss the towel in the direction of the en-suite and wrap my fingers around Bella's ankle, tugging until she's sprawled across my bed. I hook my fingers into her underwear and drag it down her legs, then nudge her knees apart. I rest my head against her thigh and reach for her hand.

'Show me,' I say, 'how you do it.'

Bella looks at me, lip between her teeth, before she nods. She's already squirming as she walks her fingers down over her abdomen and between her legs.

'Fuck me.' It's the single most erotic thing I've seen in my life. And then Bella arches her back and grabs a handful of my hair. I do what she wants and put my mouth on her until shudders run through her body and she cries out my name.


	31. Chapter 31

I'm at work when Alistair sends me a text to let me know he's organised for Rosalie to come check out the place on Thursday evening. I send him a thumbs up, then call Bella and ask her if she can come over, too.

'Are you sure?' she says softly. The worksite is noisy as fuck today and I have to press my phone hard against my ear to hear her. 'It's your and Al's place. It doesn't really matter what I think.'

'Well, it kinda does,' I say. I wipe sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. December has rolled on in a right temper. The sun is fierce and the days scorching; the nights are still and sullen. 'You'll be around a lot, and it matters to me that you feel comfortable here.'

I hear her soft sigh scrape across the microphone. 'And what if Al and I have differing opinions on her? That leaves you in an awkward position, Edward.'

She's right, of course. If Al is set on having Rosalie move in—and he already knows her well enough to have suggested her as a potential housemate—and it turns out that Bella doesn't feel comfortable with her, then I'm going to have to overlook one of their opinions. But then, I don't want to live with someone who doesn't get on with my girl, so I decide to go with my gut on this. 'Let's just cross that bridge when we come to it. If we come to it.'

'If you're sure.'

'I'm sure.'

'All right then.' I can hear the smile in her voice and it confirms that I'm making the right call. 'Oh. Edward, are you free next weekend?'

'Pretty sure. What's up?'

'So, here's the thing.' Some hesitation creeps into her voice. 'My folks are having their big Christmas get together next Saturday night, and I was hoping you'd come.'

'Of course.' I can't understand where her apprehension is coming from. I've met both her parents now and didn't get any hostile vibes from them. Her dad even invited me to go crabbing with him—although I think it was more a token gesture of approval than a genuine invite.

But then she says, 'The Whitlocks will be here.'

_Ah. That's where._

I walk to the edge of the deck I've been sanding and sit down, my legs dangling over the edge. I pull my cap off and, grinning to myself as I remember the first time I met Bella, put it on again backwards.

Mick looks up from the ground floor and yells something about not wanting to fork out for Worker's Comp if my dumb arse falls off the balcony. I give him a mock salute and he flips me off, shaking his head. I'm in his good books at the moment because I'm the only one who's consistently ahead of where they need to be if he's going to have this place ready before Christmas.

'Are you worried about me making a scene?' I tease Bella gently. 'I already promised. No pissing contests.'

'Not exactly.' She sighs. 'I know you wouldn't go out of your way to start anything.'

'But?'

'But you know what a prick Jasper can be when he wants to be.'

Yeah, I do. Most of the time he comes across as a pretty gregarious motherfucker, but the dude also has a really spiteful streak.

'Bel, I'm not worried about him. There's literally nothing he could say that's going to bother me.' I mean, how could it? It's not like I'm unaware of his and Bella's history. I know they grew up together. I know she had a crush on him for ages. I know they've hooked up. And I'm pretty sure they've slept together.

Here's the thing, though: Bella's with me.

'Okay.' I love the way Bella takes me at my word. 'Well, I'm really glad you'll be there.' She giggles. 'Although I do apologise in advance for all the innuendo my pseudo-aunts will lob your way.'

I chuckle. 'No dramas.'

Mick pokes his head out of the sliding door behind me. 'I'm not paying you to chat to pretty girls, Cullen.' He says it too loudly, making sure Bella can hear him.

I shake my head as Bella giggles.

'All right,' she says. 'You should go.'

'Yeah, probably. Hey, remember to put Thursday evening in your calendar.'

'Doing it right now.'

* * *

When Bella arrives on Thursday evening, I can tell she's upset. I can see it in the tightness of her smile, the way she doesn't quite meet my gaze when she steps inside. I don't ask her what's wrong, though, because Rosalie and Alistair are already sitting on the sofa, discussing which amenities are covered by the rent.

'Sorry I'm late,' Bella says quietly. 'I didn't forget. I just forgot that I'd need to ask Dad for a lift. He was on a call so I had to wait 'til he finished.'

My stomach drops as I pull her in for a quick hug and press my lips to her forehead. 'I'm sorry,' I say. 'I should've thought to pick you up.'

'And I should've thought to ask you to.' Bella shrugs. 'We could go around in circles all night.'

I let it go. 'Bel, this is Rosalie. Rosalie, this is my girlfriend, Bella.' It's the first time I've gotten to introduce Bella that way and it sends a rush of emotion swooping through me.

It's sort of fascinating, watching as Bella pulls on her social-butterfly mask. It's also slightly heartbreaking. Her smile is wide and friendly, and it's only because I know her so well that I can see the effort that goes into it.

'Hi, Rosalie! How are you? I love your lipstick. That colour looks absolutely amazing on you.'

Bella's told me before that she never says 'pleased to meet you' because it's one of the lines that can cause her—and the person she's talking to—some discomfort. If it turns out she has met the person before, then it makes it really obvious that she doesn't remember them. 'And no one likes to think they made that little an impression on someone.'

Bella moves towards the couch, her hand extended. Rosalie smiles up at her politely and says, 'Thank you. It's really nice to meet you, Bella.'

I see Bella's shoulders relax slightly and her smile grow a little more genuine. 'You, too,' she says. Now that she's confirmed Rosalie doesn't know her, and that she doesn't have to fake her way through their interaction, she's more at ease.

Bella gestures for me to take the empty armchair, then sits on the floor in front of me, her back against my shins.

Alistair has already walked Rosalie through the house and shown her the available room, and she's indicated she's pretty keen to rent it. So all we need to do is work out whether she'll be a good fit for us.

I don't really know where to start, so I go with the banal. 'So you work at the hospital, too, Rosalie?'

She nods, wavy blonde hair bobbing against her shoulders. 'Yeah, I'm a speech pathologist.'

'Gonna show my ignorance here,' I say. 'Is that like… You help kids with lisps and stuff learn to speak more clearly?'

Rosalie smiles like she's used to having to explain her job to people. 'That can be part of it,' she says. 'Basically our area is problems with speech, language, communication, and also swallowing. We work with both children and adults. Sometimes we're working with issues arising from a congenital condition, or it can be problems that have resulted from an injury or illness.' She tips her head towards Alistair. 'In my current role, I do a lot of work with children who have problems swallowing and feeding more generally. Kids who have had nasogastric feeding tubes often struggle with oral aversion so we try to help there. When kids have had mouth or throat surgery, we can help with rehab. Or we might need to work with kids who have conditions that are impacting their cognitive-linguistic function. It's a pretty broad area.'

Rosalie's patience with my ignorance definitely scores her points in the 'could live with this person' column.

Bella's fingers wrap around my ankle as she speaks up. 'I worked with a speech pathologist after my accident,' she says. 'She was super helpful.' Rosalie's curiosity is evident, but she doesn't push for more information. She does nod in understanding when Bella says, 'I had a traumatic brain injury a few years ago.'

The fact that Bella feels comfortable enough to volunteer this information earns Rosalie another tick in my column. I wait to see if Bella wants to add something more, but when she doesn't say anything further I ask Rosalie if there's anything else she wants to know about the place.

She shakes her head. 'Not that I can think of.' She glances at the three of us in turn and says, 'None of you seem the type for wild, drug-fueled parties on a Tuesday night.'

'We save them for Wednesdays.' Al chuckles at his own joke. 'Nah, I'm on nights for another month or so, before I go back to rotating between days and nights. So you won't see heaps of me initially.' He smirks. 'And I assume these two understand basic decency and aren't like, fucking on the couch while I'm out.'

'Al.' Annoyed, I shake my head at him—even as my face heats at the memory of the first night Bella stayed over.

Bella surprises me by piping up. 'We only fuck on the kitchen table, Rosalie,' she says, just the right amount of boredom in her tone. 'But we disinfect it afterwards so it doesn't count.'

Rosalie snorts and points at me. 'The way your eyes just glazed over, I'm genuinely concerned. Maybe I'll just eat in my room.'

Like it's my fault my mind is flooding with images of what it would be like to fuck Bella on the kitchen table.

'No food in the bedrooms,' Al says. 'Ed's super anal about that. No food in the bedrooms, no wet towels on the carpet, and no piss on the toilet seat.'

'Oh, really?' Rosalie sighs. 'That could be an issue. I'm kind of like a sprinkler when I wee.'

Bella dissolves into giggles and Al looks at me, his shoulders shaking with laughter. I nod. Rosalie should fit right in here.


	32. Chapter 32

After Rosalie leaves, having signed a three month trial lease, Al mumbles something about meeting a colleague for coffee before work and takes off.

'I think he's going on a date,' Bella says, her gaze still on the front door. 'He's been so shifty lately.'

'Really?' I hadn't noticed anything different about him, but to be honest, I haven't been paying much attention.

She nods. 'Yeah. He's being overly vague. Like leaving out specifics to the point it's super suss.'

'Huh.'

Bella sighs and leans back on the sofa, lifting her feet onto the coffee table. 'I'm not allowed to do this at home,' she says. 'Makes me feel like I'm being such a rebel.'

I smile and copy her. 'My dad would lose his shit if he saw us right now.'

We're quiet for a few moments before Bella says, 'Rosalie.'

I frown before I realise that she's reminding herself. 'She has a tattoo of a rose on her wrist,' I offer. 'It's blue. Like those old school plates and cups.' I noticed it when she shook my hand before she left.

Bella makes a 'huh' noise. 'A rose a-lies on Rosalie's wrist. That could work.' She scrunches her nose. 'As long as I don't fuck it up and call her Rosa-_lie_ instead of Rosa-_lee_.'

'You told her about your injury,' I say gently. 'I'm sure that with that in mind, she'd be understanding if it takes you a little while to remember.'

Bella is quiet for so long I start to wonder if I've fucked up somehow.

'Sometimes I wish people didn't have to understand,' she says. Tears glimmer in the corners of her eyes. 'I wish my brain just worked like it used to. When I didn't have to come up with all these stupid, elaborate ways of trying to make something stick in it.'

'Hey. C'mere.' I tug on Bella's hand and she comes into my lap willingly, immediately pressing her forehead against my shoulder. 'I'm sorry, Bel. I know I don't fully get it, but I can see how hard this is for you, and I'm sorry.'

She sighs, her warm breath spreading across my collarbones. 'I'm just feeling sorry for myself today. Ignore me.'

'You're allowed to feel sorry for yourself,' I tell her. 'You're so strong like, all the time. It's okay to have moments when you're not.'

Bella pulls back, frowning at me. 'Do you ever not know what the perfect thing to say is?'

'Sorry?'

'Like, how is it you always say exactly what I need to hear? Don't you ever just want to tell me to get over myself?'

I'm completely taken aback by Bella's burst of frustration, but she's still in my lap so I decide to take that as a good sign.

'Bella, I—'

'Doesn't it ever just piss you off? When I forget shit or I'm late because I've forgotten shit or when I'm moping and complaining about stuff being hard? It kind of freaks me out that you're so even-tempered all the time.'

I rub her shoulder gently, trying to figure what on earth I'm meant to say. 'I… I'm not perfect, Bella. I'm sure, I mean, there probably will be times that I'll get impatient or frustrated. I don't know.' I blow out a breath and pick my next words carefully. 'I don't know what's going on, but it feels like you're looking for a reason to fight me. And I've gotta say, I really don't understand why.'

'Because I'm not supposed to tell you I love you until we've had a fight and made up.' Bella's eyes go wide and maybe this time she didn't mean to be quite so honest.

I blink at her. My mouth opens and closes again. 'I'm sorry, what?'

'That's what Jess said. We haven't fought and had to patch things up, so she said I can't really know if I love you yet.'

I don't know whether to laugh or kiss her senseless. 'So… you thought you'd pick a fight to move things along?'

She nods, her cheeks turning pink. 'But you're really hard to fight with,' she says. 'If I hadn't seen you flip out on Jasper that time, I'd legit believe you don't actually have a temper to lose.'

I roll my eyes at her. 'I'm human, Bel. I have a temper, believe me. And yeah, sometimes I lose it.' I sigh and push my thumb into the tight muscles in my neck. 'I do try to keep a lid on it, though, because I've got a very smart, very feminist sister who's drilled into me the fact that outbursts of anger—particularly from grown-ass men—can be frightening. And the idea of scaring anyone, especially someone I love, makes me sick to the stomach.'

Bella stares at me. 'You're worried about scaring me?'

I run my hand through my hair. 'I mean, it's not something that's often at the forefront of my mind. But those times I do feel my temper rising, I try to work through it, rather than letting my anger get the better of me.'

'I love you,' Bella says. 'I know it. I don't even care that we haven't had a fight and made up. I love you.'

Emotion bubbles through me, and unexpectedly, tears prick the corners of my eyes. I blink and my nostrils sting as I try to rein myself in. I swallow around the lump in my throat and press my mouth to Bella's, kissing her hard. She parts her lips to deepen the kiss and I pull back, my hands on her cheeks as I look her directly in the eye. 'I love you,' I say.

Bella grins huge. 'You do?'

I nod. 'I really do. I've been wanting to tell you for a while but I was worried about coming on too strong too quickly.'

'Oh, thank God.'

Bella grabs a fistful of my shirt and yanks my face to hers. We kiss and kiss, clumsy and a little messy with the emotion coursing through us, until we both have to pull away, gasping for breath. Her fingers creep under the hem of my shirt and her lips find my neck. She kisses her way up my throat to beneath my ear before she bites my earlobe gently, making me groan.

'We told Al we wouldn't fuck on the couch,' she says softly, her breath hot on my cheek. 'Take me to your room.'


	33. Chapter 33

**_Serious note: My country is on fire. If you are able, please consider donating to the Red Cross, WIRES, or the RFS/CFA. (Because ffn doesn't let us post links, the easiest option is probably to look up the comedian Celeste Barber on FaceBook and hit the donate link there.) I can't overstate how horrific the situation is. So far these fires have taken more than 20 lives, destroyed thousands of homes, and killed over half a BILLION animals. They've burned more than five times the area destroyed in the Californian fires of 2018, and four times the area lost in the Amazon in 2019. And we've still got almost three months of Summer to go. It's utterly heartbreaking._**

* * *

_**Much less serious note: I'm nervous AF about this chapter. These two honest MFers push me waaaaay outside my comfort zone.**_

* * *

I'm breathless and damp with sweat. My limbs are heavy, my mind sluggish as my heartbeat starts to slow. I grab some tissues from beside the bed and toss the used condom in the bin. I trace my fingertips across Bella's thigh, which is draped across my hips. She twitches and squirms, which makes me smile lazily.

'Thought you weren't ticklish,' I say.

Bella whimpers. 'I'm not.' The muscles in her legs flex and she wriggles again. 'I don't… it's like I'm still coming. Like little aftershocks or something.'

When Bella had asked me to take her to my room, I hadn't hesitated. I set her on her feet and took her hands in mine.

'I love you,' I said again. Having finally let myself speak those words, it almost felt like I needed to make up for all the times I'd wanted to say them and hadn't.

Bella grinned up at me. 'We've established this,' she said. 'Now would you please _make_ love to me?'

I nodded. 'Yeah. Definitely. Let's do that.'

Bella giggled and started backing towards my room. She pulled her t-shirt over her head and tossed it at me. I caught it reflexively, but my focus was on her newly revealed lavender bralette and the dark pink of her nipples visible through the swirls of lace.

I caught her around the waist and spun her into my room, closed the door and pressed her up against it. I kissed her soft then hard, my hands moved from her waist to knead her arse and then up to thumb her nipples through her bra.

'Sometimes I wish I had more hands,' I blurted. I groaned inwardly. _I'm a deadset moron._

Bella snickered and shook her head. She kissed me again, her tongue sliding against mine and making me groan for an entirely different reason. Her fingers found the waistband of my shorts, and she made quick work of the button and zip. She yanked them down, taking my underwear with them. I pulled my shirt over my head and then reached for Bella's breasts again, pinched her nipples gently.

'Harder,' she said, just like I knew she would. _I love it when she tells me what she wants._ I obeyed and she arched into my hands, little grunts escaping her as I pinched and tugged and twisted.

Bella grabbed my wrists, stopping me from teasing her, and pushed me towards the bed. I flopped down on my back and grinned up at her as she removed the rest of her clothes.

She crawled over me to rummage through my bedside table. I took the opportunity to kiss as much skin as I could find, then slipped my hand between her legs.

'Don't stop,' she mumbled. She swore at the uncooperative plastic she was trying to remove from the box of condoms. 'Gotchya. Oh, God. Yes, just like that, Edward.' She managed to pull a condom from the box. I heard it land on the pillow beside my head as I closed my lips around her nipple.

'Oh, fuck. Okay, no. You gotta stop. I'm too close already.'

I removed my hands from her body and fumbled around until I found the condom. Bella watched closely as I put it on, which made me feel a little self-conscious—_Was I doing it wrong? It had been a while_. That is, until she told me, 'That's so fucking hot.'

I shook my head at her and grabbed her thighs, trying to pull her closer to where I needed her. She made me work for it, smirking down at me until I said, 'Bel, I wanna be inside you.' Apparently she liked that because her smirk slipped and she made a little 'uhh' noise and immediately shifted her body so she was right where I wanted her.

I gripped her hips as she lifted up and then sank down on me, pausing when I was all the way inside her. We stared at each other, lips parted, eyes wide, like we couldn't really wrap our heads around the fact it was actually happening.

As soon as Bella started to move, grinding and rocking and sliding against me, I knew I wasn't going to last long. I was already there, teetering on the edge and doing everything I could to hold on until she came. She slumped forward, hands on my chest as she continued to swivel her hips, and I took the opportunity to pinch her nipples, which made her groan and move faster. Her eyelids were heavy, her mouth open, as she looked down at me. I pulled her down until I could reach her tits with my mouth and the change of angle and the added stimulation seemed to be exactly what she needed because she started up a litany of oh, fucks, and yes, Edwards as she ground against me.

When her back arched and her thighs tightened around my hips and she cried out, I grabbed her hips and thrust up into her. It only took two or three strokes before I was right there with her, my orgasm crashing over me and dragging me under.

Bella grinds her hips and whimpers again, and the lethargy that had settled over me drains away in an instant. I trail my fingers up her thigh and slip them between her legs. She moans as I circle my fingertips. 'Yeah? Can you go again?'

'I don't know… oh, God. I think… Yeah. Yes.' She gasps again, her hips pressing back against my hand. I tease her for a few minutes, listening to her whimpers and feeling the way she moves, and backing off when I can sense she's getting close.

Just as I decide to stop teasing her, Bella lets out a strangled cry and pushes up onto her hands and knees. Her eyes are feral as she presses me into the bed, her hips against mine. She grinds all over my dick for a moment, but it just gives this feeble twitch because even though I'm insanely turned on, it's going to be a little while before I can get properly hard again.

I grab her hips but Bella pulls back and yanks my hands off her. She pins them above my head, which is just the sexiest fucking thing ever. She kisses her way across my chest and then up my throat. I groan out her name and she shakes her head at me.

'It's not nice to tease,' she says. Her lips curl up in a smirk as she crawls up my body. Her hands find the wall as she settles her knees either side of my head. As she looks down at me, her expression grows serious. 'This okay?' she murmurs.

In answer, I grab her arse and press her forward until my mouth is on her. I lick and suck and kiss until her head falls back and her thighs shake and she comes with my name on her breath.

This time, when she curls into my side, her body is still and her breathing heavy. I trace my fingertips across her thigh and she mumbles something about being dead. I crane my neck so I can kiss her, and she blinks at me, her eyes sleepy. It's probably dumb, but there's something about knowing that I've loved her so well that makes me feel a jolt of pride.

'Next time,' Bella mutters, 'I want you on top. And then we get started on that list.'


	34. Chapter 34

_**I've been really moved by the thoughts, prayers, and donations so many of you have sent down here as Australia continues to battle bushfires. You're all amazing. It's looking like Friday is going to be another scary day, so cross all the things for us, **_**_wouldya?_**

* * *

Katie calls me when I'm on my way home from TAFE after our final day of classes for the year. I click the button on my headphones to take the call. I'd put them in because I was planning on calling Bella while I drove home but Katie's beaten me to it.

'S'up, Katie-cakes?'

'You're in a good mood,' she says.

'And?' I feel like I'm pretty much always in a good mood at the moment. Yeah, work is a slog and Mick's busting all our arses because he really wants this place finished in time for the owners to move in before Christmas. But most days, I get to spend my afternoons or evenings hanging out with Bella and then my nights with her in my bed. And the things that happen there make me very, very happy.

'Things with Bella are good, then?'

'They're great.' I smirk to myself as my mind tosses up a few choice images of the fun we had the night before last, working our way through our 'list.'

'I can tell you're thinking about sex right now,' Katie says. 'And FYI, it's gross.'

I chuckle. 'Fair enough.' Frankly, I'd be squicked out if I thought too much about my sister having sex. To push that thought right out of my mind, I say, 'What can I do for you?'

Katie sighs. 'Not much. I just wanted to tell you that I'm back at home.'

'Yeah?' Mum had texted me to let me know Katie was going over to talk with Dad last night. It mustn't have been the disaster I anticipated then. 'That's good, right?' It's stinking hot in my car, so I roll the window down and lean my right arm on the sill. I think the aircon needs to be re-gassed, which is fantastic because I was really hoping to blow $200 on my car just before Christmas.

'I guess.' Katie clicks her tongue. 'It's like… I don't get why it's so hard for Dad to accept that there's more nuance to the world than he was told, you know? Mum's managed fine. Even Pop is more progressive than Dad is. I just don't understand him.'

I don't have an answer for her, so I just hum my agreement and wait for her to continue.

'Anyway, he apologised for being an insensitive fuck—I'm paraphrasing, obviously—and he said that he nearly lost me to something he couldn't control and so he can't bear the thought of losing me to something he can control. He's promised to be respectful of Riley and my relationship and not to pry about things that aren't his business.'

I'd bet anything it was Mum who put the idea about losing Katie over something Dad could control in his head. And good on her.

'Well, good,' I say. 'All that should matter to him is that you're healthy and happy and that you've found someone who loves you as much as you love them.'

'Right? But speaking of… I have a check-up next week.'

My stomach drops. I swallow hard and focus on the feel of the steering wheel beneath my palms. The vinyl is warm and the stitching is coming loose behind my left index finger.

'Okay,' I manage. 'Is there any cause for concern?' Initially Katie's check-ups happened every three months, then every six. Now, she only has to have one a year. The doctors told us the anxiety we feel as the appointments approach would fade over time and with each all-clear Katie is given, but to be honest, we're not there yet. I'm not, anyway. There's still that 'what if?' that's impossible to suppress.

'Nah,' Katie says. 'I'm fine.' As if she knows I'm not going to stop worrying that easily, she continues, 'Seriously, Ned. I'm okay. I know what I'm supposed to be watching for and nothing has tripped any alarms for me, okay? I mean, I didn't even get a cold this past winter. I'm perfectly healthy.'

'All right,' I say. I'm still going to worry, but I don't want Katie to worry about me worrying. 'Let me know how it goes, okay?'

'You know I will.'

* * *

As soon as the private schools break up for the year, the population of our beachside suburb just about doubles. SUVs clog the main street and dudes in boat shoes park their Beamers across multiple spaces. The beaches are packed with tourists and the poor bastards working as council lifeguards spend most of their days begging people to swim between the flags and trying to explain that yes, that patch of water does look nice and calm but that's because there's a freaking rip there and getting dragged out to sea is about as fun as it sounds.

And then there are the jetskis. Glorified aquatic scooters that buzz around the beaches like swarms of noisy mosquitoes, ridden by complete gronks who have no regard for the eight knot speed limit, the surfers lined up out the back, or the small children playing at the water's edge. I'm sure there are people who can ride jetskis without making nuisances of themselves, but they sure as hell don't holiday around here.

The first time I see Bella completely lose her shit is when a middle-aged bloke on a jetski nearly mows down a preteen girl on a bodyboard. The girl manages to duck dive out of the way but the idiot flips his jetski when he tries to change direction at the last minute. He comes up spluttering and yelling abuse at the girl.

Bella hands me her phone before she sprints straight into the water. The girl looks completely terrified as she scrambles onto her board and waits for a wave to ride to shore. Bella is waiting for her, waist deep in the whitewash, when she makes it in.

I watch from the sand as Bella talks to the girl, hunching over so they're eye to eye. She pats the girl's shoulder and the girl nods, her expression full of relief. When the girl wades out of the surf and gathers her board under her arm, I expect Bella to follow.

She doesn't.

Instead, she swims, her strokes compact and efficient, further out towards where the wanker is trying to climb back onto his jetski. He's having a hard time of it, which I find perversely satisfying.

Bella treads water for a while and I can tell from the way she occasionally flings her arm at the guy that she's tearing him a new one. And then, bizarrely, she swims over to the ski and helps the idiot clamber back on. _How typically Bella._

When she emerges from the surf, water cascading from the hem of her skirt, she stalks back up the sand towards me.

'Motherfucking arsehole. Did you see that? He could've killed her, or at least hurt her really badly. Where did she go?' She looks around wildly until she spots for the young girl. She's bundled in a towel and sandwiched between a woman I assume is her mother and a younger boy who is filling a bucket with sand. The mum waves at Bella and calls out a thank you. Bella waves back and gives her a thumbs up.

'I swear, those morons on their PWCs are the most selfish fuckwits in the known universe. If they're within two hundred metres of the shore they're only allowed to go in a straight fucking line. They're not supposed to drive in fucking circles and launch off the back of fucking waves for fuck's sake.' She lets out a growl of frustration which is actually cute as all get out, but only because it's not directed at me.

'I don't think you said fuck enough times in that rant,' I joke.

Bella's eyes flash but then she grins up at me. 'Fuck you.' She chuckles, pleased with herself for that one.

'Please do.' Bella angry is a bit of a turn on. Or I'm just always turned on by Bella and right now she happens to be angry.

She sighs and kicks sand at my ankles. 'Come on, then,' she says. 'I need to change anyway. Might as well have some fun in the process.'

* * *

_In NSW, most private schools break up for the summer holidays a week or two before the public schools._

_gronk = idiot/moron; __PWC = personal watercraft. And yeah, I know. Hashtag not all jetskis. ;) _


	35. Chapter 35

The day of Bella's folk's Christmas party is an absolute stinker. Forty-two degrees in the shade and a gusty westerly wind, it's the kind of day that has you constantly sniffing the air for the scent of bushfire smoke. When I get to their place, Bella's old man, Charlie, is in the kitchen, sweat dripping from his eyebrows as he scowls at a massive pork loin through the oven door.

'He was going to spit roast it over his Weber,' Bella tells me. She's almost whispering, like she doesn't want to remind her dad about why he's so pissed off. 'He's been talking about it for weeks.'

'Bugger.' There's a total fire ban in place for the next forty-eight hours, which means he can't use a barbeque that burns solid fuel. I take a look at the meat sizzling away in the oven. 'Crackling's coming up nice, Charlie,' I offer.

Bella's dad looks at me, moustache twitching, before he nods. 'It's looking okay,' he concedes. 'Be better on the Weber but what can you do?'

Bella rolls her eyes and tugs my elbow. 'Come on.'

I expect her to lead me outside to help with setting up, but instead she shoves me into her bedroom and locks the door. It's about ten degrees cooler than the kitchen—ducted air conditioning is the bomb.

'Hi,' Bella says, and the look in her eye is one I know all too well. It's the biggest ego boost, the way she never hesitates to let me know she wants me.

'Hey.'

She pulls me towards her bed and shoves me gently. I do what she wants and sit down, and she moves to straddle me.

'Bella,' I mumble, but then her lips are on mine and I can't remember why I thought I should stop her. Even though she stayed at my place last night and we fucked then and again early this morning, she's grinding all over my dick and trying to get her hands under my shirt. I bloody love how much Bella likes sex and isn't afraid to ask for it.

But right now, when dozens of her parents' friends are about to descend upon us, it probably isn't the best time. That doesn't stop me, though, from shoving my hands up her top and groaning when I realise she hasn't bothered with a bra. I thumb her nipples, loving the way she jerks and pushes her chest forward. I give her what she wants and pinch her nipples, which makes her groan into my mouth.

'You're so fucking sexy,' I tell her, my voice gritty. 'I want you so bad.'

I pinch again and Bella makes that 'ungh' noise that just kills me.

'I want you, too,' she says. She pulls back and shoves her hands into my shorts. 'Can you—can we fuck? Do we have time?'

We probably could—the question is whether or not we should. I glance at the clock. The party is supposed to start in ten minutes. No one will be on time, and I know Bella's parents don't expect her to meet-and-greet. But time isn't the problem. It's more that Bella doesn't have her own bathroom, so we'd have to emerge dishevelled and flushed, and basically broadcasting what we'd just been up to.

I grab Bella's wrists and tug them away from my crotch. 'I really want to,' I tell her. 'But I don't really want to meet all your mum's friends looking like I've just fucked their pseudo-niece.'

Bella pouts and I kiss her lips. 'Stay at mine tonight. I'll make it up to you.'

She sighs as she stands up and smooths down her skirt. She checks her reflection in the mirror hanging on the back of her closet door before she leans down to kiss my cheek—and give me a peek down her shirt. 'Deal,' she says. 'I know you'll make it worth the wait.'

* * *

By the time Bella leads me into the backyard, there are already about thirty people clustered on the Swan's entertaining deck. Bella told me Charlie had it roofed and the outdoor ceiling fan installed last summer. The thing has a two and half metre sweep and looks like it's been scrounged from the top of a helicopter. It's awesome and I'm totally going to install one on my deck once I rebuild the pergola.

'Ready for this?' Bella asks.

'Sure.'

As soon as we step up onto the deck, three women about Bella's mum's age pounce on us. They're all looking at me in a way that makes me feel a bit like Charlie's pork. They seriously look like they're sizing me up for the spit.

'Renée wasn't exaggerating, was she?' one of them says. She's wearing peacock blue eyeshadow, which matches her sari perfectly. 'How are you, Bella, darling?'

'I'm great,' Bella says. She kisses the woman on the cheek. 'Jaya, this is Edward. Edward, Jaya.'

With that, I'm dragged into a whirlwind of introductions and explanations of who knows who and how that has my head spinning. It's highly unlikely I'm going to remember too many of these people's names. As soon as that thought forms in my mind, I realise, again, just how incredible Bella is. If a situation like this is borderline overwhelming for me, and I've always been pretty good with names and faces, then the way Bella manages to navigate social gatherings is nothing short of extraordinary.

This gathering, though, is a bit easier for her, because she knew most of these people well before her accident. Some of them she's known her entire life, which means there are more than a few people who want to tell me cute anecdotes about Bella as a baby or little kid. She rolls her eyes and groans each time someone starts to reminisce but I'm captivated. Bella's openness has made it easy to get to know her, and truly know her—the person she is now. But she is still such a recent arrival in my life and I'm curious about what she was like as a kid, as a teen. And each story gives me some tiny insight into how Bella became the woman I'm completely smitten with today.

Charlie's brother, Phil, is telling me about the time Bella smuggled home a shoebox full of soldier crabs and hid them under her bed when I notice the Whitlocks have arrived. I spot Maria and her husband laughing with a couple I was introduced to about fifteen minutes ago, Tia and Benji. I don't see Jasper, though. Maybe he decided not to show his face.

'Ren was absolutely ropable,' Phil says, cackling. 'She had to hire a steam cleaner because she couldn't get the smell out of the carpet.'

Bella makes a face. 'I felt awful about that for months,' she says.

'For the smell?' I ask, smiling at her. 'Was it that bad?'

She wrinkles her nose. 'The smell was horrific. But I meant for the poor crabs. I left them in a box under my bed on a day like today. And we didn't have air con in that house. Not one of them survived.' She shakes her head. 'Poor things. I told my parents they should never let me get a pet because of that. I didn't think I could be trusted with another creature's life.'

'How old were you?'

She shrugs. 'Maybe seven or eight?' She looks at her uncle for confirmation.

He thinks about it for a second and then nods. 'Yeah, 'bout that. She's always been a bit of a tender heart, this one.'

That's been a common thread in the stories people have told me. Bella cares, and it sticks in people's minds. That, and that she spent a lot of time running around nude as a toddler.

'Yeah, well,' Bella says. 'This tender heart is also completely parched.' She squeezes Phil's forearm before she catches my eye and jerks her head towards the makeshift bar her mum is tending. 'Buy me a drink?'

* * *

_42ºC = 108ºF. (It hit 47ºC/117ºF here the other day. That was fun... NOT.)_


	36. Chapter 36

I'm not sure what is in the drink Bella's mother hands me, but I'm fairly sure it's a concoction she's invented herself—and that I'm going to be completely shitfaced if I drink more than one of them.

Bella winces as she swallows a large mouthful. 'Remind me not to let Mum make me another drink,' she says. 'I'll be off my face in no time.'

'I've never seen you drunk,' I say, surprised.

Bella shrugs. 'Never been a huge drinker. The meds I'm on don't mix so well with alcohol, anyway.'

'Of course.' I feel like an idiot for bringing it up, but Bella winks at me over the rim of her glass.

'I do get high every now and then. You might enjoy that.'

'Yeah? Do you get the giggles?' That would be cute as hell.

Bella's smile turns sly and she crooks her finger at me. I comply, bending my knees so she can whisper in my ear. 'No. I get really horny.'

'Bel…' Without thinking, I swallow another mouthful of the 'cocktail.' I grimace; it really is disgusting. Bella shakes her head and takes my glass from me. She makes sure her mum isn't looking before she empties both our drinks into a planter box.

'Sorry, hydrangeas,' she whispers. She motions for me to follow her and we head back into the kitchen, where she pulls open the fridge and extracts two bottles of beer. She digs through a drawer for a bottle opener, opens both beers, and hands one to me.

I take a deep pull, grateful for the familiar taste after whatever the hell Renée had us drinking. Bella clearly feels the same, because she lets out a contented sigh after her first sip. She leans into me and I sling an arm across her shoulders.

I'm weighing up the odds of someone walking in on us if I were to press her up against the counter and kiss her soundly when Charlie stomps back inside. He empties his glass into the sink and turns, his expression guilty when he realises he's not alone.

'Uh.' He scratches his chin. 'Bella, do you reckon you could take over the drinks for a bit? Your mother…' He shakes his head, apparently at a loss for words. 'Just for a few minutes? Tell her you'll play bartender for a while so she can go mingle? Once she gets chatting she'll forget all about it so you can just leave it to people to help themselves, yeah?'

Bella sighs, but steps out from under my arm. 'Yeah, no worries. At least that way your plants won't all end up getting poisoned.'

'Thanks, sweetheart.'

* * *

Bella is uncorking a bottle of Prosecco when I notice Jasper heading towards us. He's with a tall, dark-haired girl who looks a little unsure of herself. I'm not positive, but I think she may have been one of the girls who was with Bella and Jasper when they showed up at that party all those months ago.

Jasper takes advantage of Bella's preoccupation with mixing Aperol spritzes for a trio of women to sidle up beside me. He's got that look in his eye, the one that tells me he's in the mood to needle me. _Fan-fucking-tastic_.

'So. You and Bella, huh?'

'Yep.' I take a sip of my beer. 'Me and Bella.' I look past Jasper and extend my hand to the girl. 'Hey. I'm Edward.'

She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth before she accepts my handshake. 'Jess. I, um, I'm a good friend of Bella's so I've heard a lot about you.'

I wonder if this is 'you have to fight and make up before you can know you're in love' Jess.

'Likewise,' I say. Because if it _is_ that Jess, then I know she was one of the first friends Bella made when she started school here. Which makes it really quite bizarre that she's come with Jasper. Unless, of course, Bella has kept certain things to herself.

I look over at Bella and I can tell she's noticed Jasper from the way her gaze keeps flickering between the women she's talking to and Jasper, Jess, and me. As soon as she's passed each of the women a glass, she pats the nearest one's arm and immediately starts moving in our direction. Jasper knows it, too, because he times what he says next to ensure she hears the end of it.

'Bummer that she won't give head, right? We all know how much you were always gagging for a gobby.' He nudges Jess, apparently expecting she'll be amused by his alliteration.

Jess isn't paying any attention to him, her focus is on Bella.

'Jess, hey. You didn't tell me you were coming.' Bella smiles at her, but it's a little forced.

Jess looks completely miserable. 'I didn't realise it was your parents' thing,' she says softly. 'Jasper asked me to be his plus one to a party his parents were going to. He didn't…' She breaks off, shaking her head. 'I only realised once we turned into your street.' It's pretty clear she's figured out Jasper didn't bring her because he enjoys her company and I can't help but feel sorry for her.

Bella squeezes Jess's hand. 'I'm glad you're here,' she says. Jess relaxes a little in the face of Bella's genuine warmth.

'So,' Bella says. 'What did I interrupt?'

'Nothing,' I say, at the same time as Jasper says, 'I was just telling Jess about how famous Ed's love of head is.' He barks a laugh and claps my shoulder, apparently oblivious to the growing hostility in the three pairs of eyes trained on him. 'This guy was like, a total legend when we were at school. Got suspended for getting a chick to blow him in one of the science labs. What was her name again, Ed? She was a redhead, right? Massive rack.'

I sigh. _Motherfucking Jasper_. 'Is this really necessary?'

Jasper snaps his fingers. 'Vicky, right? She was a few years ahead of us.'

He's right, but I'm unwilling to dignify his antics with a response. He grins at me, triumphant, while Jess picks at her fingernails.

Bella, on the other hand, studies me carefully. 'How old were you?'

I shrug, ducking my head and pulling my hand through my hair. 'Fourteen.'

'Yeah, would of been year nine,' Jasper adds.

Bella ignores him. 'It was when Katie was sick?' she asks, her voice gentle.

I nod. 'Few weeks after she was diagnosed.'

Bella gives me a small smile before she straightens her shoulders. When she speaks again, her voice is louder and clearer. 'And did you reciprocate?'

I stare at her. 'I'm sorry?'

Bella winks at me. I have no clue where the hell she's going with this, but she doesn't seem the least bit upset.

'Did you return the favour?' she asks. 'Did _you_ go down on her?'

Jasper coughs, his eyes bugging out. Jess stops picking at her nails and watches us, her mouth slightly open.

'Uh, no.' My face feels hot, but it has nothing to do with the scorching temperatures outside. At the time of the incident Jasper has so helpfully recalled, I was just a dumb kid whose world had been turned upside down. I'd jumped at the chance for some attention and affection when it was offered. I wouldn't have had the first clue about how to get a girl off. The thought of offering wouldn't have even crossed my mind.

Bella shakes her head, feigning sadness. 'Sucks to be her,' she says. 'Because that mouth of yours…' She fakes a shiver. 'Nothing compares.'

Jasper looks like he's choking on his beer. Jess snickers quietly.

'Still,' Bella continues, 'maybe it's for the best. You might've spoiled her for anyone else like you have me.'

She does that thing she does, grabbing me by the shirt and crashing her mouth to mine. She kisses me soundly then looks back at Jasper. 'He legit could teach a class,' she says. 'He'd make a fortune and make a whole lot of women really fucking happy at the same time. Maybe you should ask him for some pointers.'

Bella winks at me and walks away. My gaze trails after her as she returns to the women and the conversation she just excused herself from.

My brain hasn't quite caught up with the last few minutes. I'm not entirely sure what the hell just happened, but I'm mildly embarrassed, incredibly amused, and stupidly turned on.

Jasper looks like he'd be quite happy for the floor to open up and swallow him. Jess looks like she's trying really hard not to laugh. She glances at me and her shoulders start to shake and her eyes start to water and then she loses the battle and busts out laughing.

'Oh. My. God.' She gasps the words between peals of giggles. 'That was brutal.'

She looks at Jasper, which sobers her right up. 'You're a dickhead,' she says. 'I don't know what you were thinking but'—she jabs him in the chest—'you totally just got what you deserve.'

Jess turns back to me and holds her hand out for me to slap it. Bemused, I comply.

'It was nice to finally meet you, Edward. Tell Bella I'll catch up with her properly soon, okay?'

'Sure.'

She nudges Jasper's knee with her foot. 'You need to do everyone a favour and leave,' she says. 'You can drop me home on your way.'

* * *

_gobby = blow job, obvs. It's gross, I know. Sorry._

_Not much longer to go. _


	37. Chapter 37

We leave Bella's place a bit before midnight. We end up getting Phil to drop us back to mine, because I've had a few too many and he adheres to some sort of paleo-vegan-intermittent-fasting diet that doesn't include the consumption of alcohol.

'Have fun, kids,' he says as we tumble out of his Lexus. 'See you two in the morning.'

'What's happening in the morning?' I ask Bella as his tail lights disappear around the corner. I'm pretty tipsy but I'm definitely not drunk enough to have made plans with someone and forgotten them already.

She frowns and takes out her phone. She checks her calendar and shakes her head. 'I don't know. Either I forgot to write it down, or he's doing something with Mum and Dad and is just assuming we'll be there.' She shrugs. 'Guess we'll find out in the morning.'

A gust of wind pushes past us, grabbing the ends of Bella's hair and tossing them towards the night sky.

'Southerly's here,' Bella says. She gathers her hair and ties it into one of her wobbly buns. 'Finally.'

We head inside, opening up all the windows to let the cool change in. My bedroom is stuffy as fuck, so I switch on the rattly old window A/C unit and close the door.

'Probably need to give it twenty to cool down,' I tell Bella. She pouts, and now that she's drawn my attention to her lips, I really want to kiss her. So I do, twisting my fingers into her hair and making a mess of her bun. She doesn't seem to care. Her tongue slides against mine and I groan into her mouth and press her back against my closed door.

I kiss my way down her throat and her head lolls back against the door with a soft thump.

'Is anyone else home?' she asks.

'Uh…' I've already forgotten what she asked, distracted by her collarbones. I kiss my way across them, then tug her shirt lower so I can kiss her sternum.

'Edward,' she says. She squirms but I've got her pretty well pinned against the door. I slip my knee between her legs and my hands around her waist. I squeeze her sides gently, feeling her stomach muscles flex, before I slide my hands up to cup her tits. Bella arches her back and makes a little whimpering noise. I deliberately avoid her nipples as I knead her breasts and push them together because I know it will drive her crazy.

'Wait,' she says. She shoves her hands into my hair and tugs until I pull my lips away from her skin. 'Is Al home?'

I close my eyes because looking at her when she's flushed and pouty-lipped and messy-haired, all I can think about is how much I want to fuck her. _Is_ anyone home?

'Rosalie moved most of her stuff in this morning,' I say. 'But she was going to sleep at a friend's tonight. Al is… I don't remember what he was doing.'

'We should probably take this inside your room,' Bella says. 'I really don't want him to catch us fucking against your bedroom door.'

'It's too hot still,' I say. But I let go of her tits and open the door because we're about to get even sweatier anyway. As soon as Bella steps inside, she pulls her shirt off. She drops it on the floor and heads straight for the en-suite.

I pull my shirt off with a sigh, assuming she's going to want to shower. It's not a bad idea, I probably smell pretty ripe.

But when I enter the bathroom, I find Bella perched on the counter in her undies. She smiles at me and parts her knees. I step between them, my grin wide. _God, I love her_.

'I was right,' I say. I hook my fingers under her knees and slide her to the edge of the counter.

'About what?' But she smirks, because she knows.

Bella wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me hard. I lose myself in the feel of her lips and tongue for a few minutes, but then I remember why I wanted her in this position in the first place. I pull back and wrap my hands around her thighs, my fingertips press into soft skin and hard muscle. I look over her shoulder at her reflection: the wisps of damp hair stuck to her neck, the multiple tan lines that crisscross her back and shoulders, the triangle of red lace that covers next to nothing of her arse, her tanned and toned thighs.

I grind my erection against her and she lets out this breathy little laugh. 'Oh, God. You're so fucking hard.'

'Fuck,' I mutter. 'I love you.'

'Love you, too,' she says. Her head falls back as I keep pushing my hips into hers.

'Watch, Bel,' I tell her. I pull her undies to the side and slip my fingers between her legs.

Bella looks down, lips parted, as she watches what I'm doing to her. She lets out this gorgeous moan that tells me I'm definitely doing something right and then she starts up with the yes, Edward, more, Edward, harder, Edward, which is basically my favourite thing in the whole damn universe. If anyone is home, then they'll know exactly what we're up to but I can't bring myself to give a shit. Sweat beads across her chest and her thighs start to shake. I use the hand not between her legs to pinch her nipple and her mouth drops open and her eyes squeeze closed and just like I knew she would, she comes, hard.

I undo the button of my shorts and yank them and my boxers down, not bothering to kick them all the way off. When Bella regains some motor function, I tug her undies aside again and tell her to hold onto them. It would be easy enough to take them all the way off, but there's something erotic about her keeping them on.

Somehow I have the presence of mind to ask her if she wants me to go grab a condom, but she shakes her head and says, 'We're good.'

I thrust inside her and let out a guttural groan because it feels so fucking good. I grab her arse cheeks and start to pound into her. We're both covered in sweat and I'm just drunk enough that my filter has fucked right off. I tell her over and over how good it feels, how sexy she is, how much I love being inside her, while she lets out these high-pitched whimpers and keens and tells me how good I feel moving inside her, how much she loves it when I fuck her like this.

Sweat rolls down my spine, drips down my face as I keep thrusting into her. My knees are aching, my hip flexors cramping, and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to hold on long enough for Bella to come again. I'd usually put my mouth on her tits to help her along, but I can't reach, can't let go of her legs because I've pulled her forward to the point I'm supporting much of her weight.

But Bella knows what she needs, and when I start babbling about being close, about it being too good, she wraps her legs around my waist, lets go of her underwear, and grabs hold of her breasts. My mouth falls open as she pinches and twists her nipples. She's slack-jawed and silent as she comes. Her eyelids flutter and when this satiated little smile curls her lips, I stop trying to hold back. My release is so intense, it's almost painful.

Bella starts giggling as I pull away from her. She hops off the counter and heads for the shower. I catch her around the waist before she can reach the taps.

'What's so funny?' I ask. I kiss her neck and she leans into me.

'Nothing,' she says. 'Well, no. I was just thinking about how much I understated your, ah, talents earlier this afternoon.'

I roll my eyes, but really, I'm chuffed. How could I not be?

But it does remind me… I kiss Bella's neck again, hoping I'm not going to sour the mood by bringing this up.

'Bel?'

'Mmm?'

'Speaking of this arvo… Did you, um, did you not tell Jess what happened with Jasper?'

Bella sighs and twists around to face me. 'Can we talk about this in there?' She points at the shower. 'I feel kinda grotty.'

I nod and reach past her to turn the shower on. Once the water is lukewarm, I step in, tugging Bella in after me. She doesn't speak immediately but I don't push, giving her time to gather her thoughts. Instead, I nudge her under the water and grab the bottle of shampoo she keeps here.

It's not until I'm combing conditioner through her hair with my fingers that she speaks up.

'Jess knew that Jasper and I had sort of had a thing, and after that night, I told her I was done with him. I didn't give her specifics, just that he'd pushed too hard and hadn't respected my boundaries.' She turns to face me and circles her finger in the air. I do what she wants and turn around. She starts working shampoo into my hair, her strong fingers massaging my scalp. 'I don't remember how much I told you at the time, but I had it out with him a few days later. He was full of excuses and he tried to turn it all around onto me. He wanted me to feel really bad about it. Told me you were kicking him out because of what happened and how unfair that was when it was just a misunderstanding because he was wasted.'

Bella tells me to close my eyes and guides me back under the shower. She rinses the shampoo out, then picks up the bottle of conditioner.

'I flipped out on him. Told him that if he can't respect what someone says or read their signals when he's drunk, then he shouldn't drink at all. I told him that I didn't want to have anything to do with him, especially not physically.' She sighs and rinses her hands under the shower. I turn to face her and she gives me a small smile. 'Jess messaged me a few days ago to tell me he'd asked her to go to a party with him. She didn't want to say yes until she'd checked how I felt about it. And I guess… I hoped he'd grown up a bit. I wanted to believe he'd learned from the past and would be good to her. Because everyone's capable of change, you know?'

I rest my hands on her waist. 'I get it,' I say. And I do. Bella's such a positive person, of course she believes the best of people. She's not naïve about it, either. She's hopeful. But it takes some people (like Jasper) longer to realise they need to pull their heads out of their arses.

I shut off the shower and pass Bella a towel. She wraps it under her armpits and heads back into the bedroom. The little window unit is working valiantly, and the room has cooled significantly.

Bella sits down on the edge of the bed and pats the doona. I rub my towel over my hair before I wrap it around my waist and sit down.

'I guess he's not there yet,' she says. 'I don't know if he invited Jess to try to make me jealous, or just because he couldn't handle showing up alone or what. But he's an absolute idiot if he thought he could drive a wedge between us over something that happened years before we even met.'

'He _is_ an idiot.' Motherfucker had a shot with Bella and he blew it, not even realising just how amazing she is. Definitely an idiot.

Bella's eyes narrow. 'Oh,' she says. 'I just realised. It wasn't really about that girl, was it? It was about oral sex. Because you're supposed to be famous for getting it and I don't give it. And that's like, the worst thing ever for a dude, right?'

I groan softly. 'You know I don't…' I shake my head and try again. 'What we do'—I squeeze her hand gently—'is perfect. The way we connect is beyond anything I could've ever imagined and it's incredible. _You're_ incredible.'

I cup her face and rest my forehead against hers, wishing I could communicate telepathically. But I can't, so I have to try to find the right words. 'Bella, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I never have. Most of the time, I'm just wondering how the hell I got lucky enough to have met this girl who is so strong and brave and gorgeous and adventurous and caring. And who likes me as much as I like her.'

Bella kisses my cheek. 'I _love_ you.'

I swallow down the lump that unexpectedly forms in my throat. 'You are seriously the most extraordinary person I've ever met.'

'You're gonna make me cry,' Bella says quietly. 'Stop it.'

'For real, though,' I tell her. 'I love you more than I really know how to say.'

Bella rests her head on my shoulder. 'Same,' she says. 'Sometimes it scares the shit out of me, how quickly this happened.'

Not caring that we're both still soaking wet, I pull her to lie down on the bed with me. She rolls over and folds her hands on my chest, then rests her chin on her hands. She sighs.

'Most of the time I'm just really bloody glad Jasper dragged me along to that party.'

'Same. I'm glad I got antsy and decided to leave early.' I stroke her hair off her face. 'I was leaving because I was getting bored and I managed to run straight into the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.'

Maybe it's crazy, how fast and hard we've fallen. Maybe it's unwise that I'm already thinking about asking Bella if she'll move in with me because I want her face to be the first thing I see every morning and her voice to be the first one I hear. Maybe it's absurd that I'm already pretty sure I want to marry her one day.

I'm not naïve about it. I know that staying in love with someone is a whole lot harder than falling for them. I'm not perfect and neither is Bella, so we're inevitably going to piss each other off and hurt each other's feelings. We're both capable of being selfish and stubborn and we both have a tendency to react emotionally when we're overtired. We'll get our wires crossed and miscommunicate and we'll have to learn how to work through things when we're feeling defensive and wronged.

But we'll take those hurdles as they come. We'll learn. We'll screw up and we'll try again. And again.

So, yeah, I know that loving Bella won't always be so easy. But I'm willing to bet a whole fucking lot that it will be worth it.

* * *

_Epilogue(s) to come. Thanks for reading, friends._


	38. Chapter 38

_For Glo. Because she's special to me._

* * *

**Epilogue 1.1**

Jess nudges me and I sigh as I remove one of my earbuds.

'You okay?' she asks.

I know she's genuinely concerned, so I shove down my irritation. It's not her fault we're delayed, and she probably misses Garrett as much as I do Edward.

I haven't seen Edward in close to two weeks. It's the longest we've gone without seeing each other since before we were even together, since those few weeks between Jasper absolutely annihilating that silly crush I'd nursed for years and me tracking Edward down at his TAFE class.

The first few days were easy enough; I was too preoccupied to really miss him. Jess had been set on having her hen's party in Bali—pictures to be tagged on Instagram as #lastflingwithoutthering and #jessisgettinghitched—and we'd managed to score an excellent deal on flights and twelve nights at a gorgeous resort. It had been a long time since I'd had some extended quality time with my girlfriends, so I was determined to soak it up. I threw myself into it all: the early morning yoga classes, the fresh seafood lunches, cocktails by the pool in the afternoon, and sweaty, pulsing nightclubs until the early hours of the morning.

It wasn't all relaxing, though. Almost two weeks of socialising, of having to be constantly 'on,' has left me pretty exhausted mentally. And even after living together for twelve days—not to mention all the dumb ice-breaker games—my faulty brain kept misplacing one of Jess's cousins' names. She was really sweet about it the first half a dozen times, but a few days in I could tell she was getting over it. I could hear it in the way she sort of sighed her name when I faltered, the way her eyes started to roll before she caught herself and plastered the smile back across her face.

So while it was nice to get away with some good friends and do nothing but indulge, it only took a few days before I really started to miss Edward. And I don't just miss the way I can switch off with him, let my guard down and just be, or the way he can tell when I'm struggling and will pull me away to a quiet space so I can regroup. It's not just the mind blowing sex or the way his eyes light up when I walk into the room or the dumb private jokes we share. I miss the glass of cold water he leaves on my bedside table every morning, and the way he sneaks his fingers under the hem of my skirt while he tells me about his day. I miss the smell of sawdust and sweat he wears home from work and the way he always gets me a beer before he opens his own.

To make things that bit harder, I should already be home by now, preferably naked and with some part of Edward's anatomy inside me. But our flight was delayed, so I'm still sitting in Denpasar International, staring at the departures board and willing our flight to climb higher up the list.

'I'm fine,' I tell Jess. 'Just a bit tired.'

'Same,' she says. 'Long day, huh?'

'Seriously.' We've been in the airport for six hours now and it will probably be another four before we can finally board.

'I'm heaps sorry,' Jess says.

'It's not your fault, hun.'

'I know. But I still feel like… I mean, it was my idea to come to Bali.'

'Have you had fun?'

She looks at me like I'm crazy. 'Are you crazy? It was the best. Twelve days in paradise with all my favourite ladies.'

'Good,' I say. 'That's what we wanted for you. So please don't ruin it by feeling bad about something you have zero control over.' I pause and raise an eyebrow. 'Unless you sabotaged the aeroplane. In which case, screw you.'

Jess grins and leans into me. She rests her head on my shoulder. 'I'm getting married in seven days.'

'Hell yeah, you are.'

'Do you think you'll marry Edward? You guys have been together for ages longer than Garrett and me.'

It's been almost six years since I forgot Jasper's gorgeous friend's name. I smile and instinctively touch my thumb to the fourth finger of my right hand. To anyone else, it's just a pretty oyster turquoise ring. 'Yeah, probably.'

Jess sits upright, her eyes wide as she looks at my ring. 'Are you—Has he—Oh, my God.'

I wince. 'Babe, keep your voice down.'

A few of the girls are looking our way and this is so not how we wanted to do this. Rosalie raises her eyebrows and I shake my head at her. I still find it a little weird that she and Jess will become sisters-in-law next week. I know they're two of my closest friends, but sometimes I get a bit insecure and worry that I won't be as important to either of them once Jess has married Rose's brother. I figured Edward would tell me I was being ridiculous when I confessed this to him when he dropped me off at the airport, but he didn't. He just held me close and said that he didn't think that would happen, but that he totally understood how shifting relationships can make you feel unsure about where you stand.

'We've talked about it,' I tell Jess quietly. I give her as much of the truth as I can without giving away more than Edward and I are ready to. 'We're certain we want to. It's just a matter of timing.'

The thing is, Edward asked me to marry him almost two years ago.

It wasn't long after we'd exchanged contracts on our own home. He'd told me we needed to drop by the old place because he had a few jobs to do before his folks could put it up for lease again. Rosalie had just moved in with Emmett, and Al had bought a unit closer to the hospital, so the place was empty for the first time in years.

I figured Edward must've needed a spare pair of hands or something, so I didn't really question why he wanted me to go with him.

But as soon as we got to the house, he ushered me out onto the balcony and propped his hip against the railing.

I smiled as I looked out over the yard, memories flashing through my mind. Spotting Edward on the balcony and cursing my faulty memory; I knew he was Jasper's hot friend and that I'd met him at a recent party, but couldn't for the life of me remember his name. Lying on a picnic blanket while we passed a joint back and forth, then fucking silently under the stars and disintegrating into the ether when I came. The evening the neighbour's kids started talking to me over the fence about the treehouse their dad was going to build them and the adventures they would have; I got so caught up in their wild schemes that the snapper I was trying to barbeque for Edward ended up inedible. Christmas lunch with both our families interrupted by a massive downpour, everyone shrieking as they grabbed dishes and plates at random and raced inside. Standing at the glass doors, unease snaking through my chest as bushfire smoke smudged the sky black and turned the sun blood red. Edward swearing up a storm when the guys who came to install the rainwater tank fucked up the plumbing and he had to call in a mate to redo it all.

When I turned back to Edward, I saw the way he was clawing at his hair and I just knew.

'Don't be nervous,' I told him. 'I'm a sure thing.'

He gaped at me for a moment before he shook his head. He huffed out a laugh as he dropped to one knee. I always thought I'd hate for a dude to propose to me on his knees—I thought it would seem too much like begging. But when Edward was there in front of me, his face upturned and the prettiest ring I'd ever seen in his hand, it felt nothing like begging.

'Figures I couldn't even surprise you,' he said.

The light of the setting sun was splashed across his face, turning his eyes from eucalyptus green to burnished gold. I wanted to freeze time, keep him like that forever, that wondering smile curving his lips and all that love shining in his eyes.

'Maybe that's because it shouldn't be a surprise,' he said, 'that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.'

I ran my thumb along his cheekbone. My heart was in my throat; it felt like it was trying to find its way to where it already lived—in his hands.

'I still don't know how to tell you how much I love you,' he said. 'But will you marry me, Bella?'

I bit my lip, the sting reassuring me that this was very fucking real, then nodded. 'Like I said. I'm a sure thing.'

We had planned to tell our families the following weekend, but on the Friday night, Esme turned up at our place to tell us she was leaving Carlisle—and checking herself into rehab. And so we put all our plans on hold and did everything we could to help her through what was bound to be a pretty awful few months. Months that became a year, then two.

Honestly, if I didn't think it would crush Esme, I would've asked Edward to just elope with me. I've researched it. All we need to do is find a celebrant, submit a Notice of Intended Marriage, get married a month later. Too easy.

My parents would probably be pretty hurt if we'd married in secret, but they'd get over it. I'm not so sure Esme would. And she's been through so much that it would feel horrible to cheat her of a reason to celebrate. So now we're stuck waiting until we know she and Carlisle can be in the same room without it getting ugly.

I really didn't think it would get me down so much, having to wait. We've been living together for five years, have owned our own home for two, so what difference would a piece of paper and a couple of rings make? But all the excitement I've been caught up in, in helping Jess plan her wedding, has made me kind of wistful. I don't want the frothy white dress or the extended hen's holiday or the elaborately planned reception. I just want to be able to tell the world, make it official: 'I love this man and I'm going to spend the rest of my life loving the shit out of him.'

'Oh,' Jess says. 'I suppose it's not easy with his folks and stuff.'

I nod and rest my head on her shoulder. This conversation is bumming me out big time. I just want to go home and fuck my boyfriend who's actually my fiancé senseless, then fall asleep in his arms.

* * *

_It got long, so there's more coming... xo_


	39. Chapter 39

_This is long and, again, way out of my comfort zone. And there's a bit more to come._

* * *

**Epilogue 1.2**

Because of the flight delay, I told Edward not to worry about meeting me at the airport. I said I'd take the shuttle bus with the rest of the girls. I can't say I'm surprised, though, when he texts me as I'm going through customs to tell me he'll be waiting by the Hertz counter. It's classic Edward.

I walk straight into his arms and he pulls me against his chest, his chin finding its place atop my head.

'I'm so glad you listen to me,' I tell him.

I feel a small laugh rumble through him. 'I've missed you too much,' he says. 'There was no way I was going to wait another two hours to see you.'

I love the way Edward doesn't hold his feelings back. Some of my girlfriends complain about their partners never expressing how they feel, but I've never really had that issue with Edward. He's strong enough to be okay with making himself vulnerable and putting his heart on the line.

Of course, the problem with Edward picking me up is that as soon as I lift my face to kiss him, I want him. Bad. He groans into my mouth as my tongue finds his and I'm trying to rub my tits all over his chest and wishing he'd grab hold of my butt and pull me against his dick. He doesn't, though, because he has some sense of decorum.

'Get a room,' Rosalie says as she rolls her suitcase past us. 'Bloody exhibitionists.'

Edward pulls away from me and grins at her. 'Still mad Emmett's arse isn't as pretty as mine, Rose?' In the years Rose lived with us, she never busted us fully going at it, but there were a few too many close calls.

Rosalie flips him off and keeps walking towards the sliding doors. Jess stops to hug me and thank me for helping make her hen's party so memorable and the cousin whose name I keep forgetting says, 'See you at the wedding.' She doesn't look thrilled about it.

Edward tilts his head as he watches me wave goodbye. 'Everything okay?'

I shrug. 'I couldn't make her name stick. I tried so freaking hard, but every time she told me it would just'—I snap my fingers—'disappear.' I sigh. 'Sometimes I think I'm actually getting worse.'

Edward grabs the handle of my suitcase with one hand and my fingers with the other. 'Home?'

'God, yes.'

Almost as soon as we get on the freeway, it starts raining. Fat, heavy drops drum against the windscreen and turn the taillights of the cars in front of us to ruby smears.

I grimace as Edward flicks the wipers on. 'Did you put the buckets out, by chance?'

He shakes his head, his lips pressed into a line.

I don't say anything, because he likely left home hours ago and the sun was probably shining then. But if he hasn't put out the buckets, then we're going home to huge puddles and wet spots on the carpet.

When we bought our house, we knew it would need renovations. The bathroom was no longer watertight, the deck was a safety hazard, and the kitchen was so tiny we couldn't both be in there at the same time. Mick's wife, Angie, once told me that shacking up with a carpenter would mean watching Edward build other people's dream homes while living in a perpetual construction site myself. She wasn't wrong.

I understand that it's the nature of the job. When there's work, he has to take it. Even if he's just gutted our kitchen and it means we live on takeaway and toast for a month. Even if it means we go without a properly functioning bathroom for a few weeks, or have a tarpaulin covered hole in our roof for going on eight months.

Edward sighs. 'Sorry, mate.'

'It's fine,' I say. And it is. As much as I was hoping to head straight to naked time, it won't take too long to clean up the mess.

I don't mean to fall asleep. I have dozens of stories I want to tell Edward and I want to hear what he's been up to, but the rhythmic thrumming of rain on the windscreen is hypnotic and the stress of the day finally catches up with me.

Edward shakes me awake, murmuring that we're home and that he's got something to show me.

'Is it your penis?' I mumble. 'That's the only show and tell I'm interested in right now.'

He chuckles. 'I'll definitely show you that later.'

The pout slips off my lips as soon as I step out of the car.

'Holy shit.'

If I hadn't seen Edward's sketches, I would think he's pulled up in front of the wrong house. The wraparound verandah he's been doodling since our very first viewing now hugs our little house. It looks like it's yet to be painted, but it's there.

'How did—' I stop, thinking hard. He always said the verandahs would be the last thing he'd get to. A new, bigger kitchen was priority number one, and even though it was a slow process, he finished that about a year ago. The bathroom was next, and most of that overhaul had been done by Emmett because, as Edward said, tiles and plumbing and 'shit that gets wet' weren't his area of expertise. (I'd disagreed and told him that in my experience he was quite the expert at getting things wet, and had shoved his hand into my knickers to prove my point.)

With those two jobs complete, our next step was going to be to knock out the back wall, add a new master bedroom and en-suite, and then build the deck.

Which means…

My hands cover my mouth as I put it all together. I look at Edward, my eyes wide. 'Seriously?'

He nods, his grin huge. The street lights glimmer on his teeth.

'No.'

He pops the boot and hefts my suitcase from it. 'Yep.'

'All of it?'

He runs his hand through his hair then waves me towards the house. 'Still some painting and finishing to do, but yeah. All the main construction jobs are done.'

'But how?'

I follow Edward across our new deck and into the house. It smells like plaster and sawdust and paint. Like one of the brand new houses Edward has walked me through when I've visited him on site.

'How?' I ask again as I follow him to the door of our new bedroom. He flips the light switch and I see that the while the walls haven't been painted, and the floors still need to be varnished, it's done. Our dream room.

It's big enough that a king-sized bed and a cot will fit comfortably—because Edward knows I want any babies we have to sleep within arms reach for at least the first six months. There are wide, yet-to-be-shuttered windows on two sides, as well as a walk-in wardrobe and an en-suite.

'I was only gone twelve days.' My voice echoes in the empty room.

Edward follows me as I poke my head into the en-suite. It's bigger than the existing bathroom. It looks amazing: huge his-and-hers shower heads, polished concrete floor, a freestanding tub.

'I called in every favour I could. Promised a shitload more,' Edward says. 'There's been about a dozen people here most days. Even Katie and Riley tried to help.' His wry smile tells me everything. Riley probably helped heaps, pitching in wherever they could. Katie would've been assigned a task, quickly grown bored with it, and then wandered off to find someone to chat to. She puts in enough hours at the hospital, though, that no one who knows her would begrudge her flightiness.

Edward puts a hand on my waist and turns me to face him. 'I would've loved to have it completely finished, but at least we're a bit closer now.'

'A bit?' I shake my head at him. 'Edward, this is amazing. _You're_ amazing. Thank you so much.'

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hard. I'm overwhelmed by his selflessness, the amount of work he's put into finishing our house while I spent the time chilling in Bali.

He catches my hands as I fumble with his fly. 'Wait,' he says.

I shake a hand free and cup his erection. His eyelids flutter as he groans. 'Bel. Wait, please.'

He clearly has something important he wants to say so I let him capture my hands and pull them to his lips.

'I just wanted to do this for you,' he says. 'I know how much it's sucked, having to live on takeaway for weeks and having to set up a fucking camping shower in the backyard and just… not be able to just have a space where you can fully relax.'

'I haven't minded—' He stops me with a quick kiss.

'I know,' he says. 'That's the thing. You've hardly complained about stepping over missing floorboards in the middle of the night or having to set up buckets every time it rains because there's a giant fucking hole in the ceiling. Even that time your laptop got fried when you were in the middle of doing reports because the skylight leaked, you hardly fussed.'

I frown at him. 'It wasn't a big deal. The reports were all saved on the cloud—'

He kisses me quiet again, and I've gotta say, his method of shushing me is pretty damn pleasant.

'You're proving my point, you know? You've just rolled with it, no matter how inconvenient. So I wanted to do something to show you how much I appreciate that.'

'Well, thank you,' I say. 'Although saying that feels woefully inadequate.' I grab his chin and give his face a little shake. 'You're amazing and I love you so damn much.'

His smile is smooshed between my fingers. 'Love you, too.'

I drop my hand and kiss his lips. 'Can you please, please fuck me now?'

Edward inhales sharply and his hands find my bum. He squeezes my arse as he lifts me. I wrap my legs around his waist, already squirming, trying to press myself against him, find some sort of friction to ease the ache that's intensifying between my legs. He turns and presses my back against the wall, his lips find my neck and his kisses drag goosebumps across my skin.

'Do you want to christen this room?' he asks me, his voice gritty. 'Or would you rather go somewhere more comfortable?'

As attractive as the thought of having sex in our new room is, I'm not sure I've got the energy for the sort of manoeuvring the lack of bed would require. I'm not against a wall fuck or even just going at it on the timber floor, but I'm tired and sore and with the amount of work Edward's put into getting the house finished, I'd bet he is, too.

I loosen the grip my thighs have on his waist and slide down his body. I hook my fingers into his belt loops and tug gently.

'Bed,' I tell him. 'But I'll take a raincheck on sex right here.'

'Deal,' Edward says. He cups my face and kisses me until I'm weak in the knees before he scares the shit out of me by tossing me over his shoulder and carting me back down the hall to the room we've called ours for the last two years.

Despite the caveman antics, Edward sets me down on our bed carefully. I know he's secretly terrified of bumping my head and doing my brain any more damage. He makes quick work of unbuttoning my shorts and pulling off my knickers, and before I can even catch my breath, his mouth is on me. And _holy fuck_, I think he's missed me. All I can do is anchor my hands in his hair while he licks and sucks and does that thing with his teeth that makes me want to scream in the best fucking way. When he adds his fingers to the mix, I just about lose my mind. And it's a good thing we no longer have to worry about housemates, because I know I'm being loud, and I know the dirty words spewing from my mouth would make me blush if I wasn't completely wasted on the orgasm bearing down on me. I fight it, force my eyes open and look down at Edward. He meets my gaze, his eyes so full of love and lust while his mouth does terrible, wonderful things, and it's too, too much. I come hard and fast and loud.

'I think you broke me,' I tell Edward. I'm a sticky, sweaty, boneless mess. 'Holy shit.'

He chuckles and presses a kiss to my thigh. It's too close to where his mouth has been working its dark magic and I squirm away, trying to close my legs.

Edward's torso is in the way, though. A smirk stretches his lips as he watches me writhe. He moves slowly, making sure I'm watching, as he lowers his mouth to my thigh. He kisses the top of my thigh, which makes me jerk and whimper. When he drags his tongue along the crease where my leg connects to my body, I shudder and moan, and, unable to bear his teasing, snap my thighs around his head to immobilise him. My legs have lost a bit of their strength since I gave up competing in beach sprints. Only a bit, though, because I've started running longer distances.

I don't know what Edward says, but I feel the vibrations of his words between my legs. I loosen my hold on him and take advantage of his surprise to shove him off me. He flops over onto his back and grins up at me as I straddle his waist.

'Hi,' he says. He's so fucking proud of himself. And hey, he deserves to be. The guy has some serious talent.

'Hi, yourself.'

I'd love to yank his shorts down and shock the hell out of him with some talents of my own, but we both know I don't have any. Not in that department, anyway. The last—and only—time I insisted it was all good and told him I wanted him finish in my mouth, I sort of vomited all over the poor bastard.

It was easily the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I knew Edward was a keeper when he helped me clean up the mess and change the bed sheets before he made for the shower.

Actually, that's a lie: I knew he was a keeper well before then.

I give Edward a quick kiss and then sit up to yank my t-shirt off. His hands are on my tits before I've got my bra undone, his thumbs finding my nipples through the lace. I throw the bralette across the room and shove my tits in Edward's face. He chuckles, his whiskers rasping deliciously against my skin, before he does what I want him to do and closes his lips around my nipple. He pinches one hard while he sucks the other, then switches sides. I'm grinding all over his dick and it wouldn't take much for me to come again, but I want more.

I pull back, my hands on Edward's shoulders to tell him to let me go.

'I need you inside me,' I tell him. 'I've missed you so fucking much.'

Edward groans as I undo his shorts. I don't bother taking them all the way off, just tug them down far enough to get to the bits I need.

I stroke him a few times, just to watch that muscle in his jaw flex and his eyelids flutter. God, he's sexy.

I try to fuck him hard and fast, but he keeps messing with my rhythm, grabbing my hips and slowing me down when I'm getting close. It's maddening but also kind of hot. I secretly love it when he teases me like this, winding me up like a toy.

He loves it, too, because it never fails to turn me into a babbling idiot. I tell him how much I've missed him, how much I want him, how good he's making me feel, how badly I need to come.

When he lifts me off him, I shriek in frustration. 'No,' I tell him. 'More.'

He lifts an eyebrow as he presses his palm to my sternum and guides me to lie down. 'No more?'

I shake my head wildly. 'No.' I know exactly what he's doing but I fall right into it. 'More.'

He kicks his shorts off before he crawls over me. His hand slides down my thigh to cup my calf. 'No more?'

I let out this pathetic sounding whimper. 'Fuck me,' I tell him. 'I need you to fuck me.'

He licks his lips as he hovers over me. 'You're so fucking gorgeous,' he says. He lifts my leg until my calf rests against his shoulder, which makes me moan in anticipation.

His mouth drops open as he pushes inside me. I expect him to start pounding into me, but he moves slowly, still trying to drive me crazy.

I scrabble at his back, trying to get him to speed up, but he just bites his lip and slows his thrusts even more. It's torture. Exquisite torture. Each slow, deep stroke sets me shuddering and writhing. I'm covered in sweat and goosebumps.

'Edward.' It's almost a sob. 'Please.' I grab his arse, my nails digging, and try to rock my hips against his pelvis. He has me pinned, though, unable to find the friction I need to get where I want to go.

'Please,' I say again. 'I want to come. Make me come.'

He grunts, and, apparently having had his fill of teasing me, speeds his thrusts. He slams into me, hits me exactly where I need it. A few more thrusts and I think I might actually be crying because it's so good, too good, and then I'm whimpering and coming and Edward's groaning and coming and when my orgasm finally recedes, I'm just a boneless, sweaty, teary mess.

Edward lets my leg slip off his shoulder and gently brushes my sweat-soaked hair from my face. 'You okay?'

I manage a nod. My voice is a little scratchy. 'I think I understand the expression "fuck my brains out".'

He frowns. 'Was it too much?'

'Huh?' I'm confused at first, because I'm not sure how he missed the bit where I was begging him for more, before I realise it's because he's touchy about the brain thing. 'Definitely not. It was amazing.' I reach up and try to wipe the creases from his forehead. 'Hey, Edward?'

'Yes?'

'I want us to get married. Soon.'


	40. Chapter 40

_This is the end for these two. Sorry it took a while._

_I have a few more ideas percolating and self-isolating should mean more writing time. _

_Stay safe, stop hoarding stuff, and wash your hands. _

* * *

'So, we have an announcement to make…'

'We're getting married!'

The reaction is exactly what I'd expected. A chorus of congratulations and Esme bursting into tears.

My guts twists, and I hate that I'm feeling anything but complete joy right now. Under the table, I quickly slip my ring off and put it back on my right hand. I am excited, really, but I'm also kind of devastated.

'Have you thought about when?' Edward asks. If he's disappointed, too, he's hiding it well as he beams at Katie.

'As soon as we can after Katie graduates,' Riley says. 'We'll have a few weeks between that and when she starts Basic Training.'

'That's so soon,' Esme says. She sniffles and Edward passes her a serviette. She wipes her eyes and pats his hand in thanks.

Katie nods. 'I know. But we want to do it before life gets too crazy. And we don't want anything too fancy. Just a quick service with a celebrant and then a good meal with all our friends. We don't need the flowers and the cake and the bridal party. Just something simple.'

'But special,' Riley adds. 'We were thinking about doing the whole thing at a restaurant somewhere. Maybe do the wedding bit on a balcony or in a courtyard, then have the meal inside.'

'That's lovely,' Esme says. 'Can I insist on a photographer, though? You don't have to do posed pictures, but you'll want the day documented.'

Katie nods and Riley says, 'Yeah, we've already talked about that. My brother's best mate is a photographer, and we really like his style. So we'll definitely want to have him there.'

The longer the wedding chat goes on, the further I slip into my funk. It's starting to feel like the universe really doesn't want Edward and me to get married. When the discussion turns to what Katie and Riley want to wear, I can't take any more. I start gathering up the empty plates.

Esme tells me I don't need to, but I just shake my head. 'It's fine,' I say. 'I'll get the dishwasher going and then bring out dessert, okay?'

'Thank you, sweetheart. It's in the fridge.'

Before I've even left the room, the conversation has turned to dresses and fabrics and colour schemes.

'I think I want to wear grey,' Katie says. 'Like the colour of a rain cloud.'

I set the stack of plates on Esme's kitchen counter and brace my hands on the bench. I close my eyes and blow out a breath, trying to keep the tears that are threatening from falling. I'm stoked for Katie and Riley; I just can't believe their timing. We've been waiting two years to announce our engagement and the day we were finally going to say something…

'You okay?' Edward is behind me, his chest pressed against my back, his hands settling beside mine. His lips find my neck and I let out a soft sigh.

'Fine,' I say. 'Just…' I try to turn my head to look up at him, but he's got me caged in. 'Aren't you even a _little_ disappointed?'

Edward drags his tongue down my neck to my shoulder and presses his dick into my arse. He's hard, and I'm really not in the mood.

'The fuck?' I snap. I try to turn in his arms but he keeps me trapped.

'I _was_ disappointed,' he says, his lips barely leaving my skin. 'My sister does have a knack for stealing my thunder.' He tugs my shirt to reveal more of my shoulder. 'But then I had an epiphany, and now I'm just really fucking horny.'

'Care to enlighten me?'

Edward runs his hands up my forearms, then starts toying with the hem of my T-shirt.

I tense, frustrated, as he moves his lips back up my neck.

'I realised,' he says, 'that this is actually fucking perfect.'

'How's that?' It comes out a little more breathless than I want. Despite my irritation, his lips on my neck are doing things to me. Very nice things.

'Because now Mum gets to help plan a wedding, which means I'm off the hook.'

'Huh?'

'Let's elope,' he mutters. His hand slips under my shirt, his finger splay across my belly. 'Let's get married tomorrow.'

'It takes a month,' I mumble. His pinky finger dips under the waistband of my jeans and I'm quickly catching up to where Edward's already at. 'You need to put in a Notice of Intended Marriage one month before.'

'Then we do that today and elope in a month.'

I don't bother pointing out that it's Sunday and we'll have to wait until tomorrow morning. Instead I drop my head back and reach up until my hands find Edward's hair. I tug until he lifts his face and his eyes meet mine.

'Let's do it.' I say. 'I don't care about the wedding. Let's just sign the fucking papers and get married.'

Edward kisses me hard, groaning softly as my tongue finds his. He finally steps back enough to let me turn in his arms, and then we're making out, his hands up my shirt and his dick grinding against my belly.

'We need to go home,' I tell him. I need him to fuck me.

Edward grunts a little as catches my lips in another kiss. He palms my arse and then lifts me onto the kitchen bench. He's pressed against me right where I want him now, and as good as it feels, it's not enough. I need him naked, inside me, and I need it now.

I shove his chest. 'Home,' I say. 'Now.'

Edward pulls back with a groan. He's breathing hard, his cheeks and neck flushed pink, his eyes a little glazed.

'Mum,' he calls out. 'Bel isn't feeling so good. I gotta take her home.'

He doesn't wait for her response, instead grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the front door. I scoop up our shoes as Edward yells, 'Congratulations again, Riley, Katiecakes. I'll call you later tonight.'

I hear Katie's, 'What's going on, Ned?' before he slams the door shut and hustles me down the driveway to his ute.

He drives us home with one hand on the steering wheel and the other between my thighs, forcing me to change gears for him while he tells me in exquisite, filthy detail about all the things he's going to do to me when he gets me inside and naked.

The five minutes it takes to get home feel like an eternity, and I've never been so relieved when he pulls into our driveway. I yank on the handbrake while he tugs the keys from the ignition, but instead of getting out of the car, he shoves his hand deeper into my underwear and kisses me until I come against his fingertips.

He pulls his hand from my pants and wipes his fingers on his shirt.

'Inside,' he says. 'Unless you want the neighbours to watch me take you on the bonnet.'

I trail into the house behind him in a daze, my ears still ringing and my jeans undone.

Edward kicks the front door shut and pulls me into our bedroom. He walks me towards the bed but instead of turning me around, he puts my hands on the edge of the mattress. 'This okay?' he asks quietly as he pushes my back down gently.

I nod dumbly, my cheek pressed against the doona cover and my brain still fogged with lust.

Edward pulls my jeans and underwear down to my knees, and then he kneads my bum gently before I hear him unzip his own jeans.

He fucks me hard and fast, his fingers digging into my hips. 'I can't wait to marry you,' he says, his voice a little hoarse. 'I can't wait to fuck you when you're my wife. I can't wait to make babies with you. I can't wait—oh, shit. Fuck.'

He collapses against my back, and I can feel his heart hammering through his chest.

'Edward…' I'm uncomfortably turned on and he's a deadweight as he slumps over me. I reach behind me and pat his legs. 'Baby, get off.'

He snickers quietly as he complies. 'Already did.'

Before I can move, he pulls my shirt up over my head. He leaves it tangled around my arms as he spins me around and yanks my bralette down to free my tits.

He pushes me down onto the bed. My shirt is trapped under me, my wrists still caught in it. It would be easy enough to untangle myself, but it's kind of hot being rendered somewhat immobile, so I don't bother.

Edward's mouth closes over a nipple, hot and wet, while his hand moves back between my legs. He brings me to the edge quickly, but he's not satisfied with one orgasm. He doesn't stop loving on my tits and moving his hand between my thighs until he's dragged another from me.

Our breathing is loud as he collapses onto the bed beside me, a self-satisfied smirk curling his lips. 'Fuck, I love you,' he says.

I yawn, squirming a little. I really need to shower but I don't have the energy to move just yet. 'I love you, too.'

Edward rolls towards me. He tucks a stand of hair behind me ear and my stomach swoops at the tender gesture. I love the contrast, the way he's so gentle after he's just fucked me into oblivion.

'So, you really want to elope?' he asks. 'We don't have to. We can like, wait until Katie and Riley get back from their honeymoon and have a small wedding then.'

I contemplate this for a moment.

'No,' I say. 'Let's just get married as soon as we possibly can. One month from tomorrow morning. We can have a little party here to celebrate if we want to. But we'll do that bit later.'

Edward smiles over at me. 'Deal,' he says. He chuckles softly. 'We could send out engagement party invites and then be like, "Surprise, motherfuckers. We're already married."'

I have to laugh at that. 'That actually sounds perfect. But I wouldn't recommend you call my dad a motherfucker. Not to his face, anyway.'

Edward snickers. 'Ironic, really, because he is a mother fucker.'

'My parents do not fuck,' I tell him. 'I refuse to contemplate it.'

Edward opens his mouth, but then decides against pursuing the point. 'So,' he says, wriggling a little closer to me. 'We'll be married in what… thirty-one days.' His eyes shine with excitement. 'Too easy.'

Most things in life sure haven't been this easy. Not with his parents' split and Esme's stints in rehab. Not with Alistair getting divorced after only six months of marriage, or with Rosalie and Em miscarrying, or with my mum having to get a basal cell carcinoma removed from her shoulder. It's been stressful and heartbreaking and sometimes downright awful.

What has been easy, though, is remembering why I fell in love with Edward. All the ups and downs and sudden slides sideways and I'm the luckiest idiot in the world, because I get to do it with him by my side.


End file.
